Are you in a relationship that started as a “whirlwind romance” but now feels like you are being suffocated by your partner’s love? Are you concerned about a friend or family member who has become so wrapped up in their new relationship that they don’t have time for anything or anyone else? Would you know the difference between a healthy romance and an abusive relationship? You may be surprised by reading the following 10 symptoms of an abusive relationship:
1-PUSHES FOR QUICK INVOLVEMENT: Comes on strong – pressuring the new partner for an exclusive commitment almost immediately. Commonly known as a “Whirlwind Romance”.
2- JEALOUS: Calls constantly or visits unexpectedly; prevents you from going to work or class, checks the mileage on your car, your emails or your cellphone history.
3- CONTROLLING: Interrogates you intensively about whom you talked to and where you were- especially if you are late; insists you ask permission or “check-in” to go anywhere or do anything.
4- UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS: Expects you to be the perfect mate and meet his or her every need.
5- ISOLATION: Tries to isolate you from family and friends; accuses people who are your supporters of "causing trouble" or “not wanting you to be happy”. He/ she may take or hide your phone or car keys. They may also try to get you fired.
6- BLAMES OTHERS FOR PROBLEMS OR MISTAKES: It's always someone else's fault if something goes wrong- especially yours.
7- DOES NOT TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR HIS OR HER FEELINGS: May say things like, "Why do you make me angry" instead of "I am angry," or says, "You're hurting my feelings by not doing what I tell you."
8- "PLAYFUL" USE OF FORCE DURING SEX: Enjoys throwing you down or holding you down against your will during sex; finds the idea of rape exciting. May also say things like “Rape only happens between strangers.”
9- VERBAL ABUSE: Constantly criticizes or says mean and cruel things; talks down to you says things like “If you were smarter…” or “If you weren’t so ugly…”, curses, calls you ugly names. May also wake you up with verbal abuse and keep you up all night trying to “reason with you”.
10- THREATS OF VIOLENCE OR CRUELTY TO ANIMALS OR CHILDREN: Says things like, "I'll kill you” and then dismisses it by saying “I didn’t mean it”. Is extreme in punishing animals or children, especially for normal things like beating a child for crying when they get hurt or scared.
THERE IS HELP: Contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-7233 or www.thehotline.org