Profile cover photo
Profile photo
Philip Horger
I like pretzels, but not more than any other food.
I like pretzels, but not more than any other food.

Philip's interests
View all
Philip's posts

Just realized something crazy.

So it's an Irish stereotype to be emotionally closed off. But it's also an Irish stereotype to drink like a fish. But take these ideas together. Imagine still being that closed off while being fucking hammered like anvil. That's another level of emotional unavailability, and I'm impressed but also like "that must suck so much for you."

Post has attachment
Our dog is the Tetris snuggle. Zzzzz....

Post has attachment
Hard at work on cards for The Mountain King - a hyper-simplified D&D elimination party game about public policy in a world that's part Tolkien, part "the complex real world we adults are supposed to understand". It's actually been really fun to invent things like Dwarves for Civil Liberties! But I'm really looking forward to play testing, to find out if it's also fun to play :/

A full deck is 5 sets of 4 story cards each. Just finished the first 4-card set, so "just" 16 more story cards to come up with. And I need to make a LOT of voting cards out of construction paper (5 decks of 20 - minimum! More is better though). Ideally done by Saturday, so I'll have family to play with at a belated Thanksgiving party. Fingers crossed.

The nice thing about games with DM roles is that there's a natural thing for me to do other than compete with people who are still learning the rules - funny, people don't like that very much, especially if they lose, and it tends to be the last time they play "that game" with you. Lesson learned.

Eating leftover Halloween candy, because we bought like 5lb of candy and literally nobody showed up for it. Laffy Taffy is unexpectedly on point.

> What kind of tea is sometimes hard to swallow?
> Reality

Damn, LT. And this is next to a "ships and dip" joke. Was not expecting Nestle to capture the post-election mood in brutal accuracy.

Post has attachment
Playing around with game design. Will make some prototype cards soon on subsequent pages.

Finally learning OpenGL by doing, and it's filled me with all kinds of complaint material. I'm not honestly sure which is worse:

1. The core API, which is so in love with global state that it writes fanfic about the rise of the New World Order, or
2. The abstraction libraries that are supposed to make it easier, but actually just obscure the underlying API (which is hard enough to follow already).

I know this will get easier as I get familiar with it, and I internalize all the ass-backwardness until it makes a worrying amount of sense. It's just a tough process to get there, and I think I may have shot myself in the foot by starting this project in Dlang, which puts the last nail in the coffin of me being able to learn from tutorials without translating everything as I read it.

I have a deep-seated feeling, from my time in the church, that it's difficult if not impossible to express an anti-religion opinion without being an asshole. I generally don't like being an asshole. But if there's any time to call things like I see them... it's today.

Religion isn't very good at putting on the brakes. It's simplistic. The holier, the better. So stop being surprised that Muslims and Christians are being radicalized to the point of terrorism by their fellow (perhaps even less radical) man. This is what happens in an echo chamber, where the only thing that matters is your level of ideological patriotism.

Religion usually derives from old, proven rules. Not proven that they work, but that they spread and hold like an invasive species. It's incredibly territorial. This nearly guarantees that hate, in the present, is not just grandfathered in by the exact wording of sacred text (although it is), it's also inherent in the mechanics of competition. So don't be surprised if you feel a bit of tension or cognitive dissonance when trying to preach that your god is love, no matter how much you want to believe it.

One way religion gives a false impression of love, is providing free, effortless camaraderie with an unimaginably large corpus of strangers. We all defend each other, as fiercely as we'd defend ourselves. This leads to a sort of festering insulation from consequences - a whole network of people who will stand up for rapists and murderers because "he's one of us, so he would never do that!" or even more heinous excuses like "she deserved it!". So let's stop being surprised when massive segments of the population suppress and spin news like their lives depend on it.

If you're wondering what I'm talking about for that last point, the subreddit /r/news suppressed not only the story of the Orlando mass shooting, but information about how people could donate blood. This is because all moderators have equal capabilities - a single aggressive mod can censor an entire subreddit - and multiple mods were Muslim. It's not clear if they think the victims deserved it for going to a gay nightclub, or if they just want to protect the perpetrator because he's "one of us", but it's horrifying no matter what.

It's not just Islam, though. Every time a shooter kills people in the name of the Christian God, it's portrayed like this is one lone crazy person, and there was no village raising the crazy beforehand, insulating him from reality and then defending him or themselves afterwards.

And this is certainly not to say that all religious people are bad, that would be preposterous. But that concession also doesn't make religion... less bad? Less culpable? I mean, how do you even deal with something that runs the gamut from making family reunions slightly awkward, to fostering terrorism and protecting child molesters?

It would be so much simpler if it were pure evil - one of the reasons it took so long to figure out that religion was hurting me, was that every individual I knew in the church was pretty great. But they all shared the same biases and flaws, happily breathing air that was toxic to me. I breathe a lot freer now.

Anyways, this bounced around a bit and got personal. It's also lacking a clear call to action - not just because I think religion cannot be abolished without violating some seriously sacred rights of humanity, but also because I firmly believe that people use religion to fill certain holes in their lives, and will simply find a new dictator if the old one dies. But yeah.

Good job, religion. Thanks for gettin' those darn homosexuals off the streets, they were a problem for... reasons.

Post has attachment
My wife and my doggie. I love them both!

Post has attachment
The bridge about halfway through (and the end) is one of those haunting harmonies I get stuck in my head all day. I love this whole album, despite it being a solo work.

Post has attachment
"Connor, this is not your bed for the night! It is A bed, but..."

/immediately flops with head on my pillow

Best dog.
Wait while more posts are being loaded