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You can now buy "Throwback" Pepsi that is made with real sugar. When will they start selling throwback Coca-Cola made with real cocaine?
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Scent is the sense most tied to memory. "Common" is the sense least tied to people.
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I have heard that you should dress for the job you want, not the job you have. I'd rather not have a job. So I went to the office barefoot in boxers and a t-shirt today. It worked!
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When one door closes, another one opens; that's the main reason I'm convinced my house is haunted.
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Compared to Victoria's Secret, what Starbucks charges for a cup isn't that bad.
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If you want to see exactly how angry a person can get, tell them to "calm down" when they're already pissed off.
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In their circles
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I want my casket to have a crank on it that plays the jack-in-box music.
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Watching Netflix before going to bed is the adult equivalent of being read a bedtime story.
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Why do people say “nice to meet you” before I’ve even said anything? How do you know it’s nice to meet me? I’m a jerk.
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I can tell how uncomfortable a person is just by hugging them for 18 minutes
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I just went down to McDonald's in Harlem. I don't get what all the hype is about. This shake is pretty normal
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Everyone suffering from diseases and natural disasters: hang in there, we're liking Facebook posts as fast as we can.
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People
In their circles
1 person
Have them in circles
8 people
Tony Benages's profile photo
Tony Benages's profile photo
Peter Kempe's profile photo
Drew Clyngenpeel's profile photo
Leah Rogers's profile photo
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Funny Facebook Statuses & Funny Tweets. Random Posts at their finest!