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Pamela McLean
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Pamela McLean

commented on a video on YouTube.
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This is feedback by Guy Cowley following a table discussion at a Dadamac event - "Africa-UK Connections  in Practice - New Approaches for 2015" - organised by Nikki Fishman and me
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Pamela McLean

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This is feedback from Esther Ridsdale following a table discussion at a Dadamac event - "Africa-UK Connections  in Practice - New Approaches for 2015" - organised by Nikki Fishman and me
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Pamela McLean

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This is feedback from Caro Hart, following a table discussion at a Dadamac event - "Africa-UK Connections  in Practice - New Approaches for 2015" - organised by Nikki Fishman and me
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Pamela McLean

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just to say that I read it my friend
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Pamela McLean

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Thought provoking. Glad I happened upon this ( I only dip into google+ streams now and again or I'd drown in the them)

This prompted me to consider the labels that have been relevant for me (between me and the generations above and below me) - Mummy, Mum, Mother. There is also an extra label that my children used, which I associate with when they were at secondary school. They called me "Parent", and years later when it came up in conversation my daughter attributed it to the letters home which were to "Dear parent or guardian" - although on reflection now I realise that most of the time they were at secondary school I was the only parent around so it was very appropriate. I also remember my own decision when I was in secondary school to stop calling my parents "Mummy and Daddy" because it seemed babyish.

I'm called Mother and Mum by my "adult offspring". Hmm - what is the word for "children" who are no longer children? What about that expression "my children" - does the "my" have over-possesive connotations? How else can anyone signify this fact of relationship?

I relate differently to the different labels (Mummy, Mum, Mother). When the children were little I was always comfortable signing cards etc. as "Love from Mummy". Perhaps the word "Mummy"  feels the same as a name. Maybe that's because I have spoken it as a name for myself, using it instead of "me" when the children were tiny. ("Give it to Mummy." "Come to Mummy" "Show Mummy" etc).

I never used the words "Mum" or "Mother" in that way and don't have the same feeling about signing those words. Those words feel like a description rather than a signature. I don't "feel like me" if I try to use either of those words in writing a card etc.  I can understand why my mother changed from writing  "Love from.." (when my siblings and I were little and she was "Mummy") to writing "From you loving ...." (when we were adults and she was "Mother"). What I can't remember is if she wrote it "From you loving mother" - using a lower case "m" (i.e as a description - a common noun) or "From you loving Mother" - with a capital "M" (i.e. as her name - a proper noun).

I think Morgan has chosen well. "Daddy" is what she wants to call you. It is her preferred special name for you now. It's a lovely special name for her to bestow on you. She can have permissions to call you whatever special name she chooses to call you. It might be Daddy now, and later it can be any special name she want to make up. It might even become David.

You can tell her that people sometimes have different names at different times and when she is older - in a few days, or months or years - she may want to change her choice - and give you a different name and that will be fine.

The important thing is that whatever special name she chooses to call you (out loud or in her head) she is right to know that she is very special to you. The most important thing is that you will always (to use an expression I learned from a Dutch friend) "be keeping her in a special place in your heart".

I suggest that this question about naming you "Daddy" is about one, or both, of the following.

One, she wants to be like other children she knows who have a daddy, and wants permission to claim that label for you.

Two, this is a recognition of wanting agreement about a specialness of relationship between the two of you. Such a "specialness of relationship" - especially if it is to have any long term stability (or stayability) - should be seen separately from any relationship that she has (or that you have) with anyone else (including either of her biological parents) at present or in future.

I don't really know, but that's how it seems to me.
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(Bother. I have just lost a load of writing - and have no idea how it happened or how to retrieve it.)

I appreciated all of your comment - but explained that I would limit my reply to your new topic.

You stimulated some deep original thinking on the variety of "new" relationships that are growing in "new ground" which is not the ground of previous century social-business relationships - operating in a different mix of "not-work" and "work", a world with different understandings of work and value creation, existing in the "solid world" and the digital/virtual one, where relationships exist online and face-to-face, and include totally new dimensions of public and private, and of time and space.

I won't rewrite it - by writing it (then losing it) I had thought it through in a new way- so thank you for being the catalyst for new insights.

When you do write the article please copy to me. I may not see it on google+.

Maybe we could make it a discussion. If so, maybe we could put it on our old "open letters" space on dadamac as well (or instead) of google+.
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Pamela McLean

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Thanks George for inviting me. I look forward to "learning by doing" in this group to get wiser ref collective wisdom. BTW - regarding the use of this (google+) online space I'm a late adopter. I may need some remedial support in pressing the right buttons, noticing the latest comments, writing in the right boxes, and generally making the most of the facilities available to us here.
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Hi +Robert Best Thanks for asking. I am belatedly starting to explore G+. I'm being encouraged into G+ by my friend +Charley Quinton of +OzoneFarm as we are picking up on some collaborative stuff we were doing a couple of years ago. We used Skype then, but this time around he turned up in my google chat box, and is gradually pulling me into G+ (New techie features - hardware and software - never attract me "because they are there" I usually only get around to using them when I have to i.e. "because the people who I communicate with are there").

As a result I was looking at some google+ stuff yesterday and clicked a few "activate" buttons. (Maybe that's why you contacted me.)

Ref #CICW I had rather forgotten about its online presence until my G+ exploration yesterday - although George Por and his work and ideas are often in my mind, and I do want to get back into discussion with him. Our paths cross now and again, but usually only in a fleeting way. We met first through GlobalNet21 Meetups and I have been to a few of the School of Commoning events - but those aren't the right times and places for exploring the ideas I want to explore with him. This is the right place. Thank you for welcoming me in.
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Pamela McLean

commented on a video on YouTube.
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This is feedback following a table discussion at a Dadamac event - "Africa-UK Connections  in Practice - New Approaches for 2015" - organised by Nikki Fishman and me
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Pamela McLean

commented on a video on YouTube.
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This is feedback following a table discussion at a Dadamac event - "Africa-UK Connections  in Practice - New Approaches for 2015" - organised by Nikki Fishman and me
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Pamela McLean

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Thanks David. Helpful update. Appreciated.
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Pamela McLean

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Inspirational. Vinay's video prompted me to blog  -  "For want of a nail" - Why a stronger Dadamac is urgently needed - http://dadamac.net/blog/20130909/want-nail-why-stronger-dadamac-urgently-needed. The blog is structured around the video and is closely connected to the John Dada's comment  (and the part most appreciated by David Pinto)  BTW - I know these guys - and have been greatly influenced by their various ideas and work - so I'll take this opportunity to publicly express my appreciation. Thanks to all three of you.
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Speaking of #nails, +Vinay Gupta  #NailedIt - "...We're sitting in a house that's on fire deciding what furniture to buy for next year..."
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Pamela McLean

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letting you know I read this david - thanks for sharing it
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thank pam... you have the lightest touch when it comes to listening
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In her circles
170 people
Have her in circles
273 people
Arthur Sempa's profile photo
David Dionys's profile photo
Selasi koffi Ackom's profile photo
Sunil Abraham's profile photo
Marcus Simmons's profile photo
Lauren Fox's profile photo
Scott Kipp's profile photo
Sreelakshmi Haridas's profile photo
Andrew Erbs's profile photo
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