It's been a weekend of highs and lows all round. On Saturday had a brilliant trip down to London with mum and dad and my auntie to see David Suchet in The Importance of Being Earnest - superb show, great performance and a lovely trip all round. Was a bit worried that I'd get panicked travelling or being in the crowded theater away from my comfort zone but I loved all of it, was relaxed and happy. Sunday similarly nice and chilled, probably the best weekend I've had in months.
Today, on the other hand, has been a bit crashingly rough. Work is frantic at the moment with piles of work coming in as the college term starts this week and everybody is doing thousands of pages of printing at the last minute, having completely failed to prepare.
The pay rise details for this year then came through, and I found out that because I'm on a minimum wage contract I don't get the little "progression" boost of a percent or two which is usually afforded to college staff on the low end of the wage scale, above and beyond the 1-2% base increase, to help them do a little better than they would otherwise. It would only be a tiny amount of money, maybe £20-£30 a month, but it really makes me feel like I'm the lowest possible speck on the priorities here to be so low paid I don't even get the bit of help for being low paid :/
I also concluded this morning that the soreness in my right hand side in the region of my lump is something I need to get the doctor to take a look at. Had been dismissing it as just another part of the anxiety-related muscle soreness and stiffness I've been having, but that has now receded and this hasn't, indeed it's gotten a bit worse. Almost feels like the lump's rubbing on something under the skin, which probably means it's going to have to come out, which I'm not happy about, still have a bit of a surgery/medical phobia. Have booked the doctor's appointment and going to see if we can work on the phobia in therapy tomorrow. Got me feeling quite a bit lower though.
On the plus side, it's all made me quite sad and a bit angry but not anxious, which is definitely progress. Going to take good care of myself tonight, have something nice for dinner and do some yoga, see what comes.
This fucking year though, seriously :(
I'm still having little random spikes of anxiety from time to time but I feel like I have the tools to deal with them now and they're a lot less scary, they soon pass once I get to the root and really breathe and work through them.
Still doing lots of yoga from videos and class on Thursday night, still loving it - great for head and body :) Unfortunately I'm having to take a bit of a break from swimming as muscle soreness in my chest just isn't shifting; had a quite gentle session on Sunday morning but ended up aching painfully and even today it's not fully eased off; problem is I don't seem to be able to tell while I'm swimming now hard I've worked the muscles until it's too late. Going to give it a few more days and just do yoga, work around the area apart from gentle stretches.
You're probably aware that since the Leave vote there has been a huge spike in hate crimes and racist attacks - basically a lot of racist arseholes have taken it as an endorsement of their point of view and it's given them courage to act. The police have reported a 57% increase in hate crimes over the last week.
The #SafetyPin idea is simple and, I think, beautiful: Wear an empty (but closed, obviously) safety pin somewhere on your clothing to indicate that you are a safe person for foreign-born folks to talk to, to walk with, sit next to on a bus. It doesn't mean you have to be a hero, and it doesn't say anything about how you voted or even your stance on immigration; it just means that you reject violence and hatred, and support those who are victims.
This thing does not by any means represent all of us here - many of us still believe in unity, openness, and the values that really made Britain great, like celebrating all the wonderful contributions to this country from a thousand different races and cultures.
We are not afraid, we do not hate those who are different, we welcome your richness into our cultural diversity, and we are happy to share from our wealth to alleviate your suffering, without counting the cost. And we will continue to welcome, and share, and love, despite what some of our neighbours may believe and say.
- Writer, geek, web designer, present
I'm a former IT technician, security guard, cleaner, railway ticket inspector, graduate in Psychology and Art History, and a geek, foodie, philosopher, web designer, shaman and writer. So far. I'm from Bedford, England and I'm 29.
At the start of 2007 I decided to sell or give away everything I owned and travel round the world for an indefinite period of time with just a backpack and a craving for adventure.
I hitch-hiked across two thirds of Canada and the United States and a good chunk of Mexico, appeared in a rodeo, saw a killer whale from a tiny fishing boat, camped in the Black Rock Desert with seventy-five thousand people for a week (twice), spent forty-eight hours straight on a Greyhound bus, saw Bob Dylan perform live in Texas, toured NASA, ate alligator in New Orleans, celebrated Thanksgiving on a ranch, studied yoga in Vegas, and lived in San Francisco for nine months while working as a cleaner by day and a bouncer by night.
I'm currently working as a freelance web designer, but I'll shortly be retraining as a life coach!
- Northampton University
- Bedford College