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Breakfast With the Beak
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podcast

9 followers
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It's the end of our show, and the beginning of everything! We're telling the story of the star stuff that makes up all of us, the generations of stars where those atoms were forged, and the pile of hot rocks that we ended up calling home. And we get in a few last shots at organized religion, proprietary hardware, and terrible rap names. We were trying to be positive, but the rest of the world wasn't making it easy.

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It's our penultimate episode, so we're cleaning house! That means going through every topic left on the list and giving each of them the 8 to 12 seconds of attention they deserve. And why stop there? We're also revealing the contents of our top-secret emergency topics list, reviewing all 156 previous episodes, and - against our better judgment! - reviving a couple recurring characters. Everything we haven't gotten around to doing yet, we do! You're welcome.

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Hey, remember Strong Bad? If you do, have we got the show for you! If you don't, you're going to learn a lot today. We're taking a voyage through internet history to a time when Homestar Runner ruled the world! When word of mouth mattered more than insincere retweets! When we hadn't yet squandered the promise of new technology! So tune in and find out why your modern conception of fandom is shameful.

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Well, it doesn't get much further from Taylor Swift than this. We're taking a harmony joy ride with a rock 'n' roll prophet, searching for meaning in the music of Wesley Willis. Willis taught us all how to battle demons through obscene bestiality ballads and unfiltered autobiography, and we're passing that knowledge on to any listeners who might still be in the dark. Outsider art! Impromptu commercials! The triumph of the human spirit! Where else will you get that?

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We're venturing outside our demographic, and Taylor Swift is our guide! Can we learn anything from America's pop-country sweetheart? Or will we just make a bizarre web of connections between her, Michael Bay, J.K. Rowling, Stephen King, and all her ex-boyfriends and then insist it all makes sense? Guaranteed to contain zero Taylor Swift songs; just clips. So don't worry!

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This week, we're trying to wring humor out of a really scary disease that we don't know all that much about. And that should be fun, right? We trace the history of the Ebola virus from its humble origins to its brush with fame in the 1990s and beyond, and develop acute hypochondria in the process. Will we somehow include a lengthy digression about juggalos? You know us so well.

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In a hollow tree somewhere, elves are baking cookies with magic. At least that's what Keebler's commercials would have us believe. It's a journey into the world of advertising, the darkest corners of fandom, and the office where they decide how many spider parts can legally go into your food. Plus a bunch of crap about sad message boards and an attempt to sell cookies to adults for a change!

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We're headed down south (in spirit) to pay a visit to Dollywood, the Dolly Parton-est place on Earth! Will we avoid the obvious jokes? Actually yes, because there's a whole lot more to talk about. It turns out Dollywood is a magical place full of grannies and taters, old-timey craftsmen and a man named Big Skillet. So grab some ham 'n' beans, put on your poofiest wig, and join us in a town that is actually called Pigeon Forge.

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We all know Purple People Eater, the novelty song. But how about Purple People Eater... the movie? Oh, it happened, and we're spending our 150th episode trying to figure out why. Whether you're a fan of early rock 'n' roll, wacky car wash hijinx, or wiener dogs, there's sure to be something in this movie to upset you. We're pretty sure this is the only film ever to feature Doogie Howser, Enid Coleslaw, and Screech before any of them knew what acting was! Also, there is a horse.

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The Manitou! We can't even call it a famously bad film, because it never quite got famous, but we're watching it and discussing it. Thrill to the tale of a fortune-telling Tony Curtis, a shaman in a sad wig, and their slow, confusing battle with a wee magic fellow. Find out what we think about stuntmen in wigs, gratuitous nudity, and the lesser Cthulhu mythos, plus a scene so insane we can't describe it here.
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