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Danielle Geer
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Call Girl Confessional

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Something about something...
This morning I may or may not have climbed into the shower still wearing my underwear. (I'll let you all contemplate that for a moment.) (Seriously... this shit totally happened.) As I was raising my right foot to step over the threshold I thought, "Wait......

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The One Where My Vagina Is Not Ready For It's Close-up
I'm almost embarrassed to admit this, considering I'm a grown-ass woman and all, but I avoid gynecological exams like it's my JOB , yo.  (And since I currently don't have a job, I have plenty of time to dedicate to my avoidance.) I know that in this day and...

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I think I'm growing a hump (and other stories)
*Author's note:  If you're under 40 and can't relate to this AT ALL, just wait.  It's called middle-age, people, and it's coming for you. I'm starting to accept the fact that I'm not getting any younger.  Okay, that's a lie.  I'm starting to accept the fact...

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She Bangs!
I made the reckless decision a month or so ago that I should have bangs.  (I liken this event to the whole Britney Spears head-shaving extravaganza because the same amount of thought and rationalization no doubt went into both decisions and had equally disa...

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She Bangs!
I made the reckless decision a month or so ago that I should have bangs.  My impromptu hair decisions are legendary and mostly tragic.  They are usually made either in the dead of night after taking Ambien or first thing in the morning on a particularly bad...

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The One With All The Crotch Grabbing
Yesterday was a gorgeous sunny day in northern New York, where I have the misfortune to be living.  (No, really... it's ugly as snot here right now.  I'm all, "This is spring?  Where are the flowers?  Where is the sun?  Where are the leaves on the freaking ...
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