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Renee Crowdersmith
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I once stole a taxidermied fish off someone's wall. Because my husband said, "Here, put this guy in your purse." This happened. I put it in my purse.
I once stole a taxidermied fish off someone's wall. Because my husband said, "Here, put this guy in your purse." This happened. I put it in my purse.

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I think I'm going to do it.
So...I'm a chicken.  I started this blog, and I love it, and it makes me happy.  I've learned that I really enjoy writing, even if it's only the mindless drivel that is constantly running through my head.  I've also learned that it is a pain in the ass to b...

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This isn't a post. It's just a long, shouty whine.
I am so ANGRY. I don't even know how to convey the depth of my irritation here. deep breath So, you may know that I recently had to stop eating meat, so I wouldn't die. I did that.  I did good.  No bacon, no burgers, no ham, no steak, NO DELICIOUS FUCKING...

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This isn't a post. It's just a long, shouty whine.
I am so ANGRY. I don't even know how to convey the depth of my irritation here. deep breath So, you may know that I recently had to stop eating meat, so I wouldn't die. I did that.  I did good.  No bacon, no burgers, no ham, no steak, NO DELICIOUS FUCKING...

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Kids? Tyrants? Gremlins? You decide.
My children have got the crazy-making thing down.   I mean, they are professionals.  Little ornery agents of chaos, stalking me everywhere I go.  (Seriously.  Everywhere.)  I have compiled a list of some of the random shit my children have come up with in t...

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Snakes. I don't like them.
If you don't live in the middle of nowhere, you may not be aware that deer and other wildlife have trails; certain paths that they follow, to water or possibly gatherings where they plot my demise. I am beginning to think snakes also have trails, and that m...

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I feel like I should warn you...
Not really.  My Grandma feels like I should warn you.  I am just not that kind of person. Here's the deal.  I live waaaaay out in the woods.  My best friend, who's been coming here since second grade, still gets lost.  My husband draws maps for people we li...

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The Speakeasy #133 - Trick or....treat?
I pulled the door shut behind me and repeated, "Remember!  Don't eat any candy until I check it out!”  The kids were too excited to talk back and skipped down the street ahead of me.  I followed more slowly, making sure I had the flashlight and my cell phon...

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If you need me, I'll be in my shell.
I feel like this turtle today.  Except some slightly drunk people in canoes helped this guy out, and so far today I'm not seeing any drunk people.  Or canoes.  Dammit.  Where is karma when you need that bitch?

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What? It still kind of seems like a good idea.
Conversation with Gus about glue traps: *It might be helpful to know that the glue trap in question here is stuck facedown on my porch with a dead snake presumably still stuck on the other side.  Long story.  Suffice to say, I don't like snakes in the house...

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It's a disinfectant kind of day.
It's not even noon and I've been covered in a small human's urine twice already. This is motherhood, people.  Think on it. I've got to go clean up after my cat, who has apparently decided that her litter box may only be used one time before she has to go in...
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