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Static Jones
Works at Clown Inc.
Attends The International School of Clowning (graduating from clown school is ridiculously difficult. I'm on the 5-year plan, and it's a six week program.)
Lives in The Land of Arse
213 followers|1,284,712 views
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Static Jones

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Trump is a chump. I vote Trump's toupee for president! Or is it a merkin? I'm not sure.
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#happy  
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Static Jones

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This cloning thing is really getting out of hand.
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Static Jones

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I identify somewhere between "Ecru" and "Beige." Get it right!
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Have him in circles
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Static Jones

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<3 Chomsky. But freedom of speech is a little over-rated. Clearly we need more freedom of tactfulness ... and possibly more freedom for disadvantaged citizens to exercise the same freedoms and rights only a minority of privileged persons seem to believe they are entitled to enjoy ... and the freedom to listen to things that make us uncomfortable ... and the freedom to eat as many turd burgers as we want in 'Murica. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/06/16/scientist-poop-burger-video_n_878210.html
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that's why freedom of speech doesn't mean freedom from consequences ...
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Static Jones

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We must stand together and prevent the powers that be from dividing us if we want any progress. #FeelTheBern #blacklivesmatter
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Is this what you call a "shit stroke"?
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Only when it's accurate. Because y'know...the earth is only 8,000 years old. Lmao
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Static Jones

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wow...good thing i nair everything but my head.
It would seem that I am becoming the resident entomologist at STP, with my post about avoiding mosquito bites last month and now this story about the resurgence of an insect thought to be eradicated. The Axilla Beetle also known as the OxterBug is a parasitic insect related to the head louse, ...
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Knock knock.
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Hoo Wee!
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People
Have him in circles
213 people
Roy “Linux Canuck” Charles's profile photo
Alan Clay's profile photo
Raheen Ashimi's profile photo
Harry Roger's profile photo
CAPTAIN ALPHA's profile photo
Thierry Watters's profile photo
De Saini's profile photo
Jenn Thorson's profile photo
Richard P-Man's profile photo
Work
Occupation
Does clowning count as a job?
Employment
  • Clown Inc.
    Does clowning count as a job?, present
Places
Map of the places this user has livedMap of the places this user has livedMap of the places this user has lived
Currently
The Land of Arse
Previously
Shit, Zanjan, Iran - Fuhq, Timbuktu - Pogostick, Togo - Greenland - Antarctica - Uranus
Links
Story
Tagline
aka Jesus "The Hobo"
Introduction
Hi. Here's a few details:
My interests include rustic style furniture, frying bacon in the nude, and backfired enemas...you wanted something more perhaps? Okay then.

Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, select, start, where was I again? Nooooo!

I am an evil sock puppet bent on world domination, sticking it to the man by running my own comedy website, killing spammers & genetically modified chickens as I go. I live in the land of Arse on planet N00b, oops I meant planet Krapsody and my life is loosely based on the life of Philleas Fogg, when I say "loosely based" I mean I have no idea in hell who Philleas Fogg was. Okay, all of that was bullshit, but it makes for a good background story, doesn't it?

My other interests include [(*sigh) I have to make this all neat and organized and stuff, or you'll never get through it]...

Here they are in no particular order:
  • Converting O2 to CO2
  • Chewing my toenails
  • Watching grass grow
  • Artsy fartsy stuff
  • Carnival Music
  • Offbeat news
  • Comedy
  • Humor
  • Rants
  • Pie
  • Randomness
  • Funny stuff (like rickets)
  • Anything: Bizarre, Insane, or Weird
  • Keeping notes on whom I am going to get revenge on next
  • Tossing midgets and more!

Y'know typical guy stuffs...

Btw, I've got happy feet. They're never happier than when they're kicking some ass. Especially clown ass, with my big clown ass kickin' shoes. I'm a kidder, I like clowning around. I tried thinking outside the box... once. And then I realized I was thinking inside a big circle. Was that too much information?

↑ Don't end up with stupid! ← → ↓

Favorite quote: "If you're in a war, instead of throwing a hand grenade at the enemy, throw one of those small pumpkins. Maybe it'll make everyone think how stupid war is, and while they are thinking, you can throw a real grenade at them." Jack Handy - Deep Thoughts

Krapsody's here for your lurid reviews.

I also co-author at Homeless in Seattle and Project Julio.

See ya when I sees ya! =D

Yours insincerely,

~Static
Bragging rights
If you are looking for water, don’t squeeze a rock. Obviously.
Education
  • The International School of Clowning (graduating from clown school is ridiculously difficult. I'm on the 5-year plan, and it's a six week program.)
    present
  • Clown High School
Basic Information
Gender
Male
Other names
aka: Static Krapsody, Shitbags McGee, Stat B, Static B, Static Jibilly Boombah, Jesus the hobo, Arsehole, F---tard, and Hey YOU!