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Tom H
Works at Employer Name Not Listed
Attended College
Lives in NC
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Tom H

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Well crap. I knew Kylie Jenner shared the same birthday month and day with me, but I just found out I was born the same day as Honey Boo Boo's mom. 
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At least I thought about ya ;-)
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Earlier in the episode I said she had to go. But damn.... That was something else.
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So true!
 
Things I want my users to know.....did I miss anything?

1. If you ask me technical questions please don’t argue with me because you don’t like my answer. If you think you know more about the topic, why ask? And if I’m arguing with you…it’s because I am positive that I am correct, otherwise I’d just say “I don’t know” or give you some tips on where to look it up, I don’t have the time to just argue for the sake of it.
2. Starting a conversation by insulting yourself (i.e. “I’m such an idiot”) will not make me laugh, or feel sorry for you, trust me you don’t want to start a support issue that way.
3. I am ok with you making mistakes, fixing them is my job. I am not ok with you lying to me about a mistake you made. It makes it much harder to resolve and thus makes my job more difficult. Be honest and we can get the problem resolved and continue on with our business. I'll find out that you dumped your entire cup of coffee in your keyboard one way or another. Just tell me everything up front. It will save both of us a lot of time.
4. There is no magic “Fix it” button. Everything takes some amount of work to fix, and not everything is worth fixing or even possible to fix. If I say that you just need to re-do a document that you accidentally deleted 2 months ago, please don’t get mad at me. I’m not ignoring your problem, and it’s not that I don’t like you; I just can’t always fix everything.
5. Not everything you ask me to do is “urgent”. In fact, by marking things as “urgent” every time, you almost ensure that I treat none of it as a priority.
6. You are not the only one who needs help, and you usually don’t have the most urgent issue. Give me some time to get to your problem, it will get fixed.
7. Emailing me several times on the IT Help Desk about the same issue in the same day is not only unnecessary, it’s highly annoying. Emails on the IT Help Desk will stay until I delete them, I won’t delete them until I’m done with them. I will typically respond as soon as I have a useful update. If it is an urgent issue, let me know (see number 5).
8. Yes, I prefer IT Help Desk requests over telephone calls. It has nothing to do with being friendly, it’s about efficiency. It is much faster and easier for me to list out a set of questions that I need you to answer than it is for me to call and ask you them one by one. You can find the answers at your leisure and while I’m waiting I can work on other problems.
9. Please be descriptive when you send in a Helpdesk ticket. You don't have to be overly technical but you do have to use a little common sense. I can't help you if you only say your "system" is "down", as I have no clue what you're talking about with so little information. But if you tell me that you get an error message every time you try to open your email, then I can immediately begin working. Especially if you tell me what the error message actually says instead of simply writing that "I got an error" and having me guess.
10. When I respond to your ticket with a question, it's because I need to know more to help you, not because I like playing 20 questions.  And, if you ignore me, I can't help you. Responding with "I just want it to work" is not going to help.
11. Don't submit a ticket and then page me to make sure I got it, the system works, trust me. If it doesn't I will let you know by posting an announcement on the company Intra-site with big bold letters.
12. Yes, I can read your email, I can see what web pages you look at while you are at work, yes, I can access every file on your work computer, and I can tell if you are chatting with people on an instant messenger or chat room (and can also read what you are typing). But no, I don’t do it. It’s unethical, I’m busy, and in all reality you aren’t all that interesting. So unless I am instructed to specifically monitor or investigate your actions, I don’t. 
13. It is really tough, borderline impossible, to fix issues that I don't know about. Don’t complain about it behind my back. I don't like hearing about things through the grapevine.
14. Just because I am walking by it doesn't mean I am twiddling my thumbs, looking for something to do -- more often than not, I am on my way to do something. In fact, I usually will forget what you tell me fixing whatever I am on my way to work on......
15. Contrary to belief, I do not store the Library of Congress worth of error codes from all software known to man in my brain. So when you ask me "What does that mean?", be content that I will do my best to find out why.
16. Read my E-mails and posts 
17. Never start your complaints with "Ever since you ... [fill in the blank]". Your statement has about a 99% chance of being completely unrelated. "Ever since you changed my monitor, I can't print anymore" - makes perfect sense, right? ;)
18. Please do not tell me that one of your relatives that work in IT told you what the problem was. Every environment is different.
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Tom H

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Some 12 years and about 2750 miles from here I bought these. I've driven at least 150,000 miles with you and have seen so many things. May you rest in peace. +Ray-Ban

On the flip side, time to buy a new pair of +Ray-Bans cause they are awesome!
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Thank you. Life just won't be the same anymore.
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That's how my users fix issues. Then they expect me to buy a new one since I can't do anything with it.
 
This is really the only permanent solution for some users.

#ITguyproblems  
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"23 Ways To Make Whiskey Part Of Every Meal" http://feedly.com/e/W2r4p8nz
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Stupid toothbrush. I blame you for my need to sit in this chair and be poked again.
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Ugh...I hate that!! 
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A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"

The man below says: "Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."

"You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist.

"I do" replies the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but It's of no use to anyone."

The man below replies, "You must work in management."

"I do," replies the balloonist, "But how'd you know?"*

"Well", says the man, "you don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault."
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These are close but not the same.
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Nice ;) 
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Story
Tagline
I don't have an interesting life so I don't post much, but when I do I post interesting stuff. Lack of preparation on your part is not an emergency on my part. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson!
Education
  • College
    AAS Information Technology
Basic Information
Gender
Male
Looking for
Friends, Networking
Work
Occupation
Managing Director IT Operations, Service, and Support
Skills
I can type with all eight fingers and two thumbs!
Employment
  • Employer Name Not Listed
    IT Support, 2003 - present
  • USMC
    Corporal, 1997 - 2002
  • Mickey D's
    Burger Flipper, 1996 - 1997
Places
Map of the places this user has livedMap of the places this user has livedMap of the places this user has lived
Currently
NC
Previously
Henoko Okinawa Japan - 29 Palms California - Honolulu Hawaii - Adak Alaska
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