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James Burns

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This is Ingress "Glyph hack" workbook for kids!
To be an elite Ingress agent!
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OPERATION MATAHARI
Date: August 9 2014
MU Count: 659,701,766

To coincide with August 9th anomalies over Taipei, Kuala Lumpur and Hong Kong, agents across many countries and continents executed Operation Matahari to capture a large portion of South East Asia. Agents participated on the ground in South Korea, Taiwan, the Philippines, Indonesia, India, Vietnam, Australia, China, Hong Kong, Mauritius, Sri Lanka, Thailand, Maldives and Malaysia with global intel and operator support. 

Planning for Operation Matahari began upon the announcement of the Asian anomaly sites on July 4th 2014. Senior agents from all countries discussed and collaborated thoughts and ideas for the plan. In setting up the plan, significant key movements occurred across Asia and Australia, which included two Australian agents making a dedicated trip to Seoul to deliver keys from Western Australia and a last minute key transfer from Indonesia to India. Agents in all countries  travelled many kilometers, caught many flights and spent many late nights planning and implementing Operation Matahari. 

After weeks of intensive planning, at 0400GMT agents in India, Indonesia, Taiwan, Sri Lanka, Maldives and the Philippines were in position to drop blocking links along linking corridors, although Resistance agents in the Philippines were fighting hard for the same corridor to megafield the volatile connected cell site of Manila. After a hard fought battle, the Enlightened were able to hold a corridor to the east of Manila. In Sri Lanka, Maldives and India, agents were required to be scrambled after a Resistance megafield operation over the connected cell site of Coimbatore resulted in the corridor to Mauritius being blocked. Agents in Taiwan fought hard to control the Strait between Taiwan and China as the Resistance battled to create and maintain links between the two countries. However, the Enlightened were able to set up strategic blocking links to clear the corridor. In Indonesia, agents across the entire country executed a well planned link blocking and clearing strategy.

After the hard work of agents in clearing the linking corridors and dedicated agents captured portals in Lampung and Daintree, agents in South Korea and Western Australia were able to create control fields between the two key anchor points to Daintree in Queensland and Lampung in Indonesia creating 561,708,405 mind units. Australian agents travelling to Vietnam for the operation were then able to link from Can Dao to Lampung and to Shore Temple, south of Chennai, with the Indian agents then closing the field and, along with Western Australian agents, linking to Mauritius after a portal was lit green by a dedicated Mauritian agent capturing a further 97,993,361 mind units. The operation captured a combined total of 659,701,766 mind units for the Enlightened.

Operation Matahari was an amazing experience and a true demonstration of how Ingress can bring people of different nationalities, cultures and languages together. Well over 130 Agents were involved and were primarily in the field.

We would like to acknowledge and thank the following Agents for the contributions to this Operation. Their Agent Names, Locations and Roles are as follows:

