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Chiara Marianna Coscia
98 followers -
Pushing an elephant
Pushing an elephant

98 followers
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[b]on the verge of a psychotic break[/b]

consolati. hai avuto fin troppo tempo in cui tutto va bene-va proprio tutto bene. lo rivuoi indietro, lo scettro di madonna di dolore. lo rivuoi, è tuo. non ti sei mica strafacciata contro un muro per diventare una pacata normale tranquilla donna soddisfatta? non ci si ingoia un tubetto di proiettili se non si è senza peccato. ti sei sparata un coltello nelle braccia a forza di morsi alle pareti. ti sei dimenata contro le scale a botte di salite e discese. quelle discese sempre più lunghe quelle salite sempre più dure le braccia sempre più male. male alle spalle con quel dannato elefante caricato sulla schiena. eri una farfalla che si è trasformata in una cavalletta. hai divorato quello che c'era da divorare. il letargo è finito. la quiete si è rotta. tu sei rotta. sei rotta. non si aggiustano le cose rotte. le cose rotte fanno schifo.
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* . *
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The gum you like is going to come back in style.
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mah, mi ricordo di avere Google + ogni tanto.
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continuo a confezionare bottiglie su bottiglie
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[...] each choice we make in life kills whatever is not chosen. To choose one branch path of life implies that another equally real branch will have to be cut off, or sacrificed.
[...]this imprint assumes that a reality that is desired but not chosen is just as real as the reality that exists already. This is not the case. Unchosen realities are not actual living experiences that are lost in order to keep what one already has. A reality or path that is not chosen is a fantasy, a dream; it is no more or less real than any other dream. In other words, the dream is real in the moment of dreaming it, and that is all. There is no future that has grown from this dream if the path that leads to that future is not chosen.[...]

The only reality, the only truth, the only essence that matters (in the literal sense of the word) is that which lives in this moment, here and now.[...]
Is it any wonder that its desires feel so compelling? Yet, to deny these desires, to choose the actuality of real, living love, complete with pain, insecurity and feelings of ‘not enough;’ to choose the evolving path of the moment to moment unfolding of what currently exists, is the most profoundly courageous and healing act that you can do [...] Desire for the new is a denial of the now. It is the voice that cries with anxious rage, “But what’s next? What’s going to happen next?” It is the voice that pushes away the current reality because it feels bored with it, impatient and restless for something else.[...] When you feel bored with what is, rather than reaching for what is new, We suggest that you feel what the boredom covers over. You may not be able to feel anything, for boredom is a drug that numbs your awareness of your true experience.[...] you are always free to choose for yourselves and to learn at your own right pace. These words are meant only for the ears which are ready to hear them.

(from finalresponsibility.wordpress.com)
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l'impressione e' quella del dissenso conclamato. ma e' solo un'impressione, e in quanto tale si risolve in se'. senza appello.
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oggi sto qua.
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