Dear Republican Party,
I am one of those independent voters who all the pundits say you and the Democrats so badly want to attract.
Before you even start talking about what went wrong, let me assure you: from my perspective, the problem with your candidate and your party's platform is absolutely not that they "weren't conservative enough."
The problem is you are providing top cover for batshit insane people and they make the whole party look just as crazy.
Get hold of things and make sure people like Todd Akin and Herman Cain never get to stand behind a microphone and claim to speak for your party.
Marginalize the marginal voices, because those crazy bastards are HURLING a generation to the Democrats, and really, if we are going to be stuck with just two political parties, I strongly prefer they both be healthy.
Get it together, guys.