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Jonathan Doyle
227 followers -
Media Entrepreneur, Blogger, Speaker, Author
Media Entrepreneur, Blogger, Speaker, Author

227 followers
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heres the latest video that i've put together for senior decision makers at Catholic education offices.
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Heres my latest video intro to the Weekly Podcast
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What crucial virtue is central for Catholic teachers? #catholiceducation  #catholicteacher
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This is just plain beautiful!
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HELP!

If you have ever heard me live or on audio could you post a review on ITUNES?
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Here's the full transcript of my latest podcast:


Well hi there once Jonathan Doyle with you once again for the weekly podcast.  It’s been a couple of weeks.  I’ve been really busy with the launch of the new book, so apologies that we haven’t had weekly podcasts for a couple of weeks, but I’ve got some really good stuff this week that I want to share with you.  Lots of travel has been happening… down in Melbourne last week speaking at a big conference there which was great, and off to London, in a couple of week’s time, which is gonna be really amazing – gonna check out the new A380 – looking forward to flying over there – up the pointy end where it’s nice and comfy; so we’re looking forward to that trip, really looking forward to getting back to London.  It’s been really quite a few years since I was last there, so, excited about that trip and really excited about having this time with you today.

If you haven’t grabbed a copy of the new book Bridging The Gap then either click on the email, or go to the website and grab yourself a copy because it’s having a big impact on people – the feedback has been amazing.  I had one person last week order 230 copies for their organisation – 230 copies which was really cool, so I hope you’ll grab a copy and just get those ideas into your life because honestly, I’m using them all the time.  The worst thing, I might have said before, about writing a book like this is that you actually have to live up to the principles.  It’s really easy to kind of, you know, talk this stuff and then, you know, do whatever privately but when you’ve actually got it in writing…  And I I’ve found that when I’ve faced certain challenges – even in the last few months – just challenges in business or you know, friendships and in life and parenting and all that stuff, then, I keep remembering[h] the Eight Principles, going man if you are gonna write this stuff, then you’d actually better be living it.

So, as always, when I prepare for the weekly podcast what I try and do is stay present during the days before recording, just to whatever life’s gonna bring up.  And it’s amazing how if you’re attentive, if you are mindful, just how much life is trying to teach you.  Life is always trying to communicate to you and there are so many amazing lessons and messages, that we probably miss all the time.  Where I live we’ve got an amazing view of the mountains off the top of our front balcony and just last night – you know, it’s been really hot here – and I was out there on the balcony and just seeing this amazing sunset, that was really windy and hot and it’s just so…you know, really beautiful, and I just stopped and I went well wow, this is happening all the time; you know, how often am I really mindful of this?  

So, I’ve often said it: let’s be switched on to what’s happening around us all the time, the little messages that are there.  And, you know, speaking about that kind of concept, yesterday life handed me one of those messages big time and the cool thing is that I now get to share that message with you.  So, what was the message?  Well, as you know if you’re a regular listener, I have two major obsessions in life: cycling and golf, and um, I was out on the golf course yesterday, the weather was amazing, it was just fantastic and I’m usually pretty busy right, so I…I get out of the office, I’m on a schedule, I get straight to the course, I do some practice, say hi to a few people, but then, ‘cos I’ve got a young family, I want to get back in time, you know for dinner and time to help with the kids and do reading and all that sort of stuff.  So I’m usually pretty keen to get out there, and at, you know the time of day I go, there’s not a lot of people there, so usually I get a pretty clear run.  But not yesterday.

