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Shelly Mateer
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Former CIA officer-turned-Mom. Author of Single in the CIA, the Mingling in the CIA series and Mission: Stand Down. Inventor of the BurpMitt™.
Former CIA officer-turned-Mom. Author of Single in the CIA, the Mingling in the CIA series and Mission: Stand Down. Inventor of the BurpMitt™.

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My books keep multiplying!

shellymateer.com
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Dodging puddles of mysterious liquids...

From my latest book, Mingling in the CIA: Bloud:

…Dodging a puddle of mysterious liquid on the floor, he slipped out the back door into the brilliant daylight of a Fort Lauderdale afternoon. The ocean crashed to his left as he walked down the sidewalk filled with joggers and bikini-clad women. Despite the bright surroundings, he felt a sense of dread creeping over him, hastened by the many shots of tequila he had downed at the last bar in which he had spent his afternoon. He glanced with disdain at a very botoxed older woman with a small white dog on a pink leash who almost bumped into him as she fumbled for a cigarette in her purse. He hated women. No, he didn’t just hate women, he hated the entire human race. He suddenly felt the urge for a very strong drink…

If you would like to read more excerpts from my books, please visit www.shellymateer.com/blog/.

Dodging puddles of mysterious liquids...

From my latest book, Mingling in the CIA: Bloud:

…Dodging a puddle of mysterious liquid on the floor, he slipped out the back door into the brilliant daylight of a Fort Lauderdale afternoon. The ocean crashed to his left as he walked down the sidewalk filled with joggers and bikini-clad women. Despite the bright surroundings, he felt a sense of dread creeping over him, hastened by the many shots of tequila he had downed at the last bar in which he had spent his afternoon. He glanced with disdain at a very botoxed older woman with a small white dog on a pink leash who almost bumped into him as she fumbled for a cigarette in her purse. He hated women. No, he didn’t just hate women, he hated the entire human race. He suddenly felt the urge for a very strong drink…

If you would like to read more excerpts from my books, please visit www.shellymateer.com/blog/.

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Introducing a new character... Bloud!

We first met Bloud in my book, Single in the CIA. You may remember some of the more memorable moments, included below:

…Apparently he had done some pretty exciting things years ago and he loved talking about his experiences, holding a captive audience in the young officers surrounding him. He delighted in telling tales of encounters with tigers and serving time in a hole in the ground somewhere in the Middle East. It was hard to imagine this slovenly, obese man doing anything besides eating pork rinds and drinking beer, but the stories were entertaining. He was given the Chief of Operations or third-in-charge position in the office…

…Bloud painted a somewhat pathetic picture of himself, explaining that without his career he would have nothing. He was nearing the mandatory retirement age, and he did not know what to do with himself once he was forced to retire. He described a haunting image he had of himself as a janitor somewhere, sweeping the floor, living out his retirement. He seemed like a sad and lost soul. That evening, when we both left to go our separate ways, we agreed that anything we talked about was just between the two of us…

…Bloud was in charge while Lawrence was gone, but that was not saying much. He had taken to throwing hissy fits and closing himself in his office any time he received news from Headquarters that he did not like. He would leave the young officers who needed his guidance out in the cold while he sulked behind a closed door. He had also begun a weekly ritual of cooking a slab of meat in a crock pot for the whole office and we were all expected to eat it and listen to him blabber on while the young officers kissed his butt. I dreaded being herded into the office kitchen for these little get-togethers…

…One day when Henningway was out of the office and Bloud was Acting Chief, Bloud spent the day locked in his office and refused to release any cable traffic while he was there. Even the youngest most impressionable officers saw the immaturity in this almost sixty-year-old man…

…I sat down across from him and he explained that Bloud had been telling Vicky a lot about me. He said that upon her arrival Bloud had met with Vicky to discuss the office and had only discussed two people for the entire meeting – me and Jon, a more senior officer who always seemed to be in the middle of a controversy. Among the crazy lies that Bloud had told Vicky was that I had told him I was sleeping with Barry and that I had bragged about….

Want to get to know more about this charming personality, Bloud? Check out the newest installment in the Mingling in the CIA series!

www.shellymateer.com
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Post has attachment
Introducing a new character... Bloud!

We first met Bloud in my book, Single in the CIA. You may remember some of the more memorable moments, included below:

…Apparently he had done some pretty exciting things years ago and he loved talking about his experiences, holding a captive audience in the young officers surrounding him. He delighted in telling tales of encounters with tigers and serving time in a hole in the ground somewhere in the Middle East. It was hard to imagine this slovenly, obese man doing anything besides eating pork rinds and drinking beer, but the stories were entertaining. He was given the Chief of Operations or third-in-charge position in the office…

…Bloud painted a somewhat pathetic picture of himself, explaining that without his career he would have nothing. He was nearing the mandatory retirement age, and he did not know what to do with himself once he was forced to retire. He described a haunting image he had of himself as a janitor somewhere, sweeping the floor, living out his retirement. He seemed like a sad and lost soul. That evening, when we both left to go our separate ways, we agreed that anything we talked about was just between the two of us…

