Profile cover photo
Profile photo
Mal Duane
225 followers -
A warrior for women, helping them reclaim their self-worth
A warrior for women, helping them reclaim their self-worth

225 followers
About
Posts

Post has attachment
Add a comment...

Post has attachment
How to transform your troubles
Add a comment...

Post has attachment
Add a comment...

Post has attachment
Add a comment...

Post has attachment
Add a comment...

Post has attachment
I was having a conversation with Sonja, my TEDx buddy about key words to describe what we do in our work with clients. Her word was connection. She teaches her clients communications. At first I thought my word was inspire but then it hit me, it’s COURAGE.

I think of myself as a midlife transition coach who helps women get back up when life has unexpectedly knocked you down.

I now recognize that courage has served me well. I have used it to get back up many times when life has hit me with a huge challenge. Getting honest about my alcohol addiction years ago took courage. Surviving the death of my precious niece took courage. Getting up again after my divorce took more courage! My public speaking takes courage. I am always scared when I first start. I still remember kids laughing at me when I was small, making fun of me when I spoke up.

Courage is something we all have, it just needs to be nurtured. It is also a split second decision.

How do you muster up your courage?

Understand that fear is something you create with your thoughts.

Taking one small step at a time. Allow yourself to feel your fear, breathe deeply into it and count to five. Sit with it and let it settle. When fear first hits you, it can feel like your body is in a huge vice being squeezed. After a few minutes the sensation settles down and your mind quiets down. If you try to take action while consumed with fear, you usually make very emotional decisions. If you let the feeling of fear soften slightly, you will make more courageous choices.

I have watched people in scary situations run right into more trouble because they were consumed with fear and didn’t allow themselves to feel the fear before reacting.

Sometimes fear can be mistaken for excitement. The sensations feel identical in the body.

Courage can feel like excitement as well.

Courage is just overcoming your feelings of fear. I am sure you have heard “feel the fear and do it anyway”.

There is probably nothing you can’t deal with if you just give yourself a few moments to center yourself, acknowledge your fearful thoughts and then step right into your courage.
Photo
Add a comment...

Post has attachment
Life really has a way of shaking you up, and I know how painful experiences have the ability to motivate you to do something MORE with your life.

For me, it was once I started my path of recovery, I realized I had lessons to share with other women. Over the past 28 years those lessons have vastly expanded. I have learned how to get back up after an unthinkable betrayal in my marriage and ultimately come through my divorce stronger than I was before. I learned that I was resilient and knew how to create boundaries and advocate for myself. The biggest lesson of all has been forgiveness, which has freed me from the bondage of my own thoughts.

That's why I was so thrilled when Toni Black told me she was hosting an interview series all around rising above painful experiences and using them as a catalyst to recognize your truth, passion, and purpose to heal the world of others. It's called: Live Out Loud! How to Connect to Your Truth, Discover Your Passion and Purpose, and Use Your Gifts to Make a Difference! Register HERE! -->>> https://liveoutloudsummit.com/?utm_source=Mal<<<-----
Photo
Add a comment...

Post has attachment
Do you wake up some days with two conversations going on in your head?

You toss and turn, there is a tug of war going on about deciding what to do.

One voice says, “stay where you are”, “don’t do anything”, “watch out”, “you can’t do this” which is the limiting voice of the ego. The ego doesn’t like growth, risks, vulnerability and the potential for failure. It’s all about keeping you safe so it thinks.

But how are you to grow and expand in this lifetime without stepping into the arena of challenge, of taking a chance? Stretching yourself beyond your current limits? You can’t.

The good news is the more you grow, the more that nagging voice will show up. So, recognize it as a very good sign and tell it “I heard you, not to worry, I’ve got this”.

Honestly, I have been hearing it a lot lately. Whenever I start thinking big and reaching for my dreams, my ego starts screaming at me. If I listened to it I would have accomplished none of the great things that I have done in my life.

One side of your brain supports everything you do. That is the loving side that doesn’t get caught in fear. You can call it spirit, the Universe or your higher self. The name doesn’t really matter but what it says to you does.

The more you nurture your relationship with the loving part of the brain, the fearful voice diminishes.



How do you build your connection to that loving voice in your head?



Simple. Stop multi-tasking. Your brain isn’t wired to do two things at once. When you multi task you are inadvertently weakening your efforts. Things don’t come out as well as they could have. Your brain is feeling split and starts letting you know by negative self-talk or even condemnation.
Meditation is the fastest way to discover the voice within that comes from your soul. Just allow 5-10 minutes for your mind to settle down. Then just breath and listen.
Journaling is another powerful practice that allows your soul to speak to you. Allow it to flow, no need to push and question intensely.
Oracle cards are fabulous. I use various angel decks, Law of Attraction or Kuan Yin. The cards I pull inspire a wonderful internal dialogue with my higher self.


Now when that crippling internal struggle starts, you can decipher who is speaking to you and acknowledge the voice. It is so much fun standing in your power and making powerful choices that take you places that you used to dream about.
Add a comment...

Post has attachment
Have you ever thought about all the things you can count on and realized there are none?

It can be a scary idea.

I was doing this the other day and the only thing I could come up with is that life is always changing. Sometimes it feels good and sometimes it doesn’t.

How do you embrace change and make it work for you?

Immediately, I had a few powerful ideas pop in my head. (I have become proficient in dealing with change.) You don’t have to do it alone. I had great coaches, mentors and I took classes. I’m here for you. I will show you everything I have learned over the past 28 years.

- Do not resist change. Resistance drains your positive constructive energy and leaves you powerless.
- Don’t judge what is happening but rather discern from your feelings how it is effecting you.
- Make a list of all the choices available to you in this situation. Sit with each one for a while and see which one feels the most in alignment with you. None of them maybe be perfect but one is workable.
- Put your choice into play but be open to modifications as you proceed. It may require some changes as you move forward.

The key lesson here is to stay in your power while change occurs. Don’t react quickly but rather contemplate options and then respond. The outcome will be far more comfortable.
Add a comment...

Post has attachment
Today is my wedding anniversary....and I'm not married. It is still a day of emotional struggle for me. I am sitting quietly contemplating the events that unfolded in my marriage that brought me such deep pain. I recognize that my heart was broken wide open again, (it’s happened before- it’s part of life’s plan) but now I understand more about myself.

My job is not to figure out other people or why they do things but to continue to learn how I can grow and what I can do to help others who may experience similar pain. There are many women out there in my shoes.

I recognize that my heart is stronger now and has a greater capacity to hold love for all those who identify with me. Divorce is depilating but it’s up to you to get back up. It is so painful. Danielle Laporte in her new book “White Hot Truth” describes divorce like “having my bones broken very, very slowly, one limb after the next and then each rib-which made it difficult to breath for a long time. I think that pretty much says it all.

It doesn’t make any difference if you asked for the divorce or not, the fall out is the same.

The most important part of this piece is you that have the ability to heal you!

There are many practices you can put into play that will ease your pain and bring you peace over time. I know because I did them daily. I am not claiming that I still don’t feel pain from time to time, I just have a better perspective about it. I admit I am still healing but feel I have made tremendous progress.

My anniversary gift to you or someone you know is to join me on a FREE Conference Call to discuss how to get back up emotionally and move on with your life. It will be Saturday morning at 11 AM EDT/8:00 PST. I am hoping that is a convenient time for most women.

Please call 712-770-4010 Access Code 752297

I know in this shattered heart of mine that I am here to teach. To help women get back up from whatever knocks them down. Please join me Saturday morning. I can only bring you love!

Photo
Add a comment...
Wait while more posts are being loaded