So, I’m down the first hole, I birdied the first, par five – if you know golf you know that’s a good thing[h] – and um, I’m feeling really good here.  So I come to the second tee and I see these two people in front of me I hadn’t seen before.  There was a lady and there was another sort of younger person there and I didn’t think much of it, went to the second tee and then I find them kind of, you know half way up the Fairway.  And they’re sort of talking and they’re taking a long time, and they’re doing a lot of practice swings and… If you’ve ever played golf and especially if you’re really into golf, it’s a game with a lot of etiquette; there’s a lot of rules about what you do.  And one of the big things is just playing through quickly, just, you know keeping the whole pace moving if there’s lots of people out there.  So there’s a whole bunch of little, tiny little rules that golfers know about what you do and what you don’t do.  So there I am, waiting to tee off and there’s these two people there and they’re not doing a great job at the whole etiquette thing.  So I’m doing the hole, you know, trying to be calm but that didn’t last very long.  It’s not something I naturally [h]do, not something I do easily.  So, you know, I’m sort of doing the hands on the hips thing; trying to send some body language 200 metres up the Fairway, then the arms crossed thing, trying to send more body language and getting really frustrated.  And finally I teed off and they’d moved up a bit, and they’re on the green at this stage.  And then er, well I did a pretty good drive so I was, you know, ready to…ready to hit an approach shot to the green, and they’re on the green, they’re taking a long time…and er, you know so basically I hit my tee shot, well I hit my second shot, I’m on the green, I walk up there and I’m sort of waiting to putt.  Now basically the next thing is they should let me tee off right – they should not tee off on the third tee, and let me come through. And they’re sort of doing that, and I’m thinking…I was so…you know, at this stage I was pretty wound-up – I’ve got to be honest.  I’m not gonna lie to you on the weekly podcast.  I was pretty wound-up.  I was like, you know, you’ve broken the rules, this is a sacred game, you’ve done all the wrong stuff, and I was thinking, you know, I was actually thinking…I was gonna be pretty blunt.  Now… you know because it’s… sometimes when people do the wrong thing you’ve gotta be able to say ‘Hey, that’s not cool’ and be able to say that to them.

So I get there and a long story short, it turns out that the lady was actually a member of the management committee from the Golf Club, and she was an absolutely lovely lady and she introduces me to this younger player who’s probably about 14 years of age, who was sort of coming through on a mentoring programme and was learning about the game and was, you know, just getting their first ever golf handicap in place, and this lovely lady, Donna, she was teaching this young guy all the rules and teaching him the ins-and-outs, so it was taking a bit longer.  But, you know, Donna was really apologetic, really friendly, came up and introduced herself, explained what was happening…

So, I hope you can see what the message is about to be here.  So rewind a little bit and here I am on the second hole thinking all these terrible things.  I’m thinking, you know, this is absolutely terrible, I can’t believe these people…how they don’t know the rules – getting so wound up.  My, my whole peace, my whole Zen thing – straight out the window.  And I’m just, you know, really wound up.  And I’m thinking…once I discovered what was actually the case, I had this huge insight that all that sort of negative, that sort of wound-up energy was a huge waste, because it wasn’t based on reality – why?  Because I couldn’t know what reality actually was.  I had no way of knowing at Point A that these people were under an unusual circumstance.  So what do I do?  I looked at a circumstance and I applied a big meaning to it. 

Now we’re rational beings fair enough, so we can look at things and evaluate them and often we can make pretty good evaluative judgments.  But we have to be aware that sometimes we make terrible ones, we make the complete wrong ones.  Now how many times have you thought you know, somebody’s been in a bad mood or they’ve done something and you’ve applied that to yourself?  You’ve gone oh it must have been something I did, or I said, and so reality was happening but you were applying, or I was applying the complete wrong meaning to it – the wrong evaluation.

So how many times is that happening in our lives?  You know, somebody cuts you off in traffic and you know the meaning could be, you know, this person’s a psychopath and they’re ruining my life and I have to kill them and get a gun – and all that crazy stuff – when it could be they’re racing to get to a hospital.  So, I guess the first question is: What would you life be like if you didn’t…you know, if you didn’t rush to make these evaluative judgments so fast?  What would you life be like, what would your marriage be like, your work environment, if you are able to kind of just, you know, slow a fraction, and really think about what was happening?  

Now if you’ve read Stephen Covey I mean going…this is going way back to the Seven Habits, you know he really talks about this.  You know, I think he coined the idea that the smallest space in the world is the space between stimulus and response.  So the most important space is when, you know, something happens to us – a stimulus.  So what was my stimulus yesterday?  It was being on a golf course and these people are, objectively it’s true, this is a fact, they were doing something frustrating.  But then there’s my response.  So what’s my response?  Honestly?  Er, elevated blood pressure, probably my heart rate, my brain’s secreting all these sorts of neurochemicals and I’m applying a huge meaning to it.  Now it was the wrong meaning.  Because that’s not what was happening at all; they weren’t being rude, they weren’t being dismissive, they weren’t disrespecting me.  They were doing something, you know, unusual, it wasn’t…you know we don’t do that at the course every day, what they were doing, but it was just totally cool.  But I had the wrong judgment.

