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J “poser man” Schwartz
Works at your mother's house
Attends to your mother
Lives in your... hmm
317 followers|207,062 views
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J Schwartz

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You wish you were as cool as this monkey.
 
Chill'n.. 
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J Schwartz

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J Schwartz

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Just watched. Did a bit of a double take when I realised this was released nearly 15 years ago. Fuck, what have I been doing with my life?
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J Schwartz's profile photoPeter Michie's profile photoDavid Shekelbaum's profile photo
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Nowhere I implied anything about malice. I'm actually almost positive that you were dead serious when placing Ritchie movies on the exact same level as that 51st trash. So not sure how to interpret your current post now...
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J Schwartz

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And for your daily dose of schadenfreude.
 
Idiots.   Wanking fucking idiots.
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Wow, finger on the pulse, the peace camp has been there for decades. 
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J Schwartz

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Keep trying to watch Babylon 5. Keep falling asleep. Does it get better after the first four-odd episodes or is the whole series universally this awful?
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Stuart Laverick's profile photoJ Schwartz's profile photoDavid Shekelbaum's profile photoHeather Lorenz's profile photo
12 comments
 
Actually rewatched the first couple of seasons of SG1 just a couple of years ago. It holds up.
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J Schwartz

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Tripping balls on nostalgia right about now. Sound effects don't seem to live up to the original, although I still need this game inside me.
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J Schwartz's profile photoDavid Shekelbaum's profile photo
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Yeah, I gave up searching for games in the Play Store almost as soon as I started. Also stopped paying attention to Steam's 'new releases' page since they opened the floodgates on fifty new 2D platformers and phone ports a week.
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J Schwartz

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...
 
I have such a touching, personal relationship WITH THESE FUCKING BOTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Have them in circles
317 people
Grace Massa Langlois's profile photo
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john kinsey's profile photo

J Schwartz

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The only thing more difficult than torrenting this movie is finding a fucking trailer for it. Just watched. Why? No fucking idea. It was a made-for-TV movie that ripped off Twister and starred Ash Williams, so pretty much what I was expecting.
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David Shekelbaum's profile photo
 
> Fox original movie

Not even if you paid me.
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J Schwartz

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...

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Paul Ho's profile photoJ Schwartz's profile photoDavid Shekelbaum's profile photo
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I actually believe that he kinda knows... For a long time.
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J Schwartz

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Via some dude G+ won't let me +thingy via +Sultan Saini.
 
Militant Canadians are the worst
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The supposedly "American" girl is obviously a foreign agente provocateuse, or she'd know which way to hang the Flag. 
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J Schwartz

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Via +Noel Yap 
 
The stupid is strong with this #dumbfuck  
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David Shekelbaum's profile photo
 
Pretty sure it's a very obvious and intentional fake, even though hilarious one. On the other hand, the logic flow of that comment alone... that's a completely different matter. You can't make up that level of stupid.
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J Schwartz

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Oh god, what are Google doing? I post one Duran Duran video a couple of weeks ago and every second 'What's Hot' post in my stream is of someone else posting a Duran Duran video.


Edit: Fuck, I just realised that I mentioned them twice more. This is not going to end well.
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J Schwartz's profile photoDavid Shekelbaum's profile photo
19 comments
 
^___________^
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People
Have them in circles
317 people
Grace Massa Langlois's profile photo
Carmelyne Thompson's profile photo
john kinsey's profile photo
Work
Occupation
Ever wonder where all your biros disappeared to? That's me. You're welcome.
Skills
Sarcasm, pedantry, saying inappropriate things in the presence of children and/or old people.
Employment
  • your mother's house
    present
Places
Map of the places this user has livedMap of the places this user has livedMap of the places this user has lived
Currently
your... hmm
Links
Contributor to
Story
Tagline
Taglines, because apparently we're all superheroes. I call dibs on Batman.
Introduction
I post mostly pretty frivolous stuff; reshares of jokes, films, games, and the occasional bit of more sober reading. Jokes I post/reshare can get a little raw and I can't promise that everything will be safe for work. I also swear. A lot.

I try to keep things pretty light and impersonal but people have been known to piss me off enough that I may occasionally go in to serious mode, in which case expect a lot of pedantry and wikipaedia links. If you see me posting a correction, just leave me be and don't get your panties in a twist.

With the exception of single recipient PMs, all my posts are public. Comments are always open and you can reply with whatever the fuck you want short of spamming (clickbait, site/product spam, revenge-commenting 'fgt' on everything I've shared over the last six months). I've been using G+ since launch and haven't had to delete any comments or block anyone yet.

If you don't make most of your posts public, if you brag about blocking people, or if you limit who can comment on your posts, I won't circle you back as a point of principle (and because I'm not wasting time on prima donnas). If most of your posts are promoting a product/service, inane, 'inspirational', attention-whoring, bigoted, or expounding on your personal politics, I probably won't circle you back as a point of personal taste.

People who deserve a bigger audience and who you should follow:
John Kinsey
Monica Madison
Chris Galardi
Lila Redden
David Shekelbaum
Gorrecki Gorrek
Iain Closs
Peter Michie
Yatharth Agarwal
Maine Ninja
Tjaart Blignaut
Chris Hennessey
Erin McCann


Not content to merely spread bullshit, the following people have gone the extra step of outright deleting/blocking my negative feedback. Congratulations on sticking your fingers in your ears and screaming 'lalala'; we're all really impressed by how maturely you handle yourself. Also, thanks for demonstrating why these social networks are a fucking cancer to honest discourse on the Internet, why the human race is fucking pathetic, and why the average person can't be trusted with even the tiniest bit of responsibility. As a demonstration of what honesty and engaging in good faith actually looks like, observe as I dedicate a portion of my profile to promoting you mother fuckers:

Susan Stone (was blocked for being 'snide')
Kevin Thomas (blocked for being 'cynical')
Mike Elgan (blocked for calling him a buffoon, a determination I stand by)
Tony Kochhar (warning: spam) (blocked because he didn't like it when I pointed out that he's just here to sell shit)
Jim Munro (blocked because he apparently can't eat what he dishes)
Mike Thomas (blocked, no idea, probably something to do with being 'negative')
Kevin Lanni (blocked after he poked the bear and didn't like my response)
Tiffany Henry (casually deletes negative feedback)
Deb Hanrahan (blocked for posting this link here)
Kimberly Chapman (speaks for itself)
Tom McGill (blocked and 'reported' me for this)
Matthew Harmon (blocked for being a "baiting troll" - your guess is as good as mine)
Jack (no idea, literally the closest I have come to having any interaction with him)
Tessa Schlesinger (has issues)
Diane Cobb (critical comment deleted and blocked)
Bragging rights
Made my first cool million at 12, invented the typewriter, gave Woody Allen the idea to direct, lost 50lb in 5 weeks, ask me how!
Education
  • to your mother
    present
Basic Information
Gender
Other or Decline to State
Birthday
January 1