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Nicola Mitchell
Creating change - NLP
Creating change - NLP


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Earlier in the week I watched Loose Women whilst eating lunch & they asked the question;

Who is the Real You? & Do people have the wrong perception of you?

This got me thinking...A lot of us tend to bend to others expectations of us rather than allow ourselves to be real.

This is often because we worry that if we showed up as we truly are, saying, doing & feeling the real things that are going on for us without any censor we may upset or alienate those around us.

Whilst I acknowledge that we all have variations of ourselves depending on who we are with, being true to yourself is surely more important?
True Authenticity isn't about expressing your opinions all the time without any filter but more about being confident about what your opinions are & living your life in line with your Core's about being honest, self aware, humble & being able to take feedback from those around you...

Brene Brown, author, quote
"Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go who we think we are supposed to be & embracing who we actually are".

According to research by Psychologists Authenticity can lead to better coping strategies, a stronger sense of self worth, more confidence & a higher chance of achieving yr goals.

So isn't it time we all started to get Real??
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We all react to problems differently however tend to fall into 1 of 2 Mindsets.......

Victim or Survivor.

By favouring Victim mentality chances are you will tend to be pessimistic, feel a certain amount of self pity & blame everyone but yourself for your misfortunes.
You believe that life is beyond your control & things always happen to you. By falling into this way of thinking chances are you fail to learn from your mistakes, feel powerless which can lead to repressed anger. By waiting for things to happen & looking to others for solutions to your problems the result is often that you feel stuck & very hard done by

The flip side is Survivor Mentality.

You will tend to take the bull by the horns, look outside the box & take charge of situations. If you favour this mindset you will always look for solutions & ways to make things better.
Mistakes are used as stepping stones to move forwards & you take responsibility for the good & bad & look to yourself to resolve difficulties.
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What if I told you I can help to turn off this Internal Chatter ?
Just suppose you had a way of getting a good night's sleep without your brain sabotaging you ?
How would that feel ?
What difference would that make to your quality of life ?
Contact me to find out how NLP Coaching can help ...
Usually only takes one to two sessions too !
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Our thoughts are so powerful!

By flipping the script you are running in your head you are doing so much more than positive's why...
The cells in your body actually get addicted to the stress chemicals that are released into the brain when you think negative thoughts.

Ultimately thoughts are electro chemical impulses which means you are able to manipulate the type of chemicals released, either stress ones such as Cortisol & Adrenalin or feel good ones like Serotonin & Dopamine.
If you dwell on negative thoughts most of the time then not only do you feed the addiction you also allow these thoughts to filter through to your Subconscious mind.
Once rooted in there they then become your Mindset or Belief system.
Your Mindset is hugely important as it shapes your whole life!

The great news is we can all ‘re-jig’ our Mindset & ‘re-calibrate’ our brain.
Start off with the simple technique below to challenge the Status Quo & you will be on your way to pumping positive chemicals into your brain resulting in a more Can do attitude & making you feel on top of the world!

It literally is a No Brainer
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Some times we lose sight of why we started something in the first place or allow ourselves to get thrown off course by concentrating on obstacles or setbacks….

Change your focus to looking for the Possibilities rather than the impossibilities.

Focus on how you will feel once you have got there....what will you be doing differently?
What impact will the change have on your life?
Remember all the reasons why you started in the first place!

If it helps review your progress on a regular basis paying attention to what really works & make changes to what doesn't.

One of my favourite sayings is - “If nothing changes then nothing changes”!!
So take action...stay focused on the end result - the view from the top will be so worth it!!
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When I take on a new Coaching client I pay close attention to their Motivational Type as it will give me clues as to how they manage to get things done or not!
Motivation is the reason for our actions, desires and needs.

There are 2 kinds of Motivation.....Towards and Away From.

Towards - is when you are fuelled by something you want to have or feel.
Away From - is when it is something you really don't want to have or feel.
Both types have their uses however goals fuelled by ‘Towards’ tend to get done and stay done.

Here's why....

