It looks like candidates will campaign heavily in California since no one on the Republican side can lock up the nomination without it. A lot of people are excited. Since California is one of the last states, it rarely matters to the results.
We should change that.
Sadly, we can hold neither the first primary nor the first caucus. The first two states have clauses in their constitutions which automatically reschedule their nominating contests. While it might be fun to force Iowa or New Hampshire to schedule their contest before the beginning of time, Nobelists with the University of California warn that it's a dangerous proposition.
California will just hold "The Big One", a unique three-week nominating contest with no holds barred, no privacy, and no quitting.
Week one will begin in sunny Los Angeles, California with a grueling gauntlet of game shows. Candidates must show their knowledge of Federal programs in a special edition of The Price Is Right, general trivia mastery on Jeopardy!, compete in an epic rap battle, and vie to become America's Next Top Candidate. Throughout this, and all the other contests, the candidates will be subject to the whims of you, the voting public. Enter your vote at any time, change your vote at any time! In every competition there will be chances to win immunity, gain bonus delegates, and obtain one of the three coveted Vote Thief Medallions.
For week two, it's the physical competition. In stunning Santa Monica, the candidates will face off in a beach volleyball showdown before mounting bikes and riding north. In world-famous Malibu, they will compete in a surfing competition before speeding off into the mountains. Somewhere in the Transverse Ranges they will complete an obstacle course designed by California firefighters to ensure they are physically capable of dealing with any emergency. Then it's down into the Central Valley where they must work a farm from dawn to dusk.
The candidates will now pull into the heart of tech country for the mental challenge. Here they will be paired up and placed in an intensive coding bootcamp, working 'round the clock to build a product. At the end of the week, they will gather to present their proposals to a room of California's most skeptical tech voters. Once more, you, the voting public, will be able to signal your favorites and even submit video questions, criticisms, or general trolling to the candidates as they sweat it out in The Demon Round.
Finally, the candidates will gather at the San Andreas Fault where The Big One will be announced. It is at this moment that candidates will be able to steal delegates from each other as they see their national approval numbers updated live. Any candidate who wins (or steals) two of three nominating contests while still holding immunity can take it all and raise the ire of voters nationwide as they steal an election and become The Big One.
It will be simultaneously the most and least democratic nominating contest in the United States.