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Greg Stolze
3,566 followers -
Writer, parent, oddball
Writer, parent, oddball

3,566 followers
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Greg's posts

ME: Ugh, why is my stomach upset, why am I listless, why do I have no appetite?
FEELSBRAIN: This is the slow but inexorable crush of age upon your too too tender flesh, you are compressed, diminished, somehow the same man but in a smaller, frailer space...
THINKSBRAIN: You were drinking whiskey and eating french fries with ranch dressing at 10:30 last night, what the fuck did you THINK was going to happen?
ME: ...I guess it's just one of life's mysteries...

-G.

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Ta daaaah!
Digital Slipcase!

Although the digital editions of the three core Unknown Armies 3 books are now available (from Warehouse 23, Paizo, and DriveThruRPG), we were not able to give you a digital slipcase. UNTIL NOW.

We've uploaded the three-panel screen interior of the slipcase plus the super awesome exterior art to our website. You can grab it here for free. Print, crop, or mangle to suit your needs.
http://atlas-games.com/pdf_storage/AG6030A_GM_Screen_2017-03-27.pdf
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Woo! My Kickstarter funded, which means you can read a short, bitter, five-page pile of weirdness online for free!

http://gregstolze.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/PATIENCE.pdf

If you don't like PDF, you can get other formats at http://gregstolze.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/PatienceFormats.zip .

If I seem like I'm being vague about the content... yeah, it's hard to think of a description that doesn't lessen the impact of just reading the thing. It's only five pages. C'mon.

If you liked that, be sure to check out http://gregstolze.com/fiction-library/ . There's a lot more there.

-G.

For all of you who thought I wouldn't go through with it, here's my side-by-side watch of IRON FIST and GREAT BRITISH BAKING SHOW.


MOST HORRIFYING WEAPONIZED ELEMENT
IF: Spider eroticism
GBBS: Paul Hollywood’s pitiless ice-blue eyes
ADVANTAGE: IF

OMINOUS MULTICULTURAL CERAMICS
IF: Three
GBBS: None
ADVANTAGE: IF

MASSACRE SET TO EIGHTIES HITMAKERS “AH-HA”
IF: One
GBBS: Zero
ADVANTAGE: IF

CONDESCENSION TALLY
IF: Three
GBBS: Two
ADVANTAGE: GBBS

BOARDROOM MEETINGS
IF: One
GBBS: Zero
ADVANTAGE: GBBS

TAI CHI
IF: All day all day!
GBBS: None for us thanks, we’re British
ADVANTAGE: GBBS

SHIRLEY THE ADMINISTRATOR!
IF: …and she’s TREACHEROUS!
GBBS: ...'surely the administrator' does what?
ADVANTAGE: IF

CATCHPHRASE DEPLOYMENT
IF: 1x “Sweet Christmas!”
GBBS: 3x “Ready/set/BAAAAKE!”
ADVANTAGE: IF

ELDERLY WOMAN IN POSITION OF AUTHORITY
IF: Madame Gao
GBBS: Mary Berry
ADVANTAGE: Neither

DRUGGY SHIT?
IF: Ward becomes interesting
GBBS: Howard’s hemp loaf jokes
ADVANTAGE: Neither

“TIME IS RUNNING OUT!”
IF: It totally is!
GBBS: It always is!
Advantage: Neither

LESSONS ABOUT GLUTEN?
IF: How is this even a category?
GBBS: CRUSHING IT
Advantage: IF

HOW SEXY IS IT?
IF: Ssssspider skank!
GBBS: This tea-loaf is shaped like a bottom
ADVANTAGE: GBBS

WHO GETS ELIMINATED
IF: Some drug guy? Radish? Radical? Radoslov?
GBBS: Portly gay British version of Matt Damon! HE WAS GREAT!
ADVANTAGE: GBBS

IF 6, GBBS 5

At episode 5, this is starting to feel like homework, but the IRON FIST / INTO THE BADLANDS comparison continues!