@CupuGan                     Indonesia Coordinator
@yozelectric                 Indonesia Coordinator
@posisi69                      Sumatera, Indonesia Field Agent
@zizkulerr                      Sumatera, Indonesia Field Agent
@ARVodka                     Sumenep, Indonesia Field Agent
@Gannes                        Sumenep, Indonesia Field Agent
@MoncheL                     Bangkalan, Indonesia Field Agent
@Reszandroid               Bangkalan, Indonesia Field Agent
@Fr33pr0xy                    Makassar, Indonesia Field Agent
@Ichalrauf                       Makassar, Indonesia Field Agent
@lonehack                      Samarinda, Indonesia Field Agent
@rotwailler                      Samarinda, Indonesia Field Agent
@DYonS                           Batam, Indonesia Field Agent
@afterawake                  Batam, Indonesia Field Agent
@catalystro                    Pramuka Island Field Agent
@eyerizq                          Pramuka Island Field Agent
@Voidless                        Indonesia Intel
@CapressSingkong       Indonesia Intel
@THOMZZ                       Indonesia Transfers
@dotmelie                        Perth, Western Australia Operator
@RigilKent                       Canberra, Australia Capital Territory Lead Operator
@zyrorl                              Brisbane, QLD, Australia Operator
@130spectre                   New Zealand Intel
@renegades                     Exmouth, Western Australia Planning / Linking
@AubinPhoenix               Exmouth, Western Australia Linking
@BobKeever                    Exmouth, Western Australia Linking
@shamblatron                 Cairns, QLD, Australia Field Agent
@TroutWA                        Perth, Western Australia Intel
@MrShiggles                    Queensland, Australia Planning
@KudraKalliope               Melbourne, Australia Planning / Transfers
@hazbot                           Vietnam (from Perth, Australia) Linking / Transfers
@zequib                            Vietnam (from Perth, Australia) Linking / Transfers
@hyrra                               Perth, Western Australia Travel Agent
@zedx Perth, Western Australia Transfers
@zedxxx Perth, Western Australia Transfers
@FlippedOut                   Canberra, Australian Capital Territory Intel
@ParrotHerder               Perth, Western Australia Intel
@SummerFreight           Taiwan Field Agent / Coordinator
@GV4WKK3R                  Taiwan Field Agent
@naihsi                             Taiwan Coordinator / Planning
@CBWReborn                  Taiwan Field Agent
@Dannis                           Taiwan Field Agent
@BillWu                             Taiwan Field Agent
@songelai                         Taiwan Field Agent
@Kotei                                Taiwan Field Agent
@Refresh                            Taiwan Field Agent
@Minna                             Taiwan Field Agent
@Realityghost                 Taiwan Field Agent
@CrazyRed                       Taiwan Field Agent
@SinpeR                            Taiwan Field Agent
@sjliao                                Taiwan Field Agent
@HuskyTsai                      Taiwan Field Agent
@YUWEN7439                  Taiwan Field Agent
@macphilwen                   Taiwan Field Agent
@MomoChang                  Taiwan Field Agent
@ddss                                South Korea Linking
@DongHaerang                South Korea Planning / Linking
@DongSlady                      South Korea Field Agent
@fantasist                         South Korea Field Agent
@Gwadu                             South Korea Coordinator / Linking
@kurt0kor                          South Korea Linking
@MagnusCaesar             South Korea Linking
@mNobds                           South Korea Field Agent
@neobro                              South Korea Field Agent
@neoJaein                         South Korea Field Agent
@serrasea                          South Korea Field Agent
@TuathaDeDanann         South Korea Field Agent
@LectricRed                      Mauritius Field Agent
@QUBlT                               Philippines Coordinator/Field Agent
@batrachotoxin                 Philippines Coordinator
@yhanie                               Philippines, Laoag City Field Agent
@Mharfrid                            Philippines, Laoag City Field Agent
@yabie                                  Philippines, Bolinao Field Agent
@flipsideyabie                    Philippines, Bolinao Field Agent
@strike1                               Philippines, Bolinao Field Agent
@abarkiz                              Philippines, Bolinao Field Agent
@NekoBitcheza                 Philippines, Baler Field Agent
@aces                                   Philippines, Baler Field Agent
@TheSorr0w                        Philippines, Baler Field Agent
@jiquejick                             Philippines, Baler Field Agent
@RazielArchangel              Philippines, Baler Field Agent
@morlock2k                         Philippines, Baler Transfers
@claune                                Philippines, Puerto Galera Field Agent
@BryndenRivers                 Philippines, Puerto Galera Field Agent
@Pertog                                Philippines, Lucena City Field Agent
@g3stalt                               Philippines Coordinator
@2008006267                    Philippines Coordinator
@boycoolit                          Philippines, Pangasinan Field Agent / Transfers
@DesCreator                       Philippines, Batangas Field Agent
@kichizzle                        Philippines, Batangas Field Agent
@buffer                          Philippines, Bataan Field Agent
@azooomer                   Philippines, Calamba City Field Agent
@lcarus                          Philippines, Calamba City Field Agent
@coldqueen                   Philippines, Rizal Field Agent
@larab                            Philippines, Rizal Field Agent
@ogetsu                         Philippines, Rizal Field Agent
@DamingAlam              Philippines, Rizal Field Agent
@DylanQ                         Philippines, Rizal Field Agent
@FataIgear                     Philippines, Bulacan Field Agent
