But this day wasn't about Kathy, or the Varanos, or even their totally radically amazingly awesome son Mike. This day was about the even more dope, more awesome, more [adjective i can't think of cause it's early] person named (who I still have in my phone as Paige Lillian. Thought that was a fun little nugget for you guys). On that fateful day in the last millennium a person was born into this world who would shape and change it in a way no one had yet been able to accomplish (except, you know, The Wright Brothers. The guy who invented the wheel. Jesus. And that awesome kid Mike we were talking about before)
Paige was actually the first recorded robot to be born of a human being. Unlike her human counterparts, she is indestructible. This we all know. Don't tell the government though cause they're gonna try to clone her or turn her into Iron Man or something. Which now sounds awesome after typing it so let's get that done as soon as possible.
She was also the first robot to perform duties as my shrink. Most people know I have a few too many screws loose. But Paige is the screwdriver to my loose screws. I always feel like I have to pay her for listening to me complain about my stupid problems, but I'm really glad she hasn't sent me a bill yet. I would be beyond broke. I have no idea how much shrinks cost per hour. I'm gonna make a guess and then look it up. I'm saying $20 an hour. (WTF IT'S LIKE $100-$150. I hope they don't mean per session http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080117085151AACrZx5. Here's to hoping I don't go crazy during my life time. Yet). Anyway, just so everyone knows I owe Paige like $40,000. If i wake up one day with my legs broken I'm starting with her.
To sum it all up, Paige is the best. I love her to death and wouldn't be the same person I am without her (which, depending on who you ask, may be a good or a bad thing. Jury's still out on that one). I know I'm not the only one who feels this way. So here's to you Paige. Live it up, homie.
- University of MichiganComputer Science Engineering, 2008 - present
- Renaissance High School2004 - 2008
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