PORTENTIOUS BOARDROOM SCENES!
IF: Not one, but TWO!
ITB: Zero
ADVANTAGE: ITB

CLUMSY FUMBLING WITH RELEVANT QUESTIONS OF BUSINESS ETHICS
IF: Earnestly so!
ITB: …hard pass
ADVANTAGE: IF

SUDDEN, INEXPLICABLE CHANGE OF DEMEANOR
IF: Two
ITB: One
ADVANTAGE: ITB

DUDE WHO OWNS EVERYTHING, WOWIN’ THE LADIES
IF: Surprisingly yes
ITB: Surprisingly no
ADVANTAGE: ITB

EXECUTING AN UNDERLING FOR SURVIVING A REALLY TOUGH FIGHT
IF: Yep
ITB: Why would you…?
ADVANTAGE: ITB

KEEPING A POINTLESS SECRET
IF: Nope
ITB: …guilty, your honor
ADVANTAGE: IF

LANCE HENRIKSEN!!1!
IF: Oh come on
ITB: YeeeeeaaAAAAHHH!
ADVANTAGE: ITB

CLUMSY DIALOGUE
IF: (shuffles feet)
ITB: (looks down at ground)
ADVANTAGE: Neither

ROSARIO DAWSON!
IF: Push kick!
ITB: Did we mention Lance Henriksen?
ADVANTAGE: IF

NON-SEXUAL EAR BITING
IF: Gross!
ITB: (smug nod)
ADVANTAGE: ITB

LOVE CHAT THAT INVOLVES WOLVES, BLOOD
IF: No, our love chat is all in koan form
ITB: (growls)
ADVANTAGE: ITB

A “WHAT THE SHIT IS HE DOING IN THE DUNGEON RIGHT AFTER HIS DIME PIECE GOT POISONED” MOMENT
IF: Huh?
ITB: …this thing of darkness, I acknowledge mine.
ADVANTAGE: IF

ITB 7, IF 4


My IRON FIST / INTO THE BADLANDS compare & contrast has hit episode 4

“…YOU SEE IT TOO?!?”
IF: Well deployed
ITB: Nope
ADVANTAGE: IF

HUGGING THE BAD GUY
IF: Twice
ITB: He’s not a hugger
ADVANTAGE: IF

EYEROLL AT “EMBRACE YOUR DESTINY!”
IF: Again, nicely used
ITB: Not so much
ADVANTAGE: IF

JACK KIRBY STICKERS!
IF: Shit yeah!
ITB: …got a green army guy?
ADVANTAGE: IF

“WHAT A REMARKABLE… BUSINESS DEAL”
IF: I know, right?
ITB: (baffled incomprehension)
ADVANTAGE: ITB

TAI CHI
IF: Absolutely!
ITB: …nah.
ADVANTAGE: ITB

WEDDING PLANS
IF: No
ITB: Yes, with incest-shaming!
ADVANTAGE: ITB

FREUDIAN BICKERING
IF: Meh
ITB: …no YOU hate your father!
ADVANTAGE: ITB

FLY-BLOWN CORPSES
IF: Heavens no!
ITB: Oh hell yeah
ADVANTAGE: ITB

BETRAYAL
IF: You could call it that
ITB: Piled higher and deeper
ADVANTAGE: Neither

Totals: IF 4, ITB 5, it’s a squeaker!

Post has attachment
https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/gregstolze/patience-1

This is tripping right along. If you don't know what the deal is, let me break it down for you. I'm basically ransoming out a nice, weird short story. It's about 2500 words, so... like 5 pages or so. But I'm only asking for $375 from everybody in the whole world, and if I get that, I'll put it on my web site, for free, under a CC license, for everybody. You can read a bunch of stories I've already let go in this way at www.gregstolze.com/fiction_library . Check it out?

-G.

The IRON FIST / INTO THE BADLANDS tandem watch continues, though I kinda want to add GREAT BRITISH BAKING SHOW in the mix too now.

MORE TAI CHI?
IF: Yes
ITB: No!
Advantage: ITB

MORE CONDESCENSION?
IF: Oh HELL yes!
ITB: Lil’ bit
ADVANTAGE: ITB

GENTEEL REAL ESTATE DISAGREEMENTS
IF: At least (yawn) three
ITB: Not genteel, no
ADVANTAGE: ITB

CARRIE ANNE MOSS
IF: Oh baby you know it
ITB: …no
ADVANTAGE: IF

CERAMICS INTRIGUE
IF: Yes
ITB: No
ADVANTAGE: ITB

WELL EXECUTED HAYANADA?
IF: Yes
ITB: Yes
ADVANTAGE: Neither

BIGAMY TSURIS
IF: No
ITB: Yes
ADVANTAGE: ITB

WOMEN WEARING THOSE THUMBHOLE SLEEVES
IF: Colleen Wing
ITB: The Widow
ADVANTAGE: Neither

“IT’S HIDDEN UNDER THE BED!”
IF: (scoffs)
ITB: …well yes
ADVANTAGE: IF

TREPANATION
IF: What is…?
ITB: WE’RE DOIN’ THIS!
ADVANTAGE ITB

TOTALS: ITB 6, IF 2
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