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Counselling-In-Harrogate
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Counselling & Psychotherapy in Yorkshire to improve mental wellbeing and health.
Counselling & Psychotherapy in Yorkshire to improve mental wellbeing and health.

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What's 'normal' about grief? Coping with bereavement.
It's a good question to ask and in the first instance it's
important to know that grief is a normal part of human experience which all of us will have to go through at some time.   There
is no set process or pattern to our experience of grief and that too i...
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Starting University?

You are not alone, thousands of people are beginning a new phase in life.

Here's an interesting article from the BACP, click the link to read more.

http://www.bacp.co.uk/media/index.php?newsId=3829

Remember that if you are struggling then speak to the University Counselling service for support.
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Starting University?

Click on the link and read more


https://www.facebook.com/CounsellingInHarrogate/posts/751876968274767
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Struggling with gambling issues- you are not alone.

An interesting article by the BBC is definitely worth a read. There is help out there if you need it: gamblers anonymous, Gamcare & trained gambling addiction counsellors.

Did you know you can use blocking software on your laptop/ mobile device? Did you know you can Self exclude from betting establishments?


http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/30716977

( I am a gambling addiction counsellor if you feel that you may need any additional support or help with gambling issues).
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Struggling with gambling issues- you are not alone.

An interesting article by the BBC is definitely worth a read. There is help out there if you need it: gamblers anonymous, Gamcare & trained gambling addiction counsellors.

Did you know you can use blocking software on your laptop/ mobile device? Did you know you can Self exclude from betting establishments?


http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/30716977

( I am a gambling addiction counsellor if you feel that you may need any additional support or help with gambling issues).
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Low self-esteem?

The term Self-esteem is used to describe the beliefs we have about ourselves. What we think about the type of person we are, our abilities and the way we see our future panning out – positive or negative.

Healthy Self-esteem – you will have positive beliefs about yourself and although you may experience difficult times, you will deal with them without too much long term negative impact on yourself.

Low Self-esteem – You will have negative beliefs about yourself. You perhaps focus on mistakes you have made, your weaknesses and find it hard to think of the positive parts of you. You may blame yourself for difficult times that come your way or failures you may encounter. You may think you will fail at everything you do.

Factors that can affect Self-Esteem:

Difficult childhood experiences; bullying, difficult family relationships, having a hard time at school, childhood trauma.

Difficult life events; end of a relationship, long term illness, death of someone close, being unemployed or made redundant

Feeling ‘Different’ from others; feeling like “the odd one out”, experiencing peer pressure to conform.

Personality; finding it hard to relate to others, tendency to think negatively.

Relationships with others; you may feel that you don’t live up to expectations of others, others being negative about you or belittling you as a person.

Stress; If you are finding it hard to cope with stress and excessive pressures

Negative Thinking; You may develop thinking patterns that reinforce feelings of low self-esteem such as comparing yourself to others or setting such high standards that are impossible to achieve.

Stigma and Discrimination; Being discriminated against for whatever reason.

Having a low self-esteem and negative thinking patterns can make it hard to motivate yourself, to socialize or participate in hobbies which, in turn, prevent you from living life. This can lead to frustration, anxiety and over time, to depression. It can also cause people to develop unhelpful behaviours in order to cope and reinforces the feelings of low self-esteem. For example, drinking to excess, forming damaging relationships, developing eating problems, and social phobia resulting in withdrawing and becoming more isolated.

In order to increase your self-esteem you will need to challenge and change the current negative thoughts and beliefs you have about yourself. This may seem overwhelming and impossible but here are a few techniques that may help:

Think about what you enjoy, or used to enjoy, what you may be good at or have always wanted to try such as a language, cooking, a new club, DIY. Try not to overstretch or take on a big challenge to begin with otherwise you will have a tendency to give up and feel as though you have failed.

Think about the relationships you have. Try associating with people who will not criticize you and who you feel are supportive and positive, this can help you feel more confident and more positive.

Focus on Positive Things. This will take practice to think positively about yourself. Try to make a list of things you like about yourself, this could include; things about your personality, the way you look, things you do, skills you have. Over the next few weeks, try and aim for 50. Keep the list with you and look for something new each day and when you are feeling low then look at it and remember the good things about yourself. Alternatively write down 3 things per day that went well and you have achieved.

Look after your physical health. Get enough sleep, eat regularly and healthy foods and exercise.

Set yourself a challenge. Setting a goal or challenge and achieving them will help you feel more positive about yourself.

A few more self help tips:

*Do activities that you enjoy.
*Spend time with positive, supportive people.
*Be helpful and considerate to others.
*Try not to compare yourself to other people.
*Try to do regular exercise, eat healthily and get enough sleep.
*Be assertive – don’t let people treat you with a lack of respect.*Use self-help books and websites to develop helpful skills, like assertiveness or mindfulness.*Learn to challenge your negative beliefs.Acknowledge your positive qualities and things you are good at.Get into the habit of thinking and saying positive things about yourself.

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Thought I would share this recent article as its an issue that keeps coming up in therapy.
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After Someone Dies

 Everyone experiences grief differently – there is no ‘right’ way to feel.  Feelings can include shock, disbelief, numbness, despair, intense sadness, depression, fear, relief, anger and depression.

It sometimes feels like a roller coaster of emotions that can be overwhelming at times.   This can still be the case even if the death happened years ago.

I feel So Alone….It is often hard to believe that anybody else can understand the pain and sense of loss you might be experiencing and this can result in a feeling of isolation.  Not everyone will understand but some people will.How Can I cope With It….?It can seem as though the world has ended  and its hard to imagine good things happening again. It might help to talk and explore your feelings with a friend, a family member or a counsellor.Nobody can wave a magic wand to make the pain go away or make life ‘normal’ again but some people find the following helpful:Making a memory box.Write a letter to the person who has died.Record favourite songs of the person that has died.Keep a diary of how you feel.How Long will It Take?Unfortunately, grieving is an individual process and impossible to say how long it can take.  However,  give yourself time to grieve and at your own pace whilst also allowing yourself to have fun, laugh and to cry. 
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Counselling Services in Harrogate, Knaresborough, Ripon, Wetherby. Counselling for a variety of issues including Workplace counselling, General counselling, counselling for Serving veterans, Stress related issues, anxiety, obsessive compulsive disorders. 
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