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Geoffrey Romer
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There's an incompetent robin building a nest on our front porch, so the house is continually filled with the thump-thump-thump of it colliding with the window.

Joking about Trump's hand size: how is this still a thing?

Are you really telling me that you can't find anything to mock about him that's actually true? Or that deserves to be mocked? Or that is in some way important?

Remember, this is Donald Trump we're talking about. I don't feel like I'm asking for very much here.

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Juniper's just learning to write, and she's already using emoji.

The good news: it would seem that Trump is actually capable of experiencing horror at the suffering of innocents, and even innocents not of his own tribe. Until now I regarded this as an open question.

The bad news: our President's most influential advisor appears to be his television set.

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The article is good, but I think it overlooks an opportunity to make an important point: the fact that the PWC accountants have been "fired" from their Academy Award responsibilities reflects a natural but deeply misguided tendency to blame individuals for disasters, rather than the systems they participate in. Human error is an unavoidable fact of life, whereas systems can be fixed, so focusing on individual blame is a distraction. Furthermore, it's actively harmful, since it incentivizes people to conceal problems.

An exchange with Kael a couple days ago, as I headed for an escalator:

Kael: Dada, wait, that escalator is out of order!
Me: Yeah, you know what they call an escalator that's out of order?
Kael: I dunno, what?
Me: Stairs.
Kael: Oh, right!

Thank you, Mitch Hedberg.

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Marvel's music is famously mediocre in general, but this piece really pushes all my buttons. It's been stuck in my head for days.

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This cracked me up.
Lmao. "Go: What if we tried designing C a second time?" ‪#‎programming‬ ‪#‎humor‬

Juniper just took a look at my stomach and exclaimed with delight that I'm going to have a baby.

I think I need to lose some weight.

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All excellent questions. Unfortunately, thanks to the question for Ben Carson, I'm not going to be able to sleep tonight.
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