It's been a weekend of highs and lows all round. On Saturday had a brilliant trip down to London with mum and dad and my auntie to see David Suchet in The Importance of Being Earnest - superb show, great performance and a lovely trip all round. Was a bit worried that I'd get panicked travelling or being in the crowded theater away from my comfort zone but I loved all of it, was relaxed and happy. Sunday similarly nice and chilled, probably the best weekend I've had in months.
Today, on the other hand, has been a bit crashingly rough. Work is frantic at the moment with piles of work coming in as the college term starts this week and everybody is doing thousands of pages of printing at the last minute, having completely failed to prepare.
The pay rise details for this year then came through, and I found out that because I'm on a minimum wage contract I don't get the little "progression" boost of a percent or two which is usually afforded to college staff on the low end of the wage scale, above and beyond the 1-2% base increase, to help them do a little better than they would otherwise. It would only be a tiny amount of money, maybe £20-£30 a month, but it really makes me feel like I'm the lowest possible speck on the priorities here to be so low paid I don't even get the bit of help for being low paid :/
I also concluded this morning that the soreness in my right hand side in the region of my lump is something I need to get the doctor to take a look at. Had been dismissing it as just another part of the anxiety-related muscle soreness and stiffness I've been having, but that has now receded and this hasn't, indeed it's gotten a bit worse. Almost feels like the lump's rubbing on something under the skin, which probably means it's going to have to come out, which I'm not happy about, still have a bit of a surgery/medical phobia. Have booked the doctor's appointment and going to see if we can work on the phobia in therapy tomorrow. Got me feeling quite a bit lower though.
On the plus side, it's all made me quite sad and a bit angry but not anxious, which is definitely progress. Going to take good care of myself tonight, have something nice for dinner and do some yoga, see what comes.
This fucking year though, seriously :(