I have trouble breathing.
I have always had trouble breathing. I was confused when my cross-country coach tried to teach me to breathe in through my nose and out through my mouth because clearly no one could possibly get enough air that way. Who was he kidding?
The doctor recommended I not fix it with surgery while I was still growing, so I decided not to go ahead with surgery. Later in college I reconsidered and opted out of surgery again. Later in my mid-twenties I reconsidered again and again opted out. Each time I convinced myself that I had always lived with the problem, I was used to it, it wasn't so bad, surgery is risky.
I have a deviated septum mostly closing one side of my nose. I have a spur mostly closing the other side. I have swollen turbinates which are occasionally not inflamed - on those occasions breathing through my nose feels incredibly strange, as torrents of air rush through my nasal passages, actually irritating them. The poor passages aren't used to that kind of breathing. It's not even regular breathing like other folks experience, because when the turbinates are dormant I still have severely reduced airflow due to the deviation and spur on my septum.
But I've always had that. I'm used to it.
Recently my brother +Peter Srinivasan
had surgery to try to correct long-standing pain. Pain that no one else had, but hey, he was used to it. That's just how bodies work, right? No point complaining to everyone over oh f*ck that hurts.
But I'm not in pain. I'm just uncomfortable. And I have a workaround. Breathing through my mouth totally works. And sometimes I can breathe through my nose, it just makes a bunch of noise. Which aggravates my wife +Samantha McCormick
. Not a perfect workaround, but it's something. So it's all okay, right?
Of course, the Entire Internet tells me that my sleep quality is probably reduced by this problem. But I'm certain it can't be by much, I would notice if my sleep was significantly worse than average. Surely "I only woke up four times last night that I can remember so I'd say I slept really, really well" isn't much worse than average.
September 4th is my surgery date. I look forward to breathing while eating with my mouth closed.