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Steven Novak
I make stuff.
I make stuff.

Steven Novak's posts

Turns out I missed Vasectomy Day in October. Such a shame. I had so many vasectomy related activities planned for me and my vasectomy buddies.

I've made no effort to seek out those hacked nudie pics. I don't care. I'm damn near forty. "Naked" no longer serves a purpose. I'm far more interested in sandwiches. Turkey. Lettuce. Provolone. A little bacon when I'm feeling frisky. Give me a ring when Jennifer Lawrence starts delivering sandwiches.

Gah. Just realized I only a few months to finish writing this book. Double Gah. Triple Gah, because this is worthy of one more Gah.

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Last night we had dinner at one of those restaurants where you can write on the table. 

My wife is a jerk.

"Which Paypal address do you want me to send the payment to?"

"Doesn't matter. Either way it ends up in my wife's purse."

I was just being honest.

I have to collect some of my cat's urine for the vet. Yep, this is what I'm doing with my life. I'm concocting diabolical schemes to collect cat pee. This is what it's all been leading to.

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It's probably time to clean my drawing desk. Sigh. I'm such a scumbag. 

I'm really dragging today, barely keep my eyes open. I saw a pizza commercial last night and I wanted to punch everyone in it. I wanted to punch them, stab them, steal their pizza, climb into a dark closet and eat until I exploded. I wanted to burn down Papa Johns and dance in the flames. I wanted to lather myself in sauce and run through the streets naked, waving the severed heads of his family and friends like sparklers on the fourth of July.

This diet is not agreeing with me.

Post has attachment Hey! Bloodboots available sooner than expected! If you have some free time, give it a read. It's a short story, and it's cheap, it's gross, and you get to learn more than you ever wanted about the "villain" from Megan. 

Did I mention it was cheap? 

Because it's only $0.99.

Which is pretty cheap.

Trying to drop a few pounds and get back in shape and because of that Almond Butter has found it's way into my belly. My belly doesn't know what to make of Almond butter. It is uncomfortable with Almond Butter's presence.
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