ETA: some parts of it smell a bit of tone policing, but on the other hand others are very sensible advice and can also be useful to help you better focus your efforts if you find you're experiencing burn-out due to being engaged in a lot of discourse about racism, sexism, ableism and other -isms and have trouble saving up energies/disengaging when the conversation is going nowhere. So, I'd say the article is a bit of a mixed bag but the good parts are worth reading.
Another common mistake is to assume that just because somebody has stated an opinion or position means that they’ve opened themselves up for debate, even if it’s in a “public” space such as on YouTube or Twitter. While I’m a believer in “you have a right to what you can defend”, there’s a time and a place for challenging others – and many people wrongly assume that’s “any time”. The fact that somebody is having a conversation on Facebook or Twitter doesn’t mean that they’re looking to take on all comers. Yes, they may not have their settings on “private”, but simply being in a “public” space doesn’t serve as an invitation for anybody to put their two cents in. Restaurants or shopping malls are also public spaces, but inserting yourself uninvited into somebody else’s conversation there is still rude.
Part of not being seen as a dickhead means recognizing that you can pick your battles. Some arguments are simply not worth having. You may enjoy a lively debate; that doesn’t mean everyone else does and trying to drag other people into it is a quick way to end up alone. Being “right” is a hollow victory when it comes with a side of “…and this is why nobody likes you.”
One of the biggest mistakes I see people make when they’re trying to express an unpopular or opposing opinion is that they aren’t having an argument, they’re having a fight. Arguments are about trying to change minds and bring someone around to your point of view. Fights, on the other hand, are about beating the other person either literally or metaphorically. (emphasis mine)