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Jeff McCartney
Web-enabled person of Carbonic descent.
Web-enabled person of Carbonic descent.

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Next Stop, Cedarvale
Toronto straphangers were excited this past week to finally see the opening of the York Spadina Subway Extension after years of budget wrangling and construction delays. Not only can subway riders now take the train all the way to Pioneer Village (where the...

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Smells Like... Victory Local ice hockey team the Black Aces have reportedly signed a multi-million dollar merchandising deal with DudeBroNapalm Industries after going on an impressive winning streak at their most recent COTHL game. Industry analysts were ca...

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Words of Advice from Across the Ages
Dear Aces, get your shit together. After finishing atop the COTHL for five straight seasons, local ice hockey team the Black Aces are not having a great year. This much is certain. In an attempt to turn things around, Aces spiritual and human resources advi...

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Songs in the Key of Black
Since the Black Aces are having some trouble putting it all together for the 2017-2018, maybe what's needed is some inspiration. Please enjoy these fine videos, Aces, and let's see if they have a positive effect. Paint it Black - The Rolling Stones. Still p...

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New Rules
Aces representative received this email last week.  Addendum to last week’s official letter from COTHL management: New Rules to be enforced immediately. Hopefully everyone read our email from November 15 concerning our efforts to reduce the amount of chippi...

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The Old Men and The C
This week's post was written by special guest Ernest Hemingway. I'm looking at you, old men. They were an old team who played in a league called the COTHL and they had gone eighty-four days now without taking a win. In the first forty days a stick boy had b...

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A Poem
Spoken Word poet Fez5 performs an original composition at the most recent Nod Club Poetry Slam Open Mike Night and Marijuana Recipe Exchange the lights dim except for a solitary red spot shining on Fez5, a person of indeterminate age, heritage, gender, and ...

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Aces Season Forecast
Local hockey team the Black Aces continue to play the ‘long game’ in their quest for a record-breaking 6th consecutive COTHL title this year, skating themselves and rival squad the Wyse Guys to a 2-2 standstill in their most recent match. Team statistician ...

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Aces Give Thanks
Local hockey team the Black Aces celebrated Canadian Thanksgiving this past week by giving away a big lead against rivals the Bloor Battlers. Up 5-1 in the second, the blackshirts somehow decided that they were uncomfortable with such a commanding lead and ...

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Make the Aces Great Again
Transcript of a recent speech from POTUS #45, during the visit of Stanley Cup champions the Pittsburgh Penguins to the White House. * * * Hello, welcome to the White House… penguins is it? You don’t look like penguins. Penguins are much smaller and you guys...
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