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Mike Phirman
I halve problems!
I halve problems!
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Search your feelings. You know it to be true.
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Did you know composer John Williams wrote four scores for the movie "Lincoln"?

Businesses! Today being 12/12/12, you should totally have a sale where everything is 121,212% off!

I'm not naming any names, but if I were, I'd refer to the name Jim as "Billingsley".

To the person who invented words: putting "fist" in "pacifist"—brilliant.

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New video by +Mike Phirman & me! A love song for a very special lady....

#Gersberms   #SwedishChef  

Whoever came up with the phrase "Keep Calm & Carry On" obviously never had a magic egg that would destroy the Earth whenever its owner came up with a phrase.

Last year, Santa went hungry because he didn't enable cookies. :(

I'm here to kiss ass & chew bubble gum... and I'm all out of bubble gum (but I can totally get more if you want—it's no problem, just let me know).

Any parent whose toddler is going as Iron Man for Halloween is inadvertently going as Jarvis.
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