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Eduard Ezeanu
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Eduard Ezeanu

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Some ways of challenging yourself though are better than others. The best ones in my view are the ones that meet 3 fundamental conditions:
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See Temple of Dawn. Check. See sun set over old part of Bangkok. Check. Killed two birds with one stone today.
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Eduard Ezeanu

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Sometimes it amazes me that there are still people who don’t have the concept of impulse control. Who think that when you desire something, the only option is to go for it, and the possibility of restraining yourself never even comes to their mind. 

The other day I was having coffee with some folks, and somebody offered me a doughnut, and I said: “No thanks, I don’t eat donuts.” 

And they gave me a look of shock which was almost saying for them: “What? You actually decide consciously what to eat instead of eating whatever you crave in that moment?!” We talked a bit about food choices and they were so surprised by the idea of deliberately managing your eating habits.

I find this puzzling, because I see impulse control as such a basic factor for living a happy, healthy and prosperous life. Of course, there are serious limits to how much we can consciously control our impulses, but still, a little restraint exercised at the right moment, in the right area of life, can go a very long way. 

And the concept isn’t novel. Ancient philosophers talked about impulse control (usually referred to as self-restraint) as one of the pillars of the good life. Yet here we are, 2000 years later, and some people still don’t have a clue about this notion. 

Let’s make it spread. It’s too important to go unnoticed. 
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Eduard Ezeanu

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Something that to this day still intrigues me is the tendency many people have to eagerly follow somebody's advice regarding one area of life just because that person is very successful in a completely different area of life. 

Like, for instance, taking relationship advice from Rihanna, because you love her music. Hey, I like her music too, and I think she's an amazing artist. But that doesn't mean she knows what she's talking about when it comes to relationships. Judging from her own relationship experience (which I admit, I'm not overly familiar with), I'd say she's actually quite bad at relationships and probably has little to teach others in this area. 

The thing is that our minds are inclined to generalize competency and authority. So if a person has a lot of competence and authority in one field, we automatically deem them as having competence and authority in other fields as well. In this complex, multifaceted world though, the reality is that only a small number of skills are transferable to a wide range of areas.

So pay attention to how much credibility you give to a person's advice, and why you do it in the first place. 

More on how the human mind overgeneralizes and what you can do about it in this article I wrote: http://goo.gl/qV7btG
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Eduard Ezeanu

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When you spend 60+ hours per week doing a job you hate, all you dream of is being able to quit your job and spend all your time on a sunny beach, doing nothing but sipping Pina Coladas. 

I’ve had a period in my life when I would spend nearly all day, every day on a sunny beach just sipping Pina Coladas. And you know what I discovered? After a relatively short while, it gets really fucking boring! 

I mean, it feels terrific for a few days if you’re burned-out from too much work, And it’s awesome in comparison with the alternative of working like a slave in a soul-sucking job. But it shouldn’t be your ideal. 

I believe the ideal is to spend your time doing things that are either:

1. Exciting,
2. Meaningful, or,
3. Both. 

You’re not making the best out of life by doing nothing. You’re making the best out of life by keeping your mind and body stimulated, and by making a difference in this world. 

With or without a real job, that time spent on a beach doing nothing still makes the most sense if it’s only an occasional component of your life. Rest and relaxation is not a lifestyle; it’s a part of a lifestyle.
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Something that I think is becoming critically important nowadays is the way we handle information as we seek to learn and better our lives. 

Publishing information has never been easier than it is today. With the advent of the Internet and the rise of digital publishing, getting your ideas out there is now something that almost anyone can do. And thus, the amount of published information in the form of books, articles, videos and courses is growing exponentially. 

I think this is mostly a good thing, but is also poses certain problems. One big problem in my perspective is the fact the volume of junk, low-quality information getting published and becoming publicly available is growing at an incredible rate. Because the entry barriers to publishing are now so low and, let’s face it, many people overestimate the practical value of what they have to say. 

The amount of high-quality information is growing but the amount of bad information is growing even more. So we’re heading towards a point where, in many fields, we’ll have a whole lot of rotten content, and burred in it some real gems of information by very competent authors.

In such a circumstance, if you just consume the readily available information, assume it’s good and rely on it entirely, you’re dead. We need to learn to research for quality information, to evaluate it using critical thinking as we consume it, to identify the best information, to organize it, to apply it consistently, and to quickly put aside information that proves impractical. 

There’s your golden skill for the 21st century: treating information effectively. Being a shrewd learner. 

