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Brian Joseph Davis
writer & artist
writer & artist


Please note I have completely forsaken this corner of the social web. You can find updates on Facebook, Twitter or Tumblr.

The Worst Dressed at the Golden Globes
(from Portable Altamont, 2005)

Madonna has undergone countless transformations.

But the abandoned-late-colonial-surveying-a-crumbling empire look just doesn’t suit her. The jodhpur-and-pith helmet-sporting superstar’s frizzed-and-braided tresses at the 1999 Golden Globes are more suited for French Indochina than the TV-and-film fête.

White can be clean and elegant, or it can wash you out, like it did Lara Flynn Boyle at the 2000 Golden Globes. She raved to Portable Altamont about her Sebra speed skating suit: ‘It’s Coolmax tech-fibre-based for optimum transport of heat and sweat. It’s so classic, and it looks great on the skin.’

Will the real Gwen Stefani please stand up? Radar absorbent epoxy was the new black at the 2001 Golden Globes, but combined with her vaguely flapperish dress (with every surface curved in order to deflect radio waves) it didn’t seem to add up to anything other than its $20-billion price tag.

Rosanna Arquette. Where to begin?

She prides herself on being casual, but showing up at the 2002 awards right after a lipoplasty surgery, still in the surgical gown with the cannula hanging out of her left butt cheek and her anesthesiologist in tow was simply wrong.

Sela Ward’s thick red scarf, dirty gloves and brass bell —the traditional costume of the medieval leper — missed the mark at the 2003 Golden Globes. But don’t tell her that: ‘It’s fun and festive and Valentinesy and red,’ the former Once and Again star told Portable Altamont.

Blago Bung Blah! Is there anything worse than an obscure intellectual in-joke masquerading as fashion? In 2004, when country music first lady Faith Hill led a lobster on a leash down the red carpet while wearing an apron, it didn’t scream ‘I’ve read Nerval’; it screamed, ‘I’m a dork.’

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Christgau and the conceptual/obsessive masochism behind his Consumer Guide. Robert Christgau Rock n' Roll Animal (1999) Part 2 of 4

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So we sent a copy of The Consumed Guide book to Pitchfork. I'm hoping for a 7.0 or higher!

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"A sludge rock collaboration between artist Brian Joseph Davis and his brother JD Davis that was meant to produce a 7 inch of slow Ramones covers. Only one track was completed before JD went to do his Phd and Brian moved to a different country."

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We recently asked ourselves, “How are we going to raise money for Joyland this year?” We thought about Kickstarter, but that’s for new projects. Another benefit? Fun, but we wanted to take a break from begging in public. So we decided to sell something using a cutting edge new platform: fiction on paper. Please think about starting your new year with the best stories from Joyland delivered to your door.

90 pages, 6 x 9, $10.95
ISBN-13 978-1468065596
Available now

Via Joyland
Booksellers and educators, ask us about wholesale.

Joyland is an online literary magazine that curates fiction regionally. Praised by Time Out, the Atlantic, and the CBC, for its unique approach, Joyland now brings its best stories into print with Retro Vol. 1. From writers both emerging and acclaimed come short stories about spontaneous combustion on a dance floor, love affairs with predators, a very bad day for a purchase display consultant and what happens when a man decides he wants to be pregnant. As Quill & Quire wrote, “The future of literary magazines is already here.”

Contributors include:

James Greer the author of the novels Artificial Light (LHotB/Akashic, 2006) and The Failure (Akashic, 2010), and the nonfiction book Guided By Voices: A Brief History, a biography of a band for which he played bass guitar. Greer has written movies for Lindsay Lohan, Jackie Chan, and Steven Soderbergh.

Ben Loory whose fiction has appeared in the New Yorker. His book Stories for Nighttime and Some for the Day is available from Penguin Books.

Scott McClanahan, the author of Stories and Stories II (published by Six Gallery Press). His other works include Hillbilly, Stories V!, The Nightmares, and Crapalachia.

Zoe Whittall, the author of the Lambda Award-winning novel Holding Still for as Long as Possible (House of Anansi, 2009).

Kevin Wilson, the author of the collection, Tunneling to the Center of the Earth (Ecco/Harper Perennial, 2009), which received an Alex Award from the American Library Association and the Shirley Jackson Award, and a novel, The Family Fang (Ecco, 2011).

Roxane Gay, author and essayist for The Rumpus and HTML Giant.

Margaret Wappler, who has been published in the Los Angeles Times, The Believer, Rolling Stone, Fader, Arthur Magazine, Another Chicago Magazine and Black Clock. She is a graduate of the MFA Program in Critical Studies at California Institute of the Arts.

Jim Hanas, whose work has appeared in McSweeney’s, One Story, Fence, and the Land-Grant College Review.

Andrew Hood, the author of Pardon Our Monsters, which won the Danuta Gleed Award.

Erica Lorraine who received an MA in creative writing at University of California, Davis. Her work appears in Bombay Gin, Friction 9, and Rumble.

Nathan Sellyn, the author of Indigenous Beasts (Raincoast).

Ricco Siasoco, whose fiction has been published in the North American Review, Flyway Literary Review, Drunken Boat, Memorious, and the Boston Phoenix.

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I interview Ken Goldsmith on The Huffington Post. On what it's like hanging out at the White House: “The lack of resistance to what I was saying was remarkable. In fact, The White House was the most frictionless place I’ve ever been. Nothing ever goes wrong there. Like walking on air or being on the moon, there’s a complete lack of gravity. Due to the most insane security, it feels like the freest, most relaxed place on earth. It’s like everyone is on a combination of Prozac and Ecstasy. And everything I said there seemed to be met with big smiles and nods of approval, even things that advocated breaking social contracts”

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New Yorker Cover Caption Contest: G+ Decides

Submissions are now closed. I have three favorites -- one of which is ineligible.

"Here's where we keep the Dorothy Parker nude calendars sir," was submitted by my publisher, and they already have my book.

I'll post the other two below in comments. + 1 the one you prefer. Whichever has the most votes at 4pm ET wins the book.
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