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Hayley Groombridge
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I Went Outside..And It's A Bit More Dramatic Than It Sounds.
So 2017 has not been the year of the blog post. It's been a year full of lots of things, both in the world and in my world but one thing it's definitely not been full of is blogging. Woops. I was going to write a post about new year's resolutions, but since...
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A Child-Free Afternoon.
Today, we trekked up to London for a Christmas Toddler Party. I thought I had to stay with Elliot the whole time, so when we turned up and all the other parents waved goodbye at the door and ran for the hills I was a bit surprised. I had a child-free aftern...
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The Bad Mum Club.
Today, I finally accepted my invitation to the Bad Mum Club. It's a prestigious club, where you can only get when you've really fucked things up. Today was a complete fuck up. And it all started with me googling the norovirus last night panicking that I was...
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Things No-one Tells You: The Toddler Edition
So, the Internet is now rife with posts of "things no-one tells you about having a baby! including just how many people you invite to stare into your foofoo, how your boobs turn into full on rocks and how sometimes you just feel like you're going to smell l...
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Elliot's Hospital Adventures!
So Elliot was meant to go into hospital for an operation. And, I'm going to sound awful here, but I definitely wanted to write it all up on here, for anyone else who has to think about needles going into their tiny child. Well, it didn't happen. Not the blo...
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The Dystopian Hell of Adventure Bay.
I will put my hands up and say it, Elliot probably watches a bit too much Nick Jr and the surrounding channels (Nick Jr Peppa is legit both the best and worst thing that has ever happened to me. I was able to delete all the episodes we had saved in the Sky+...
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The Good, The Bad and the Poo-Stained Playpark.
It's been a while. And I'll tell you for why. We've been potty training. My life has honestly revolved around piss, shit and farts for the past three months. (or, "wee wee, poo poo and POP POPS" as Elliot tells me thirty times a day.) I've spent more time o...
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Introduction.
Hello! I'm Hayley, I've got a few months left of singing 22 by Taylor Swift to myself and I have a savage toddler called Elliot who takes the game "Got your nose!" to a whole new, dangerous, level. The story about how he arrived is a bit of a tale, and some...
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Toddler Day Trip Tips...from a survivor!
I braved all my fears the other day, and took Elliot out for an adventure at the Natural History Museum. It was just us two, and after having a pretty terrifying experience on a train (involving wheels getting stuck between the train and the platform and ev...
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The P Word and The B Word.
A while ago, I was told that I was going to make my son
gay. He was probably about 14 months old at the time. The reason? Because I’d
bought him a tea set, and it was pink. I really don’t think, if Elliot grows up
and falls in love with a man, that he will ...
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