HOW I PROPOSED TO MY GIRLFRIEND WHO IS NOW MY FIANCE
Some of you have already heard, others have not. Well, big news, ladies & gentlement... I'm engaged! On Thursday night I proposed to my girlfriend of nearly 3 years, Kay, and she said yes. A lot of people have been asking about how it all went down, so I'm posting the whole tale here for everyone to read.
FYI this is a lengthy entry. If you like romance, suspense, and poop jokes, read on.
I had been thinking about proposing to her for about the last 8 or 9 months. I started looking at rings about 4 months ago. I ordered the ring itself in May and received it about 5 or 6 weeks later in June. I ordered the ring from Robbins Bros. Yes, those guys with the terrible radio commercials. Well, apparently those commercials did their job because that was the first place I went. I cannot speak highly enough of them, though. They were very friendly, courteous, and helpful. They listened to what I had to say about style and budget. They asked me about my ideas for the proposal. They showed me a number of rings. They were not pushy. When I first went in March and said I was just looking they did not pressure me to buy that day. They did not call or harass me to remind me to come back. They simply listened to me while I was there and met my needs. Great customer service. I went to a couple other places and it was all talk about financing, payments, buy it today, NOW NOW NOW MONEY MONEY MONEY. So I went straight back to Robbins Bros. and I couldn't be happier with the ring I purchased.
I had a whole plan that was meant to happen just a bit earlier this month with a hot air balloon ride and whatnot, but the company I had a voucher for turned out to be the most difficult company to reach. I looked at their reviews on Yelp and it was basically about 35 terrible reviews of about 40 total, all people with vouchers like me and all having trouble reaching the company, let alone actually being able to schedule a reservation. So that plan was out the window.
WHAT WAS I TO DO?
Well, what do I do best? Cartooning, that's what. Anybody who's met Kay and talked to her for more than 10 minutes will be able to tell you that she loves trashy romance novels. She tears through about a book a day. It's ridiculous how many she's read and how much she loves them. And I love her for it. I already wanted to do this painting for her anyway, so I figure why not put my best effort into it and make it super awesome so that it could be part of the proposal. So I painted a romance novel cover. Featuring the two of us. I did that on Wednesday.
On Thursday I decided that since I enjoy writing silly rhyming poems so much, though I do so rarely, that I should writer her a silly rhyming poem for her. Then I decided to hand-make a card for her, featuring this poem. So I went to the art supply store, bought some blanks, fancy textured paper cards, and made her a card using a dip pen. I drew some designs on it, used my Ames Lettering Guide for once to get the words all in order, and... BAM. Card.
As soon as I finished the card I put a blank comic page on my drawing table to work on Space Mayor some more. But I just stared at it. I had made the card. I painted the fake romance novel cover. I framed it. I put it all in a box and wrapped it with cute octopus wrapping paper. It was all ready to go. It was 6pm on Thursday and I decided that I had to propose THAT NIGHT when she got home from work. After some nudging from two good friends of mine, I decided that it had to be more than just the painting and the card and the ring, so I went for a drive and planned the whole thing in my head. I went home, set up everything, and set my plan in motion. So here's how the night went from Kay's perspective.
Kay gets off work, for some reason, sometime between 9:30 and 9:45pm. You'll have to ask her why it's so weird. Anyway, at about 9:35, she received a series of text messages that read:
I know that it's late
And you're getting off work
Just do as I say
I swear I'm no jerk
You should get in your car
But do not drive home
Nor to the studio
I'll explain where to go
Once you leave campus
On 7th you'll drive
At Junipero turn left
At Ocean a right
Park your car on the right
I'll be on the hill
On the bluff we'll enjoy
The cool night, so still
Do not call me, please
Until you arrive
Or if you get lost
I'll help you survive
You do have to come
It's essential, a must!
I totally walked here
So it's walk home or bust
She tried calling after the first two. I didn't answer. I sent her the rest. She texted back "Okay. Leaving now." The directions led to a nearby park overlooking the ocean with a path down to the beach.
She showed up about 9:50 or so, smiling, in a good mood. We went for a 20ish minute walk on a path on the beach. I wore a nice shirt that I know she likes. I showered and shaved and used the smelly aftershave that I know she likes. I combed my hair and basically got all fancied up for her. We walked and talked. We walked back and sat on a bench on top of a bluff overlooking the ocean, with a beautiful view of the Queen Mary and Shoreline village. Somehow, randomly in the midst of conversation, Lord of the Rings came up and we ended up watching Leonard Nimoy sing the Ballad of Bilbo Baggins on YouTube on my iPhone.
We left shortly thereafter. She was starting to get suspicious, but that seemed like the end of the night. She drove us home (I really did walk to the park). We went upstairs to our apartment door, I opened it and casually walked in a set her bag down like nothing was up. She walked in after me and there waiting for her was two chairs, a table, candles roses, two champagne glasses, crackers, and a present wrapped with octopus paper on the couch. I had her sit down while I got the champagne and cheese from the fridge. Mind you, I planned and set this all up and got dressed and ready and everything in a matter of about 2 hours.
By candlelight we drank champagne, ate cheese and crackers, and reminisced about how I did something similar, though on a smaller scale, for our first Valentine's Day. All the while the present sitting there is torturing her. After our first glass of champagne I let her open the present. She saw the painting and started crying. She opened the card, and I sat on the couch next to her and read it aloud to her.
ON THE FRONT
(Please read aloud)
Wherever we are right now
Whatever it is that we're doing
It may be romantic, it may be fun
(Unless either of us are pooing)
Take a moment to relax
Take some time to daydream
Envision us elsewhere
(No, really, I hope you're not midstream)
Mountains, fields, and flowers
A setting sun that evokes
Feelings of adventure, love, & romance
(Sorry for all the pee & poop jokes)
That's where we are right now
A timeless moment, no regard for the year
(One more for the road, pinch off your final loaf
Here's where it gets sincere)
ON THE INSIDE
We always say to each other
As Deep As The Ocean, As Wide As The Earth
These words are so full and true
Priceless, beyond value & worth
As tall as Olympus Mons
The tallest known mountain in Space
As intricate as all the details
On a delicately rendered typeface
These are merely comparisons
Of my love for you, and yours for me
Despite all the ways to say "I love you"
I have just one question, you see
(And I hope there is room
for me to get on one knee)
Kelley Dyan Wantuch,
Will you marry me?
Please check one:
Kevin Arthur Woody
I made sure I was kneeling at that point, squished between the couch and her chair. I opened the ring box. And she said... something along the lines of...
"WHAT THE HECK THERE A LIGHT IN THE BOX WHERE DID YOU GET A BOX WITH A LIGHT"
"OH YES YES YES YES OF COURSE YES!"
That's what I was looking for.
Oh, and the light in the box? I guess Robbins Bros. ring boxes come standard with an LED light that turns on when you open the box, like the trunk of a car or a refrigerator. As soon as I realized that I made the executive decision that I had to propose to her in the dark.
Also, yes, those poop jokes are real. I managed to fit poop jokes into my marriage proposal.
After about 10-15 minutes to enjoy the moment, we started the release of information to the world via text message and Facebook & Twitter. Oh the 21st century.
And that's the whole thing.