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Rivelino Satya Nugraha
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Rivelino Satya Nugraha

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Ambil barang dulu dul
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Rivelino Satya Nugraha

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Disuatu hari di stasiun Radio di bulan Puasa

Seorang pendengar Radio EaaFM sedang terlibat percakapan via telpon dengan sang penyiar:
Pendengar : Hallo Radio EaaFM??
Penyiar: Betoooll!! dengan siapa niy??
Pendengar: Dengan ryanz nih, boleh request ngga?
Penyiar: Boleh...mau request apaan yanz?
Pendengar: Tolong puterin adzan Maghrib donk!!! udah laper nih!!!

(_nama pendengar bukan nama sebenarnya_)
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hai....
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Rivelino Satya Nugraha

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bwakakakakak
hanif izzuddin originally shared:
 
Harry potter kabur ke indonesa.. dikejar voldemort
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Hahaha.... Luchu...!!!
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Rivelino Satya Nugraha

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Mbah Jo dirawat ndhik rumah sakit. Jare doktere asmane wis kronis, irunge
sampek dipasangi selang.
Wis pirang-pirang dino iki mbah Jo mueneeng ae koyok wong koma, mripate thok sing ketap-ketip.

Dikiro wis wayahe mangkat, anake nyelukno mudhin ben didungakno.
Pas Mudhine enak-enak ndungo, moro-moro Mbah Jo megap-mggap gak isok
ambekan, raine pucet, tangane gemeter.
Nganggo bahasa isyarat mbah Jo nirokno wong nulis.

Anake ngerti maksute, langsung dijupukno kertas ambek pulpen. Ambek
megap-megap, Mbah Jo nulis surat.
Karo siso-siso tenogone Mbah Jo ngekekno surate iku mau nang Pak Mudhine.
Ambek Pak Mudhine kertase iku mau langsung disaki, rasane kok gak tepak moco surat wasiat saiki, pikire Pak Mudhin.
Mari ngesaki surat Pak Mudhin nerusno ndungone.

Gak sui mari ngono mbah Jo mangkat. Akeh wong sing kelangan, soale masio sangar, Mbah Jo iku wonge apikan.

Pas selametan pitung dinane Mbah Jo, Pak Mudhin diundang maneh.
Mari mimpin ndungo, Pak Mudhin lagek iling lek dhe'e nganggo klambi batik
sing digawe pas mbah Jo mangkat.
Lha ndhik sake lak onok titipan surate Mbah Jo tah, waduh selamet iling aku
rek, pikire Pak Mudhin.

"Derek-derek sedoyo, onok surat seko almarhum Mbah Jo sing durung tak
sampekno nang peno kabeh. Lek ndhelok Mbah Jo pas uripe, isine mestine nasehat kanggo anak putune kabeh. Ayok diwoco bareng-bareng isi surate".

Mari ngono pak Mudhin ngerogoh surat ndhik sak’e, bareng diwoco tibak’e munine..

HE.. NGALIO DHIN !!! OJOK NGADHEK NDHIK SELANG OXIGENKU !!!
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sayangnya translate.google.com belom bisa menyadur kalimat di atas..
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Rivelino Satya Nugraha

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Ngentutan


Yuk Jah lungo perikso nang dokter.

"Opo’o sampeyan ning ?'' Jare doktere.

Yuk Jah terus cerito, "Iki lho dok, wis sak wulan iki aku malih ngentutan.
Sak jam isok ping sepuluh aku ngentut. Cumak untunge, entutku iku gak mambu ambek gak onok suorone, dhadhi gak onok sing ngerti. Lha iki pas aku lungguh ndhik ngarepe sampeyan ae wis ping telu aku ngentut. Tapi sampeyan gak ngerti tho, mergo iku mau, entutku gak muni ambek gak mambu. Cumak aku malih gak enak dhewe, mosok arek wedhok ngentutan ".

"Oh, ngono ta.. Lek ngono tebusen resep iki. Seminggu maneh mbaliko rene maneh" jare doktere.

