In a comment on Language Log recently*, I shared a system of personality types that I invented — a parody of Myers-Briggs (which nobody actually takes seriously, but everyone knows someone who knows someone whose employer takes it seriously). I thought I'd share it here for ease of linking.

Here is the test:

1. Are you a Cat Person [C] or a Dog Person [D] ?
2. Are you a Haiku Person [H] or a Limerick Person [L] ?
3. Are you an Orange Person [O] or an Apple Person [A] ?
4. Are you a Star Wars Person [W] or a Star Trek Person [T] ?
5. Are you a Morning Person [M] or a Night Person [N] ?

To discover your personality type, write down the letter corresponding to each of your answers in order. For example, if you like cats, limericks, oranges, Star Wars and night time, then you are a CLOWN.

My own answers:

1. I know lots of good dogs, but I generally prefer the animal that can keep itself amused and not continuously beg for attention. [C]
2. I appreciate a good haiku as much as the next person, but limericks are written on my soul. [L]
3. Oranges are nice if you're in the mood but easily overdone, whereas I drink apple juice regularly. [A]
4. It's true that Star Wars is the McDonalds of science fantasy, but in my experience Star Trek is the Watching Paint Dry of science fiction. At least McDonalds has milkshakes, hence I have to choose [W], but actually it's Stargate all the way.
5. Please let me sleep in. Without a doubt, [N].

Hence I am a CLAWN. What are you?

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