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Margaret Miller
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"Productive Paranoia", a quality that most successful entrepreneurs have in common. Where we prepare for the next disruption before it has even happened. Fear becomes a weakness when we cower away from the unknown instead of anticipating the possible outcomes and walking through what hasn't happened yet with courage and ammo.
We are living in a time of change felt on a mezzo, macro and micro level. Change, in and of itself, is scary. We fear what we do not know because we anticipate that we may not be able to handle what is yet to come. Fear provokes anxiety which is, simply put, the activation of the fight or flight response. And when we lead with fear we lead with those very basic, primitive responses; to fight what we do not know or to flee from it. America, the world, we are all feeling this right now.
The key is to read our fears. To walk through them with courage. Fears can offer us wisdom, insight and a version of the truth as Karen Thomson Walker explains in this short TedTalk explaining how we can learn from Fear instead of be crippled by it.
Whether it be on an intimate level (do I choose to let this person in or not risk being hurt?), on an economic level (do I make this investment or not risk the potential loss?), on a political level (do I fight what I do not agree with or flee from it?), or on a global level (do I fight what I do not know or flee from it?), we are all ALWAYS coming into contact with matters or persons that provoke fear in us. Can we learn from our fear and walk through it to the other side, or will it limit and break us? The choice is ours, for 'On the other side of fear is freedom'.

https://www.ted.com/talks/karen_thompson_walker_what_fear_can_teach_us#t-671680
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In the past three months, I have lost two friends to Heroin. When I was a child, I lost my uncle to it. For many years I loved a Methamphetamine and Alcohol user.
Daily, I work with addicts in recovery and study what works in treatment and what doesn't. So far, from everything that I have learned and experienced, I believe that an addicts addiction is not to the drug itself, but the way it makes them feel (or not feel). I believe that if our loved ones who are suffering from addiction were able to live a more connected and meaningful existence not plagued by trauma and/or mental suffering, they would not depend on the drugs or alcohol they currently do, to survive. Modern research on addiction is showing just this. Addicts in recovery need to replace their old "highs" with newer, healthier ones. They need to find ways to get that release of dopamine that had kept them using drugs or alcohol, despite the consequences. They need exercise, they need hobbies, they need healthy and fulfilling relationships. This is what needs to be given to them in treatment. This is how they will truly be able to be free from Drugs and Alcohol. Here is a short Tedtalk describing this concept. If you or someone you know needs help, please visit http://www.margaretmillertherapy.com https://www.ted.com/talks/johann_hari_everything_you_think_you_know_about_addiction_is_wrong in recovery.
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John Gottman and his wife, Dr. Julie Shwartz-Gottman, are two of my mentors. I look up to them and reference their research regularly in my psychotherapy practice. Here is a wonderful article about the secret to making relationships work: kindness and connection.

http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2014/06/happily-ever-after/372573/
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This time of year brings with it a lot of wanting. If we haven't already been looking at the areas of our life where we are lacking, we tend to do so around the Holidays. Whether it be materialistically, emotionally, relationally, physically...we focus on it and yearn for more. This leads to a sense of dissatisfaction or discontent. If we want to be happy, we have to choose to look at what we do have, instead of what we don't. The power to be happy is within us and starts with perspective. Here is a good TED Talk discussing this very concept. The concept of Gratitude.
https://www.ted.com/talks/david_steindl_rast_want_to_be_happy_be_grateful
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With all of the division and tension surrounding the election, the simple power to change our perspective and perception of the present moment to make an ultimate shift in attitude, is important to keep in mind. Great session. See below.
http://www.supersoul.tv/supersoul-sessions/the-life-altering-power-of-a-positive-mind

If you are interested in receiving Therapy in San Diego to begin internally shifting the view of your external world, visit www.margaretmillertherapy.com and let's get started!
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