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Marisa S
251 followers -
Stay at home mom, Plexus Ind Ambassador # 349726, pet lover, and blogger
Stay at home mom, Plexus Ind Ambassador # 349726, pet lover, and blogger

251 followers
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As someone with an aquarium I have looked at a lot of different lighting options for the best colors in my plants and fish, but I never really considered lighting for my home in the same way. I just know I prefer white light over the yellowed bulbs that were popular for so long.
Here is a quick overview on the different between T5 and T8 low bay lighting and why you may prefer one over the other. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wiUHbWlUClQ

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Started reading The Abducted by Roger Hayden earlier this evening! About a third of the way through! It's really good so far and is free right now on Kindle! Win!!!
http://amzn.to/2kM5rSr

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Looking at #MusiciansFriend and found the Yamaha Digital Piano with GHS action! It looks really cool because the keys are weighted just like you would expect from an acoustic piano (traditional piano)!
I personally self-taught when I was young and had a standard keyboard. While I was able to get songs and the fingering correct playing on a real piano was always difficult for me and never sounded right because I wasn't used to the weighted keys and the resistance, where with the older keyboards you could barely touch a key and get the same sound as if you smashed it.
Now that they are making keyboard/pianos with weighted keys I am really excited! It makes it far more affordable for anyone who has a child and wants to learn piano but doesn't have space or money to buy a traditional piano that requires maintenance and regular tuning.
A Digital Piano with GHS could easily fit into any home whether it's a small apartment, a mobile home that you are concerned about weight in or even in a traditional home where you like to rearrange furniture easily!
This type of piano would also travel well for musicians who are setting up their own gigs and have to bring their own piano for a performance!
http://www.musiciansfriend.com/home-digital-pianos/yamaha-p-115-88-key-weighted-action-digital-piano-with-ghs-action


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I never knew that I could or would learn to be ashamed of my nakedness again, looking at my body and feeling like it should be hidden under layers of shapeless clothes, covering the saggy-breasts and stretch marks caused by having babies, the extra weight and even cellulite on my bum and hips becoming something that make me hate the mirror all while I am supposed to sit there and look into that same piece of glass and tell myself I am beautiful and loved, when a month ago I felt beautiful, I felt loved, and now I can barely look myself in the eyes without seeing the ugliness that everyone else must see when they look at me.

I wash my face and brush my teeth and when I lock eyes with my own tears well up and trickle down my cheeks, leaving a salted surface that feels like it’s eating away the very flesh that no one should be seeing anyway.

I am ugly.

I’ve never thought those three words before. I have thought I am fat. I need to lose weight. I have health issues. I have stretch marks or what I once called lines of love since they were formed while I was growing a child inside of me with months of bed rest keeping my weight out of control.

Yet today, and right now, I want to cover the mirrors in a shroud of black. I don’t want to see my reflection, or to be seen by anyone at all. I want to tape over my webcam just in case it accidentally gets turned on so that no one can be disgusted by the “what” that I have become. I toss on clothes despite being uncomfortably hot while covered in layers of thick blankets that already hide my body, just so I don’t have to see myself.

Like my ugliness is so appalling I shouldn’t even glance with my own eyes.

A month ago I was supposed to go in and get my annual check up and asked the nurse if my doctor could do it because he knows my scars and wounds and I don’t want anyone else to see them, now I won’t be making the appointment at all because I don’t want to disgust him with my nakedness, having to touch me through latex-free gloves and swab samples from the parts that are hidden away that most definitely shouldn’t be seen.

Last night I wore a long shapeless tunic with sleeves that met my hands and a skirt that met my ankles and I felt disgusting and exposed because I was wearing flip flops instead of something that would have covered me completely, like a pair of boots.

And yet, I am supposed to believe I am beautiful and all I want to do is hide.

Words cut deeper than any razor, knife or scalpel ever could. My confidence went from healthy to non-existent but it’s not anyone’s fault but my own because I am emotional and twist the words so they hurt instead of taking them to mean whatever they are “supposed” to.

I actually thought today that I should put on some makeup, not to feel pretty or playful, but to hide the disgusting skin I am in. Instead I stayed in bed all day because no one would want to see me anyway.

Because, I am ugly.


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I am totally loving the pan organizer available from #ovis! I am in love with the small house movement and as I source things for possibly building a tiny home these types of space savers are becoming more and more amazing! How would you like to #reinventYourKitchen? I know mine would be far easier to access and I would save time and space by implementing some of these amazing designs! http://www.ovisonline.com/Cookware-Organizers-C90.aspx

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