Don't worry. The kids are safe. The thermometer has been contained.
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- I had a medical puke try to admonish me for eating too much tuna fish because I had elevated levels of mercury in my blood during a Base Line Physical. I explained to this jerk that I didn't eat tuna fish because every time I smelled an open can of tuna it reminded me of a very unpleasant experience involving a tuna fish cannery and all the rotting fish smell that went along with that.
Once the medical dept got off their high horse and investigated my medical history, they discovered that the elevated mercury levels in my blood was from all the vaccines and shots I had to have to go overseas! The preservative in the vaccines back then was mercury based, not a problem every once in a while for a vaccine, but with the overseas battery of shots I had to have, my mercury levels pegged out the test results! But I'm much better now.... heheheheh...Dec 4, 2012
- This applies here.
The Death of Common Sense
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
Why the early bird gets the worm;
Life isn't always fair,
and maybe it was my fault.
Common sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don’t spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults are in charge not children).
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of an 8 year old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate, teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch, and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student, but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses, and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common sense finally gave up the will to live, after a women failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common sense was preceded in death, by
His parents, truth and trust
His wife, discretion
His daughter, Responsibility
His son, reason.
He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers
I know my rights
I want my rights
I want it now
I’m a victim.
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.Dec 4, 2012
- I'm stealing that. Is there actual attribution?Dec 4, 2012
- It is on the WWW in about 400 different versions so I figure it is fair game for all.Dec 4, 2012
- Sweet!Dec 4, 2012
- Lorri M+4I broke a mercury thermometer in my kitchen once and couldn't clean up the tiny spill to save my life. Nothing would absorb it and every time I tried, I simply created more and smaller beads. I finally broke down and called poison control with visions of a hazmat team descending on my house and being televised on the evening news only to learn that it's not a big deal. I was advised to get a credit card, round up all of the little balls and turn them back into one and then herd it onto something flat and put it in the trash. It was quite the adventure.Dec 4, 2012
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