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Naomi Nabbit
"Trust that you are beautiful."
"Trust that you are beautiful."

So, life's going great here. Sorry if I've been out of touch - puberty-induced mood swings and crazy out-of-nowhere bouts of selfishness made me rather unpredictable and unpleasant to be around for a little while. Hormones are stabilizing though, or maybe I'm just getting used to being a selfish tweenager again, so I'm no longer avoiding social situations. But, Maya and work eat up nearly all of my time in any case, so that doesn't change much. xD

Speaking of Maya, she scored way above average on a motor skills evaluation, so we decided to start teaching her some basic ASL signs so she can communicate before she's able to use her vocal cords. We just started last weekend. Yesterday, after only signing such things to her for a week, at four months and one week old, she started making signs on her own. She signed "diaper" (hands near waist with pinky and ring fingers closed and tapping fore and middle fingers on your thumb) when she needed a change, though of course she did it really clumsily, because four month old, but it was clearly the motion and in the right spot. After I changed her but before I finished getting her clothes on, she impatiently signed "up" (arm pointing up with one finger in the air, which we're using for "I want to be picked up") and then glared at me when I finished putting her pants on first, doing it again before I picked her up.

The next onse for her to learn are "milk" for when she's hungry (squeezing your fist vertically in front of you twice as if milking an udder), the fake but logical one for "binky" that I found online (because there apparently isn't an official ASL sign for binky/pacifier?) (pressing the tips of thumb and forefinger together and bringing them horizontally to your lips (the eating gesture, but with a finger shape like you're holding a binky)). and "yes" (holding your fist horizontally in front of you and nodding it down and up) so she can tell us if we're right about what she wants.

I'd say she should also learn the sign for "bed" (the obvious/familiar motion - hands together next to your head and tilting your head toward them), but I suspect she will never ever say she wants to sleep. She always fusses when we try to get her to go to bed even when she's so tired she can barely stay awake and keeps rubbing her eyes and yawning.

I <3 our amazing daughter ^.^

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Maya Shallan Nabbit was born on October 31st, 2015 at 10:48pm after about 20 hours of labor. She's heathly and beautiful, and she and her moms are doing great.
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(semi-cross-posted from my new account)

I'm slowly switching over to my new email address and will not be posting in this email's G+ account anymore. Please add my other account if you want to stay in touch via G+.

Also, I want to apologize to anyone I lashed out at, here or elsewhere. I know it's no excuse, but I'm going through puberty and getting just as mad over absolutely nothing as I did the first time I went through this hormonal mess. For example, the other day, I snapped at someone because I misunderstood a rule he explained in a board game we were playing. I know how absurd that is, but at the time, it felt totally justified.

I feel so bad and am so embarrassed about how I've been acting, and I'm scared about how many friends I'll lose before I learn to get my emotions under control again. I've always had anger management issues, but I learned how to control them a long time ago, and now I have no idea how. I had thought starting on spiro would reduce my random feelings of aggression I always associated with male T levels, but maybe it's just me and not my hormones... Or maybe my T levels aren't really down yet, but the imbalance of transition is making it hard to keep things under control. I don't know. I just want to stop getting so mad over nothing. :(

Puberty was hard enough the first time. :(

Transition update:

Puberty has started, obviously. Yay for mood swings!

My change of name paperwork hasn't been processed yet. I filed it ten weeks ago. Two weeks ago, I called and found out that it was sitting on the desk of someone who was on an extended vacation. Last Monday, I called and spoke to her. She told me that the paperwork had been ready since early September, she just had to enter a few things into the computer and then mail it out to me. She said she'd get right on it and I'd get it in the mail by Wednesday, Thursday at the latest.

I called again today to ask what happened. She wasn't at her desk, so I spoke with someone else. They checked her desk for me and found my paperwork at the bottom of a pile of papers, completely untouched.

I'm running out of time. If the paperwork isn't processed very soon, my daughter's birth certificate won't have the correct name for me on it, and that will really upset me...

I'm still trying to find a new Endocrinologist, and still working with a therapist to get over the trauma of my visit to the last one. I never expected the Endo's office to be hostile to trans people and every single other doctor to be super accepting.

I've developed a nasty cough due to a problem with or near my vocal cords. My speech pathologist has told me to stop trying to speak in a feminine manner until I can get an ENT to look at it. She's worried about me causing permanent harm. I don't really feel comfortable leaving the house now since I have to either not talk, or cause potential harm to my voice.

Because of timing issues at work, my bosses and I decided it was best if I didn't come out until my parental leave at the end of the month. However, my group is moving buildings in a week. The new building does not have individual gender-neutral handicapped restrooms like my current one does. This means I'll have to use the men's room for two weeks if I need to use the bathroom at work. This makes me extremely uncomfortable and I can't even describe how anxious I am about that. But, there really isn't any other option that makes sense. They would let me come out sooner if I insisted, but this way honestly works out best in the long run. It'll just be really uncomfortable for a week and a half or so. Really, really uncomfortable. Sigh.

To be clear, my work has repeatedly told me I can come out whenever I want at this point, but without being able to speak in a feminine manner, without having time to do various things I wanted to do ahead of time (like transition my eyebrows, learn to put on makeup, and pierce my ears), and with the hormonal transition only just starting, I just decided I wasn't comfortable with it and wanted to wait for that three week break.

So yeah, I'm upset and anxious about a lot of things, and my attempt to relax and put all the stress aside this weekend backfired, so I'm even more stressed than I was before the weekend. And then worse after seeing the end of Season 8 of Dr. Who last night (seriously, Moffatt??). And then more worse after people's replies to my venting post earlier today. I'm really not in a good place right now. :(

EDIT: Nevermind.

I didn't enjoy Wrathborn2. I wanted to, I tried, I didn't. I'm sorry if that bothers you.
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My new email address is All my email now forwards there. I can't figure out how to copy over my circles though... Do I have to redo all my G+ contacts manually, or is there some mechanism I can use to recreate my circles and add people to them?

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For those who like digital CCGs, Faeria is having another semi-closed beta test from 8/18 (today) until 8/24. I can invite up to four people, and I think Sarah can invite another four. So, let me know if you're interested in trying out the game - they could certainly use more players to test the player matching functionality and such.

The game is a mix between a CCG and a board game. They've made a bunch of changes in this latest version, so I can't speak for it, but the "original" version (the rules/cards in place when they kickstarted) was incredibly fun.

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The superhero known as "Route-29 Batman" was killed in a car accident yesterday. May you rest in peace, Lenny Robinson. You brought hope and smiles to so many sick children.

Since my cats' health insurance policy was just renewed, I figured I'd actually read it for once. I was not happy back in 2013 to discover they didn't cover anything related to a pre-existing condition when Pippin needed some teeth removed (sadly, Obamacare's provision that makes that illegal only applies to humans), so I figured I'd read up on what else wasn't covered. At the end of the list, I found the following:

xv. Any claim for loss that arises from a nuclear reaction, radiation, radioactive contamination, or the discharge of a nuclear device or a chemical, biological, biochemical, or electromagnetic weapon, device, agent, or material, whether controlled or uncontrolled, accidental or otherwise; or

xvi.Any claim for loss that arises from war, invasion, acts of foreign enemies, hostilities, civil war, rebellion, revolution, insurrection, strikes, riots, or civil commotion.
(emphasis mine)

I guess they're just preparing for what's coming!

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Haircut! Now to see if I can blow dry it right :o
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