The Supplementary Sandal
Toe tenderizer, 2014 - present
The trick to selling people three sandals when they need only two is to create demand. The trick to creating demand is to make people realize they need something that they didn't realize they needed. The trick to that is mallets. It's a hard job but someone's got to do it.
Angry Badgers Ltd
Docile badger re-angerer, 2001 - 2014
A badger that isn't angry is at risk of heart attack, hemorrhoids, gastroskeletal defects and advanced archery. While most badgers are leading healthy lives, some badgers need help. It's a hard job but someone's got to do it.
Exoskeleton puncher, 2000 - 2001
Exoskeletons must be punched every so often to prevent them from becoming endoskeletons, which we can all agree is the worst kind of skeleton. It's a hard job but someone's got to do it.
Lead muck operator, 1984 - 2000
Do you think that quality muck just comes out of any old marsh? No, that muck needs to be tended to and operated on on a regular basis. It's a hard job but someone's got to do it.