First posted here: http://goo.gl/0kVVMq 
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Eduard Ezeanu

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I am fascinated by how the fast changes in technology over the past few years have impacted the way we share pieces of our lives with others. 

Just two decades ago, you could only take 36 photos with a roll of film, then it took days to develop the film and print the photos, and if you wanted your friends to see them you had to invite them over or go visit them. Remember those days? 

Now you can take thousands of photos with a digital camera and upload them on the web in just a few minutes for everyone to see. Wanna share a moment with others? Just snap a photo with your smartphone, post it on Facebook and you’re done. 

However, I think we haven’t properly adapted yet to these major changes. Because we still record and share stuff the way we used to. 

The principle we operate on is still “record and share as much as you can with a moderate amount of effort”.

A few years ago that meant taking two dozen pictures every year and showing them to a few close friends and relatives. Today it means we share a huge amount of our experiences, including many trivial details, with people for whom they have little or no relevance. 

It’s so easy to record and share stuff these days that we end up doing it waaaay to much. We’re overusing our ability to put information out there. 

Just look at the amount of minutia a lot of folks share on Facebook and you’ll know what I’m talking about. I mean, really, do you need to post pictures of every meal you have? Some people are getting pretty tired of seeing omelets and sausages on their wall all the time. 

I think we need to learn a new way of recording and sharing experiences, which is based on moderation. We need to realize that technology no longer imposes the limits it did a few years ago, and so it’s our duty to set our own limits, by taking into consideration what others would genuinely want to find out about us and our lives. 

Sharing anything you can from your life with anyone you can is not caring. It’s more like mindless attention-seeking. Share with others in mind. 
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Eduard Ezeanu

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Eduard Ezeanu

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I have this gift/curse of being good at making others feel really comfortable when talking to me, which makes them lower their defenses and open up a lot. I guess it’s one of the reasons why I became a coach.

Over the years, a lot of people have shared with me very intimate details about themselves and their lives, details they rarely, if ever, talk about with others. You could say I’ve learned many of their “secrets”. This helped me realize a few important things about people in general. Here are 5 of them, in no particular order.

# The vast majority of people have a lot of insecurities, but they’re also pretty good at hiding them.

# Most people are pretty confused about what’s important to them and where their life is heading.

# That person who’s extremely nice to you all the time probably has a lot of piled up resentment inside and likely hates your guts.

# A lot of your friends and acquaintances would wanna be in your shoes in many ways (yes, your shoes), even though they may not state it.

# Infidelity is a lot more common than many people think. Traditional relationships are very rarely as bright and functional as they seem from the outside.

How does that make you feel? 

First posted on my blog: http://goo.gl/BjvC2C
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Eduard Ezeanu

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Usually when one area of your life starts going down the hill (your job is becoming less engaging, your relationship is losing its spark, you’re getting out of shape, you’re drinking too much) there will be very early clues suggesting this. 

If you keep your eyes wide open and you’re vigilant, you can pick up these early clues and address the problem as it’s just beginning to emerge, which happens to also be when it’s the easiest to solve. 

But most of us don’t do that. In fact, not only that we’re not vigilant enough to read the early signs of trouble, we’re the exact opposite. We don’t even see the middle sign of trouble. And often, even when the obvious sign of trouble have emerged, we ignore them and pretend the problem doesn’t exist. 

It’s only when the problem has become so painstakingly clear a blind man could see it from a mile away that we finally acknowledge it. The trouble is by this point the problem has likely become so grave and deep that it’s almost impossible to solve. 

Your career is a mess, your relationship is a mess, or you’re a mess, and it takes a whole lot of work to clean this mess up. And all you can think of is how things would have been much easier to deal with if you would have paid attention to the early sign of trouble and done something right then. 

Keep your eyes open. Don’t deny your problems and run away from them. Accept them and face them. You’ll still have to face them one day, only by the time you decide to do so, the monster under the bed may have gotten a whole lot bigger. 

First posted here: http://goo.gl/3MW7f
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Have him in circles
195 people
Dirk de bruin's profile photo
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Confidence and Communication Coach
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I'm a confidence and communication coach with 6+ years of experience, I've coached clients from over 20 countries, on 5 continents, ranging from students and young professionals to CEOs and millionaires, and my confidence and communication courses have been purchased by over 3000 people.

I live a location independent lifestyle, I dance salsa and west coast swing, I love psychology and I’m terrible with directions.
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