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Michael Crider
freelance writer
freelance writer


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Turning in my badge and gun: farewell to +Android Police

Despite the apparent confusion of many, the people who work at Android Police are not actually police officers. We have neither badges or guns, because we're bloggers, and we only pursue justice in the most metaphorical sense. So unfortunately when I leave the website's staff at the end of the week, I won't have anything to hand over to founder Artem Russakovskii except my heartfelt thanks.

I've worked with Artem, David, and the rest of the team for almost five years - three officially on the roster, and another year and change in... other capacities. In that time I mostly focused on roundups, doing the games or app roundup most Mondays. I also covered a hell of a lot of news, most of the big live events in the mobile world, quite a few phone, tablet, and game reviews, and the odd editorial every once in a while.

I actually counted it up the other day: all in all I've done 232 roundups, covering over 7000 individual games and apps. I'm leaving that particular duty in the hands of Matt Scholtz, who's patiently learned my method over the last few weeks. I'm sure he'll do the tradition proud, and whatever changes he decides to enact as he makes the roundups his own will benefit the readers and the site.

I am enormously grateful to Artem for giving me the opportunity to work for Android Police. I say this without reservation: it's the best Android enthusiast site on the web, and under his leadership I'm sure it will continue to be.

Here are a few of my favorite articles from my time on the force:

My review of the Galaxy S7 Active, in which I tried to kill a cell phone with a washing machine.
My review of the Lenovo Yoga 2 Pro, which wanted me to buy Android games with Subway sandwiches. Yes, really.
Sympathy for the PR Agent, in which I try to see things from the other person's point of view.
This guide for developers on how to make a great Play Store listing. Devs, if you want your game in the weekly roundups, read it carefully.
This post on a fake anti-virus app that made national news. I didn't do the research, just the write-up. Still fun.
This expose on a con artist with a fake app development company. A collaboration with Artem, David Ruddock, and Liam Spradlin. I handled the IP theft section.
This article on one of the most horrifying games ever released on Android, or any other platform.
This news post about an Android Wear watch face disguised as Star Trek fan fiction.
This thumbnail image of a bugdroid masturbating to VR porn. Or this "artist's interpretation" of a Verizon-branded Sony phone. Or this one of AT&T's attitude towards its customers. Or the final form of my unofficial Verizon logo. Or this one with a text logo going Super Saiyan. I had possibly too much fun with Photoshop.
And my all-time favorite: a fictionalized account of a Verizon executive meeting.

So long, AP. It's been a blast.

Oh, I should probably add: if you want my job, Android Police is taking applications now.
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Hey mobile developers, PR agents, watch enthusiasts, and humans in general: don't work with +Marc Montagne. He's a grade A jackass.

No app roundup today - not enough new candidates. Sorry, I guess you'll just have to make do with the college football championship.

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Hi there.

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When you just won the World Series, but you still gotta make that eBay money
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Google's having a rough day.
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This year's best nomination to the SEO Spam Hall of Fame is "Download Nougat 7.0 Update For Microsoft Surface Pro 3."
The "comments" are great too, including "Just upgrade my galaxy, work perfect, thanks."

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I couldn't find a clip of Bubo the robo-owl (from the original Clash of the Titans) for my Twitter notification. So I made one. You're welcome.

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PR agents: if you ever see me in a bar, bring up this post and I will obligingly buy you a drink on the spot.

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I wrote this. I hope you'll read it.
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