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Stewart Kirby
249 followers -
I see animatronic Hippies.
I see animatronic Hippies.

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Intergalactic General Elvis Aaron Presley, champion martial artist in three solar systems, descends in a glorious white jumpsuit sequined with otherworldly gems and asks if I'd like a fried peanut butter and banana sandwich...

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The guide that greets me at the disembarking station is a terrestrial hominid with green and purple skin from a distant planet with amazing stories of his own. When I ask him what it's like working for the King, he shows me a ring on his finger with the letters TCB.


"Taking Care of Business," I acknowledge.


My guide smiles, nods, and leads me into an immense auditorium entirely covered by a transparent dome revealing the star-thick sky. From a colorful array of artificial life I am reminded of the many faces of Elvis Presley. A Young Elvis android curls his lip and shakes his hips as he tells me of his early experiences, followed by a gold-suited version of himself a decade later with Android-Margaret dancing by his side. Lastly, Elvis ten years further advanced, bloated in a blue sequined cape. This one has nothing to say. He only points to the figure seated high on the throne in the center of the shadowy room...

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Satan was God's favorite angel until he started writing books...

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MEET...BOY-O!
When I was 10 my mother told me to look in the Sears Wish Book and circle some things I might like for Christmas. But I already knew what I wanted: the Charlie McCarthy ventriloquist's dummy. So I circled it twenty times, with exclamation points, and folded...

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I know where I can get  a ventriloquist's dummy, fast.
And I'm going to.
Today.

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