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Dallin H. Oaks
Works at The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints
Attended Brigham Young University
Lives in Salt Lake City, UT
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Dallin H. Oaks

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Last month I quoted a single woman’s frustrations with LDS men who do not seek out the many “capable, beautiful LDS women for good men to choose from.” Predictably, some men responded. I quote wisdom extracted from the letter of one of them.
 
“There are always two sides to an issue. …
 
“I prefer the quote from another sister who observed that if the sisters would treat these [suffering] men like kings, they’ll rise to take the crown. …
 
“A branch president said, ‘Some of you don’t have room in your lives for a man.’ …
 
“Many men are in love with coming and going as they please, and the women are in love with their careers. …
 
“Both genders have been seduced by the doctrine of self-fulfillment. …
 
“The hardest word for singles is surrender.”
 
As I said last month, my young friends, from personal experience, I promise you that the sweetness of marriage and family life is a wonderful gift that should be sought after and not delayed. I encourage you to prayerfully consider what you are doing to work toward this worthy goal.
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Dallin H. Oaks

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I recently spoke to single adults about the importance of dating activities that can lead to marriage, rather than simply “hanging out.” In the days after that talk, I heard from one woman who told how frustrating it can be to desire marriage, while the men around her are more inclined to just want to socialize. These words she shared struck me.
“I want you to know there are a lot of capable, beautiful LDS women for good men to choose from. There are a lot of capable, hard-working, and kind LDS men to do the choosing. But in my 10+ years of young single adult experience and the beginning of my mid-singles experience, there is still a lot of fear, doubt, and childishness which is manifested [by eligible men].
“I recently watched a version of Peter Pan where Wendy is asking Peter to enter a realm of adulthood through feeling love. Peter gets upset and resists by saying: 'I always want to be a little boy and to have fun!' And it’s true. I see that same sort of resistance from our men every day."
My single friends, from personal experience I promise you that the sweetness of marriage and family life is a wonderful gift that should be sought after and not delayed. I encourage you to prayerfully consider what you are doing to work toward this worthy goal.
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Dallin H. Oaks

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Christmas challenges us to look beyond ourselves to find ways to serve others. It is especially important that we help our children understand this. Yesterday, my grandchildren performed for others at Primary Children’s Hospital. The Lord has blessed each of us with talents and time that we can use to serve one another. I hope that this year, you and your families will find some way to lighten another’s burden and share the Light of Christ.
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Dallin H. Oaks

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"Though we may disagree, we should not be disagreeable." 
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Dallin H. Oaks

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Today, September 25, I am thinking of my father, Lloyd E. Oaks, who was born on this day in 1902. I was not yet 8 years old when he died, but his influence lives on for me and his descendants, now totaling 140.

During his short life of less than 38 years, my father lived through tremendous contrasts and transitions. Like generations of his predecessors, he was born in a log cabin on the pioneer frontier. Like most in the generations to follow, he died in a great city in a modern hospital with every medical convenience.

In his childhood, my father ran barefoot with friends on his family's homestead near an Indian reservation west of Vernal, Utah. As a young doctor in his thirties, he and my mother socialized with the medical elite in Vienna, Austria, and Cairo, Egypt.

My father never saw a train during the first half of his life. In the second half he traveled on a steamship to Europe and on a commercial flight over the deserts of Egypt and Palestine.

When he was a child, his large family (16 children) was so poor that neighbors once brought in food so the children could have a Christmas meal and the family could survive the winter. As a medical doctor during the Great Depression, he gave needed care to many who could not afford his services.

The contrasts and transitions my father experienced in his life were kind to him in many ways: a pioneer child developed into an esteemed and well-traveled young medical doctor. But in the end, one vital transition came too late. He died in 1940 of a disease (tuberculosis) for which medical science did not develop an effective treatment until a few years after his death.

Thanks to the gospel of Jesus Christ, I know I will see my father again. Families are forever.
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Dallin H. Oaks

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This map that hangs in my office is one of my most prized possessions. It details all of the missions that my wife, Kristen, my children, spouses of my children, and my grandchildren have served. It even lists the time Sister Oaks and I spent in the Philippines when I was the area president there from 2002 to 2004.

For me, this map represents faith in the Lord, love of fellowman, and a family which has answered the call to serve. How grateful I am for my family and for all families whose members have made decisions to put their personal lives on hold and testify to the world of Jesus Christ.
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"Perhaps the most familiar and most important examples of unselfish service and sacrifice are performed in our families. Mothers devote themselves to the bearing and nurturing of their children. Husbands give themselves to supporting their wives and children. The sacrifices involved in the eternally important service to our families are too numerous to mention and too familiar to need mention." http://bit.ly/XFRzxf
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Young single adults are a precious and vulnerable group in our Church, whom we love and cherish. Sunday evening Kristen and I spoke to 1,518 of them in the Salt Lake Bonneville YSA Stake, gathered in the institute building at the University of Utah.
We spoke about the importance of a perspective that includes our eternal destination, keeping the commandments, avoiding bondage to addictions and false ideas, and balancing the inevitable flow of worldly values with a regular diet of spiritual nourishment.
I repeated my usual message discouraging “hanging out” and encouraging dating activities that can lead to marriage.
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I recently spoke about how, as followers of Christ, we should live peacefully with others who do not share our values or accept the teachings upon which they are based. Following the Savior’s example, we can show loving-kindness and still be firm in the truth by forgoing actions that facilitate or seem to condone what we know to be wrong.
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Dallin H. Oaks

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"Loving-kindness is required, but a follower of Christ—just like the Master—will be firm in the truth."
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Here I am enjoying the picture of our youngest grandchild, 7-year-old Matthew, who lives hundreds of miles away from me. He is the “grandchild of the month.” 

For many years I have chosen a “grandchild of the month,” putting his or her picture in a special frame in my office to be seen by all who come there. I also write them a letter, telling them how much I miss them and love them, and sometimes adding a few words of counsel. I do this until my grandchildren graduate from high school.

Kristen and I consider our 29 grandchildren to be special gifts from our Heavenly Father. Even though we can’t see them as much as we wish, we do all we can to stay close to each one. We have a family relationship that will last forever.
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A marriage, like a human life, is a precious, living thing.
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2,686 people
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Sheryl Groneman's profile photo
Kelsie Morgan's profile photo
Dennis Leavitt's profile photo
Andy Zelda CasaMota's profile photo
Cortland Honn's profile photo
Work
Employment
  • The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints
    Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, 1984 - present
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Currently
Salt Lake City, UT
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Quorum of the Twelve Apostles
Introduction

Elder Dallin H. Oaks has served as a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints since May 1984.

He is a native of Provo, Utah (born on August 12, 1932). He and his late wife, June Dixon Oaks, are the parents of six children. She died July 21, 1998. On August 25, 2000, he married Kristen M. McMain in the Salt Lake Temple.

Elder Oaks is a graduate of Brigham Young University (1954) and of the University of Chicago Law School (1957). He practiced law and taught law in Chicago. He was president of Brigham Young University from 1971 to 1980 and a justice of the Utah Supreme Court from 1980 until his resignation in 1984 to accept his calling to the apostleship.

He has been an officer or member of the board of many business, educational, and charitable organizations. He is the author or co-author of many books and articles on religious and legal subjects. In May, 2013, the Becket Fund for Religious Liberty awarded him the Canterbury Medal for “courage in the defense of religious liberty.”

Education
  • Brigham Young University
    1954
  • University of Chicago Law School
    1957
Basic Information
Gender
Male
Birthday
August 12, 1932