…Bloud was in charge while Lawrence was gone, but that was not saying much. He had taken to throwing hissy fits and closing himself in his office any time he received news from Headquarters that he did not like. He would leave the young officers who needed his guidance out in the cold while he sulked behind a closed door. He had also begun a weekly ritual of cooking a slab of meat in a crock pot for the whole office and we were all expected to eat it and listen to him blabber on while the young officers kissed his butt. I dreaded being herded into the office kitchen for these little get-togethers…

…One day when Henningway was out of the office and Bloud was Acting Chief, Bloud spent the day locked in his office and refused to release any cable traffic while he was there. Even the youngest most impressionable officers saw the immaturity in this almost sixty-year-old man…

…I sat down across from him and he explained that Bloud had been telling Vicky a lot about me. He said that upon her arrival Bloud had met with Vicky to discuss the office and had only discussed two people for the entire meeting – me and Jon, a more senior officer who always seemed to be in the middle of a controversy. Among the crazy lies that Bloud had told Vicky was that I had told him I was sleeping with Barry and that I had bragged about….

Want to get to know more about this charming personality, Bloud? Check out the newest installment in the Mingling in the CIA series!

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I'm having a Halloween Book Launch! The latest in the Mingling in the CIA series is now available !

What could be spookier than a bunch of ghosts and goblins?
A cranky, disgruntled CIA officer who has been allowed to stay well past his time!

In this installment of the Mingling in the CIA series readers continue to get a disturbing view into the daily life of the officers in America's premier spy agency. Join Bloud as he cheats and backstabs his way through his career while being generously funded by the U.S. government.

My books are available on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Books-a-Million, Kobo, iTunes Books, and Smashwords, and more!

www.shellymateer.com
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Post has attachment
I'm having a Halloween Book Launch! The latest in the Mingling in the CIA series is now available !

What could be spookier than a bunch of ghosts and goblins?
A cranky, disgruntled CIA officer who has been allowed to stay well past his time!

In this installment of the Mingling in the CIA series readers continue to get a disturbing view into the daily life of the officers in America's premier spy agency. Join Bloud as he cheats and backstabs his way through his career while being generously funded by the U.S. government.

My books are available on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Books-a-Million, Kobo, iTunes Books, and Smashwords, and more!

www.shellymateer.com
Photo

Floral patterns and vomit...

From my latest book, Mission: Stand Down:

…Suddenly, she pulled back and lurched forward somewhat violently all at the same time, and Jay was covered in a very warm liquid. She collapsed on his chest in a heap of brown hair and vomit. The stench was more than he could take and he felt himself gagging as he pushed her off of him on the bed, where her vomit began to blend in with the floral pattern on the comforter…

For more excerpts from my books, please visit www.shellymateer.com/blog/.

The Forbidden Dog...

From my latest book, Mission: Stand Down:

…During his early days in Konigstan, Jay had toyed with the idea of adopting a dog. Konigstan was not a particularly dog-friendly environment and stray dogs were often shot on sight or killed in very inhumane ways. One morning, Winston had spent an entire car ride complaining about how his daughter wanted a pet dog, but religious leaders claimed that dog ownership was [text was redacted here], or forbidden [text was redacted here]. Winston, a doting father, had explained to his tearful daughter that dog walking had been prohibited, and it would not be fair to keep a dog cooped up in their small apartment. He had told Jay about a rare dog shelter just outside of Furstville and on one exceptionally long day of waiting for Headquarters to acknowledge Jay’s existence, Jay had asked Winston to take him to the shelter.

Pulling up outside of the desolate building that housed the shelter, Jay had recalled a dark memory from his childhood. One afternoon, woken from a drunken slumber, Uncle [text was redacted here] had become enraged by the persistent barking of a neighborhood stray. Jay watched in horror as his uncle produced a switchblade, and trapping the dog under his legs, had begun slicing the dog’s flesh as it screamed in pain and tried to wriggle free of [text was redacted here] grasp.
At five years old, Jay watched in shock as [text was redacted here] left the dog, still alive but cut in pieces, to die a slow death in the dirt outside of their house. The dog had been one of Jay’s favorites, and he had often smuggled table scraps out to the dog…

For more excerpts from my books, please visit www.shellymateer.com/blog/.

Oops! I hope I didn't just break it!

From my latest book, Mission: Stand Down:

…Jay was drained. He patiently explained what the box was, while Andrew and Grover looked out the window and exclaimed excitedly about the gorgeous pool area view.

“Oh wow, okay. I don’t know anything about [text was redacted here], but that sounds pretty cool,” the logistics officer commented, before heading over to the window to join Andrew and Grover in their people watching. Grover was just commenting on how large one woman’s breasts were.

Jay sat, defeated, on the sofa and stared at the television, where a daytime talk show was playing, and the man on the screen was denying the paternity of a sobbing woman’s child. The logistics officer suddenly realized what time it was, and broke away from the group, explaining that she needed to get back to the office. As she was leaving, she casually announced that she would ship [text was redacted here] out in the next few days, and it would take a few weeks to get up to Headquarters. With that, she hurried toward the door, dropping the bag on the marble floor as she hustled out.

“Oh gawd, I hope I didn’t just break it,” she giggled, looking at Jay and shrugging…

For more excerpts from my books, please visit www.shellymateer.com/blog/.
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