Pas wis seminggu yuk Jah mbalik maneh nang doktere.

"Wis enakan ta ?" takok doktere.

"Aku gak ngerti obat opo sing dokter kekno wingi, cumak entutku saiki kok
ambune malih bosok gak karuan. Sampek kudhu nggeblak aku. Tapi untunge entutku sik tetep gak muni", jare yuk Jah.

"Berarti saiki irung sampeyan wis gak buntu maneh. Saiki tebusen resep iki
yo" jare doktere.

"Obat opo maneh iku pak dokter ?" takok yuk Jah.

"Obat kopok.."
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*Ketawa guling2
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Rivelino Satya Nugraha

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Numpang lewat 
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hmmm....
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Rivelino Satya Nugraha

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Hendra Ardneh originally shared:
 
Hooked on G+ and need a dedicated Windows desktop application? Get it free here http://www.abelssoft.net/gclient.php

(IMPORTANT: This is a 3rd party app, not from Google, so use it at your own risk)
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Rivelino Satya Nugraha

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Smarfren EVDO emang top abis speednya
colek suhu +Mada Master Wu
pancal pleki
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banjarbaru bisa lah rom ?
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Rivelino Satya Nugraha

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ARGO WILIS JAKARTA - SUROBOYO

Onok wong papat podho gak kenale numpak sepur Argowilis jurusan Suroboyo Bandung.

Sing pertama ibu-ibu umure sekitar 60an. Ketok’ane termasuk keluarga ningrat lek ndhelok pacak’ane.

Sebelahe ibu-ibu iku onok cewek ayu koyok covergirl majalah, umure sekitar
20an.

Ndhik ngarepe ibu-ibu iku mau onok tentara berseragam dinas, lengkap karo
tanda jasane. Pokoke berwibawa, umure 50an.

Sebelahe tentara mau onok arek lanang gondrong umure 25an. Ketok’ane
rocker.

Selama perjalanan, wong papat iku ngobrol macem-macem.
Sampek moro-moro sepure mlebu terowongan athik lampune mati, dhadhi
petengan pol. Wong papat iku malih meneng kabeh.

Gak sui moro-moro onok suoro pipi disun terus mari ngono suorone wong
dikaplok PLAK..!!!.
Wis mari ngono sepi maneh.

Sing ibu-ibu iku mau mbatin," Wah hebat arek wedhok sebelahku iki, isok
menjaga harga diri, gak gelem diperlakukan sembarangan".

Sing arek wedhok sebelae yo mbatin pisan,"Gak salah ta sing ngesun mau
iku, wong onok arek ayu koyok aku kok malah nenek-nenek tuwek sing disun".

Lha sing tentara iku ambek ngusap-ngusap pipine sing kenek kaplok melok
mbatin pisan,"Jangkrik, gak melok ngesun tapi kenek kaplok. Dikiro aku
pengecut ta, lek aku gelem gak usah ngenteni peteng. Wah tersinggung aku".

Arek rocker iku karo ngempet ngguyu melok mbatin pisan,"Kapan maneh rek,
isok ngaplok kolonel gathik konangan. Padahal sing tak sun mau iku tanganku dhewe".
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Gebleg ik..
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Rivelino Satya Nugraha

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saatnya menyerang balik dengan humor suroboyoan cak
cekidot
lek gak guyu mesti gak waras :p


1 -Salesman

Kapanane onok Salesman Vaccum Cleaner teko ndik omahku.

Ewangku sik durung sempat ngomong opo-opo moro-moro salesman iku mau langsung nyebarno tembelek wedhus ndhik karpet.

Jarene ngene ''Wis pokok’e Buk, lek sampek vaccum cleanerku iki gak isok nyedot, tak jamin tak emploke sithok-sithok tembeleke wedhus iku."

Jare ewangku "Peno kepingin didhulit sambel ta ngemploke ?".

"Lho opok’o masalae ?'' salesmane takok.

"Lha peno gak ndhelok ta lek saiki lampu mati ..."
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oh iyo lali aku pri...
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