Towards - means you are clear in what you are aiming for, it has a direction and the closer you get to it the stronger your desire and drive is to achieve it. This approach is consistent and not at all stressful as the underlying emotions are positive and not driven by fear or anxiety.

It is the carrot in front of the donkey!

Away From - is all about getting away from feelings or situations you don't want or like. It is uncomfortable and often fear based, it's a stressful place to be. This approach will get a result but it is often short lived, it's inconsistent and you tend to remain stuck until the next thing comes along that you don't like.

It's the stick with the donkey!

Some ‘Away From’ is good to get you started, however having a 70/30 split favouring ‘Towards’ will get you where you want to be.

So be more carrot less stick!
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Creating Change in your life isn't always about making big changes.....

A great way of introducing a change is to use a Sentence Stem.

Think of something you would like to achieve, a small change you would like to make.

Next decide what needs to happen to make that happen! Do you need to change the way you think about it or the way you feel about it?

Once you know what you need more of - or some times it's less of - write it down in a sentence stem...e.g.

If I were to bring 5% more patience to my daily life I would be less stressed.

Focus on this Sentence over the next 2- 3 weeks.

Look at it every morning and make sure that you make a conscious effort to add that 5% every day in your thoughts and behaviour.

Before you know it that 5% change will have become automatic - a habit and part of your daily routine
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This year the focus is on STRESS.

Research shows that two thirds of us will experience Mental Health problems throughout our life. Health issues and stress are both contributing factors to this.

Stress is the body's reaction to any change that requires a response or adjustment. Adrenalin and Cortisol is released into the brain causing a Fight, Flight or Freeze response.

A certain amount of stress can actually be useful as it keeps us on our toes, alert and prepares us to take action.

Stress becomes negative when we continuously face challenges without any rest or relaxation, we become overloaded.

One way to take control of your stress is to firstly recognise the stressors in your life and to look at ways to reduce or eliminate them all together.

In order to manage your stress levels try this....

List the main areas that cause you to feel stressed and then highlight the common themes i.e. money, work etc.
Next look at ways of dealing with them by either changing your Action - ‘what you do’ or Attitude - ‘how you think and feel’ about them.

Another tip to managing your stress is to look at the Worst Case Scenario. Once you have accepted what that is you are then able to take action steps towards avoiding it. The changes needed will again fall into either changing your thoughts/attitude or behaviour/actions.

SO next time you can feel your blood pressure rising Stop, take a breath and apply the above and see what happens!
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The Problem with Goals.....

I have been working with a client recently on bringing his Big Grin Goals to life and for him to start taking action towards living his dreams.

We set about writing these Goals down and followed SMART in order to make them manageable but some how they still felt just out of reach for him. Literally like he was pushing his dreams in a wheelbarrow!

The problem was they just didn't feel attainable and more like a chore than a pleasure to work towards...

So we made one simple change.....His Goals became Projects. He changed the way he looked at them and changed his approach..... He is now smashing his goals and is well on the way to bringing his deepest desires into reality!

Here is what made all the difference....

Are in the future
You work towards them
You focus on results
You fail until the point you succeed

Are in the present
You are working on them
You focus on action
You are successful until you fail

So if you are struggling to achieve your goals use the above to change how you think and feel about them. Who knows what might happen!
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‘Acting As If’ is an NLP technique that is one of my personal favourites!

Its all about acting and thinking as if something is true and has already happened, it moves you towards your desired outcome, the thing that you want most of all.

One of its many uses is that it helps you to explore possibilities and ideas by allowing you to go beyond your own limiting beliefs and any obstacles that are in your way.

The beauty of using this technique on a regular basis is that you live your dreams now and allow reality to catch up!
You literally Act As If you have already achieved your outcome. The advantage of seeing yourself having achieved your desired result is that you are then able to track back to the present and identify the action steps you took to get there!

So the next time you have any limiting beliefs and nagging doubts about what you want to achieve or how you want to feel just begin to ‘Act As If’ you already have it and see the difference it makes to the way you think and act towards that situation.

The world literally is your oyster as you will start to solve problems before they even occur! It creates such a massive shift in your thinking.

Give it a go.......
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