So I guess I want to suggest a few things here.  Firstly, and this I think originally came from Tony Robbins.  You know, he does a lot of great stuff on saying, ‘What else could this mean?’ and I guess I’d rephrase that as saying, ‘What else could be happening here?’  What else could be happening here?  You know, I’m on the golf course and I’m seeing these people and I guess I could be saying to myself: what else could be happening here – this is unusual, I wonder what it means?  When you frame questions in your brain, when you give your brain a question, it’s often likely to come up with a better answer – especially if you’re in a good state.  If you’re really wound up and stressed and you say, you know, why does that person do this?, then your brain’s gonna go, er, because you’re stupid [h].  You know it’s gonna give you the wrong answer if you’re really in a bad place.  But if you’re in a calm place, if you’re sort of relaxed and curious and ask yourself questions like ‘What else could be happening here?  What else does this mean?  I wonder why this person’s doing that?  You know if you frame those sorts of questions, you can get a really different outcome.  

And I guess the next thing I want to suggest is, why suffer prematurely?  You know, if we’re gonna suffer – if…you know, maybe these people were really rude, maybe they were just objectively rude on the golf course and they were just the rudest golf people in the world, and they were like ‘Hey there’s some guy behind us on the tee, screw him, he can just wait’.  Now, fair enough, I’ve gotta deal with that somewhere on the golf course.  Somewhere on the golf course I am going to have to deal with that issue.  Now but how about I deal with it when I get up to them, or how about I deal with it when there’s a chance, like when I can actually do something.  Why suffer prematurely? 

And, you know, the great um, the great communicator John Powell said many years ago, you know, the worst suffering is on the way to the dentist.  You know the worst suffering…if you’re really terrified of dentists…and you know I’m lucky, and dentists have never really bothered me, but, you know… if you’re scared of dentists, you know often it can be the night before, the day before, weeks before, where you know, you’re suffering in advance; you’re stressed and [h] miserable and anxious before you even get there.  And I figure hey, if you’re gonna go to the dentist why not just get really anxious when you sit your butt on the chair?  I mean why do you all[h]…’cos you can’t change it – you have to go.  So, it’s a fascinating insight: why suffer prematurely?  You know, why not find out what’s actually happening before we make the decision to go: this is absolutely terrible.

You know and this is… you know if any of this sounds kind of ‘New Age’ or business speak or corporate speak… um, many years ago I had a chance to read the incredible Paradise Lost by Milton, and there’s an amazing quote in it where Milton says: ‘The mind is it’s own place and can make a hell of Heaven or a heaven of Hell’.  So hear that again: ‘The mind is it’s own place’ – you know it’s a unique place, ‘and it can make a hell of Heaven or a heaven of Hell’.  I mean this was, you know, Milton writing Paradise Lost.  This is like one of the greatest minds in Literature having this incredible insight and accurate insight saying that, you know, the mind is, is capable of turning Heaven into Hell if it wants to, or Hell into Heaven. 

So do you see that power that’s there?  You know, gosh, the longer I do this and I look at my own life and as I say many times, I’m growing, I am learning, but our mind’s are so powerful.  

So I want you to think of a circumstance that you are facing now: a difficult relationship; a friendship that’s broken down; or something that’s happening at work; or with your kids or…whatever your circumstance is – reframe: what else could it mean?  You know, what else could be happening?  Why suffer prematurely?  Why not ask better questions and see if you can come up with a better idea or a better way of dealing with it.  

