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Linda Sharps
Works at Self-employed
Lives in Bellevue, WA
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Linda Sharps

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Linda Sharps

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File this under Freaky Things to Randomly Get Paranoid About: did you know you can develop a potentially deadly allergy as an adult, with no warning whatsoever? My brother in law had a bowl of clam chowder yesterday and a short time later found himself in the ER getting an epi shot (after swelling up so dramatically he couldn't even swallow a Benadryl) -- doctors told him he's now officially allergic to shellfish and has to carry an epi pen wherever he goes, just in case. Dude had zero troubles with shellfish before. Scary!
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Somewhere during my 27th year of life I developed a deadly allergy to teenagers complaining about their "problems". But it's not deadly to me. Sorry about your bro, I'm glad he's doing better than that teenager I was talking to the other day.
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Rude article, and yet ... Nothing Compares 2 Getting Old, does it? http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2013290/Sinead-OConnors-sad-slide-pops-ethereal-beauty.html
When she opens her mouth to sing, however, the years melt away. Dipping and soaring in effortless grace, here is the voice that launched her to stardom 20 years ago.
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That's a pretty crummy article.
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Linda Sharps

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Nothing like emailing a client in a tizzy about a supposedly missing paycheck only to discover the payment in my goddamned MAILBOX. Hi, I am a giant unprofessional douche.
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I just did this, except it turned out the payment wasn't here because I forgot to mail a form back about, oh, 6 months ago.
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Linda Sharps

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It was a portable DVD player for the kids, an incredibly detailed interactive map, a GPS, a library with unlimited books (and built-in nightlight), a computer for accessing the internet and email, and occasional family air hockey machine. All hail the iPad, best travel-related investment of all time.
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don't forget coloring book and puzzle generator.
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Linda Sharps

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"Other cultures seem to have a better approach to discipline than I do."
"That's racist!"

Oh, internet.
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I was surprised it didn't get a lot worse, actually.
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Linda Sharps

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My doctor's advice, paraphrased, upon observing my utterly non-SPF'd skin: "Are you . . . stupid?"

OKAY OKAY.
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Vitamin D!
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After reading a post that got me all intrigued with how much nicer my bed could be if I ironed the sheets, I gave it a shot. Result: 30 minutes of wrestling with an iron and king-sized sheets, sheets that puddled on the floor and got dirty/wrinkled as I went, a bed that looks basically just like it always does when the sheets are freshly laundered except with a few extra ironed-in wrinkles.

Well, you can't say I'm not willing to have first-hand knowledge when I say WORST. IDEA. EVER. in my best Comic Book Guy voice.
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I used to work with this woman - a distinguished Southern lady with perfectly applied makeup named "Carol Ann" like in The Way We Were. And she STARCHED her sheets. No lie.
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Went grocery shopping and bought only factory-farmed non-organic store-brand everything. Spent about 50% less. Goddamn.
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I bought a bag of fresh cherries - TEN DOLLARS!! God, no wonder we have an obesity epidemic in this country. You can get an entire meal at taco bell for $2.
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Linda Sharps

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Official Play-Doh motto: "Really, Just Never Worth It, Unless You ENJOY Picking Crap Out of Carpet Fibers.™"
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It's an outside toy around here.
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Linda Sharps

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You GUYS. Chocolate peanut butter Bugles, have you tried them? Yeah, totally disgusting pathetic approximation of "food" and okay FINE I bought them at a gas station quickie mart but OH MY GAH. Best junk food ever.
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Dude, Combos - specifically, the nacho kind. I'd snort them if I could.
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Linda Sharps

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Child has declared Yoda to be his favorite Star Wars character. Filing the adoption papers this afternoon. (BOBA FETT 4EVA!)
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Vader
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Have her in circles
1,567 people
Joseph boone's profile photo
patrick ocran's profile photo
Nurbi Gieelang's profile photo
Eappen Varghese's profile photo
Pierre Ex Magazine 60's profile photo
sammi liang's profile photo
Özkan Koz's profile photo
hussein mohamed's profile photo
César lop's-darg's profile photo
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Currently
Bellevue, WA
Previously
Portland, OR - Las Vegas, NV - Corvallis, OR - Manassas, VA
Work
Occupation
Writer
Employment
  • Self-employed
    Freelance Writer, present
Basic Information
Gender
Female
Relationship
Married
Other names
Whichello