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Epiphora
1,036 followers -
Creator of HeyEpiphora.com, where sex toys go to be judged
Creator of HeyEpiphora.com, where sex toys go to be judged

1,036 followers
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Epiphora's posts

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Today on my blog: a grand tour of my majestic sex toy closet! Step inside, experience its wonders.

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So thrilled to have guest reviewer +Zinnia Jones on my blog writing about her experience with hormone therapy, masturbation, and wand vibrators! "The original Magic Wand had taken me pretty far," she writes, "but this is the one that really went the distance."

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It's a let-down, but not in the "my clit is screaming" way. Not in the "orgasm seems like an impassable river" way, or even in the "these vibrations feel like death" way. But in the manageably sad way, like your car stereo breaking right before a big road trip. Not apocalyptic, but less than ideal. I expected to love this vibrator, but you know what happens when your hopes are high: they get dashed. 

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🍾 POP THE CHAMPAGNE my snark-laden list of the best and worst sex toys of the year is HERE! 

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Eva is a bizarre vulva-adorning vibrator which tries to keep your vagina accessible. You know, so objects can slide into it. Or fly into it. Or plop into it. Whatever. I don't know how you have sex. It does this because, ostensibly, all cis women are straight and all toys they use use during partnered sex must not get in the way of The Penis or The Man Body...

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When the +We-Vibe Rave arrived in the mail, it was the fastest box-to-clit progression potentially ever. I immediately took the vibrator out of its packaging, turned it on, unbuttoned my pants, and pressed it against my clit in a blurry-eyed haze.

"Yes." The word blossomed in my mind like food coloring in water. "Yes, holy shit, it's as good as I'd hoped."

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This is the kind of sex toy that inspires hope in people. They hold it in their hands and start believing in miracles. "Ah, here it is, finally: G-spot pleasure, the likes of which I’ve never known, and simultaneous clitoral stimulation!"

Never before have I felt so compelled to abruptly slap the toy out of their hands and implore them not to waste their money.

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Mission: put my favorite sex toys in the hands of folks who deserve them. Result: this HUGE giveaway.

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New post! I answer questions about sex toy lint removal, pooping before using anal toys, how to use wands without feeling like you're stirring a pot of soup, and the worst reviews I've ever written!

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I was so thirsty for a vibrator like this. The +L'Amourose Prism V is fully-featured and well-rounded; it supplies reliable pleasure without protest — and it's only $99.
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