You know, as I was preparing for this I thought reality is happening all the time.  You know, reality just happens.  Gravity happens, the Seasons…reality objectively is taking place all the time, but we impose meaning on it.  You know just this morning I was riding um…I ride down to school with my daughter and it’s really cool.  You know she’s, she’s really little, and she gets on her bike and I get on my bike, and we ride down – it’s great.  And today there was a couple of other kids that sort of tagged along.  And we cut through this park and somebody in this park has built these kind of big dirt jumps where, you know BMX riders can jump over the jumps.  So I cut through there, I’m going over these jumps just slowly and my daughter comes through and then one of these other kids – about the same age – kind of gets, sort of, not really freaked out, but just, you know doesn’t really wanna do it, and slowed their bike down and got to the top of the jump, and their face changed, and they’re…you know they’re whingeing, and they’re kind of like, ‘I don’t like going this way, I wanna go on the path, and the snapshot I had was kind of watching three different kids, you know having a different, evaluative response to what was happening.  So my daughter and one of the other kids, they’re like ‘how cool is this?’ you know we’re in school uniform, we’re hammering on our bikes, we get to ride dirt jumps – you know, they’re excited. But this other kid, you know was kind of really miserable and this exciting jump was not exciting, it was miserable.  But whatever, whoever had the right response isn’t the point.  Here’s the point: reality was happening. What was the reality?  There was a jump.  And, you know, the difference was that three people brought different cognitive belief systems to that jump.  And you can say they had different life experience and maybe some kids had done more and they were more confident, but can you get that reality was happening – that there were givens, there were just sort of physical givens in the environment, but the real difference was the meaning imposed on it.

So, I’m challenged by that.  I’m really challenged by that.  You know I’ve gotta learn constantly to grow and to apply better meanings to things.  And I think it could really help you too.  So summary: choose a better meaning.  Why suffer on the way to the dentist? You know, sometimes if you are anxious about something that’s happening you’ve just gotta ask, you’ve got to ask better questions – what’s really happening here?  You know you’ve got to step up, face those fears and get a better meaning. 

So that’s it for this week.  I want you to grab a copy of the book, click through the website, grab a copy of Bridging The Gap – it is really cool.  Um, you know, they’re not expensive, I’m not making a billion dollars here, I love this book and I’m really convinced and convicted by it and I want you to read it because some of those ideas in there are gonna be really powerful for you.

So, if you’ve liked this podcast share it with some other people, jump into I-Tunes, post a comment, but share the link with people; get these ideas in other people’s heads and say hey, listen to this, it’s really good stuff.

So I’m Jonathan Doyle…post a comment under here, under the podcast if you’d like to.  Let me know what you think and I’ll be speaking to you again next week on the weekly podcast.
 

#success   #goals  #business
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HERE'S MY LATEST PODCAST

This week I explore the power of reframing and of asking better questions. Life is unfolding around us all the time but often we bring the wrong associations and assumptions to what is happening. This can be a major source of stress. Reframing is a simple but powerful tool that helps you to come at a problem or difficult situation in a new way.

#reframing   #success   #goals   #growth   #jonathandoyle  
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MY LATEST VIDEO

The power of story can make a huge difference in life. With so much bad news driving the news cycle, the power of story, of a moving and powerful human story, can spur us on to new directions in life.

So much of our modern culture is really dumbed down. Much of our entertainment and art is based around sensationalism and shock. In a similar way, much of social media can also be pretty vacuous.

Recently I have been reading some amazing biographies and I was struck by how moving and motivating it can be to learn about some of the great figures of history as well as some of the lesser known figures who also did extraordinary things.

My message this week is that we need to take time to read the stories and biographies of people who made a difference in the world. The power of biography is that it reveals to us the very human but simultaneously extraordinary journeys of people who lived life in compelling and noteworthy ways.

The Power of Story
Colonel Weary Dunlop
Recording this video was inspired by the biography I am reading right at the moment on the life of Weary Dunlop. His sacrifice and heroism along with a deep compassion for others is deeply inspiring and moving. His story is all about hard work, love for others and a deep sense of duty. Despite the depravity, violence and suffering that surrounded him he found a way to serve others and in that service lived a life that shines down through the years that have followed.

Why does the power of story matter?

The power of story is central to our human experience. Why? It's because narrative and story lie at the very core of our emergence into communities and tribes over thousands of years.

So why waste another day? Grab a good biography and allow the lives of some amazing people to move you toward your own amazing potential.

Make sure you grab my new book HERE
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