@Nijikiharu                     Philippines, Bulacan Field Agent
@youngacts                   Philippines, Bulacan Field Agent
@Vodka24                      Philippines, Nueva Ecija Field Agent
@SageProcyon              Philippines, Zamboanga Transfers
@dj4shots                       Philippines, Baguio City Field Agent
@nhatarakhi               Philippines, Pampanga Field Agent
@FocusPeaking         Philippines, Pampanga Field Agent
@ilLunggoy                Philippines, Cebu Field Agent
@looowrider              Philippines, Cebu Field Agent
@Aristutle                   Philippines, Cebu Field Agent
@cogitare                    Philippines, Cebu Field Agent
@Soliloquium            Philippines, Cebu Field agent
@omang                      Philippines, Cebu Field Agent
@Rayvier                      Philippines, Cebu Field Agent
@Githyanki                   Philippines, Samar Field Agent
@ChaozOne                 Philippines, Cebu Intel
@Stormbow                   Philippines, Samar Intel
@Rewyred                        Philippines, Pampanga Field Agent
@XT08995                        Philippines, Pampanga Field Agent
@Knytmare                        Philippines, Cavite Field Agent
@tababs                            Philippines, Cavite Field Agent
@nevernivlac                   Philippines, Cavite Field Agent
@littlerealm                      Philippines, Cavite Field Agent
@slapstick8                       Philippines, Cavite Field Agent
@malidtangmanika         Philippines, Cavite Field Agent
@Bonifacio                        Philippines Field Agent
@n3ith4n                           Philippines, Naga City Transfers
@maykalabao                   Philippines, Naga City Transfers
@remusred007                 Philippines, Naga City Transfers
@t4nj3nt                               Philippines, Naga City Transfers
@chelseashells                  Philippines, Naga City Transfers
@angeliej                              Philippines, Naga City Transfers
@ultrasn0w                          Colombo, Sri Lanka Field Agent
@SLpooh                               Colombo, Sri Lanka Field Agent
@IFeelYouJohanna            Colombo, Sri Lanka Field Agent
@lordrodriguez                    Colombo, Sri Lanka Field Agent
@Izic                                       Malé, Maldives Field Agent
@Aquinn                                 Malé, Maldives Field Agent
@WashtaNerada                   Maldvies    Standby
@Ashamnx                             Maldives  Field Agent
@DavidClark                           Maldives     Field Agent
@Alzh                                       Bangalore, India Operator for Coimbatore / Intel 
@d00mslayer                         Bangalore, India Operator for Coimbatore / Planning Coimbatore / Field Agent / Transfer
@sheldor                                  Bangalore, India Planning Coimbatore / Linking / Transfers / Coordinator
@vertigo911                            India Field Agent
@Ahahohoh                             India Field Agent
@KILow0g                               India Field Agent
@theeseus                              India Field Agent
@achirine                                 India Field Agent
@sankarks                              India Field Agent
@00se7en                               India Transfers
@ChanandlerBing                 India Field Agent / Linker
@tithonus                                India Field Agent / Intel
@Ganesh                                 India Field Agent
@djasdak                                India Field Agent
@Cowherd                               India Coimbatore Operator
@Atombomb                           India Coordinator
@gopir1954                             India Coordinator
@Pacifi3r                                  India Coimbatore Agent
@Maxpayne                            India Field Agent
@theDriftKing                         India Transfers
@Lee                                         India Linker
@BATMANslayer                  India Intel
@damnPrAsU                        India Field Agent
@Swaplin                                 India Field Agent
@Helios89                               India Field Agent
@tomcat10                             India Transfers
@Creativerebel                       India Coimbatore Agent
@Crazydestructor                 India Coimbatore Agent
@Afsalbase                             India Coimbatore Agent
@Karthik                                  India Coimbatore Agent
@Killcreek                               India Field Agent
@ApolloxIII                              India Transfers
@Arewindemwe                    India Transfers
@zxi                                          India Standby
@zeddo                                    India Standby
@KnightWarrior                      India Coordinator / Intel
@Impreator                             India Coimbatore Agent
@sabermaster                       India Field Agent
@SIVANESH                           India Coimbatore Agent
@Tomorrow                            India Coimbatore Agent
@ColtronDrangonz               India Coimbatore Agent
@AlanGoh                                India Transfers
@Icount2three                       Shanghai, China Coordinator
@Loogria                                  China Fuzhou Agent / Standby
@Palmmouse                         China Fuzhou Agent / Standby
@ProPhotoRGB                      China Fuzhou Agent / Standby
@yogenpro                               China Hangzhou Agent / Standby
@StrongLiu                              China Hangzhou Agent / Standby
@XIAZONG                               China Hangzhou Agent / Standby
@Pezonovante                        China Hangzhou Agent / Standby
@ColinBarca                             China Hangzhou Agent / Standby
@Anoxic                                    China Hangzhou Agent / Standby
@KaneW                                    China Shanghai Agent / Standby
@ChowHong                             China Shanghai Agent / Standby
@awoowara                              China Shanghai Agent / Standby
@cosAlpha                                China Shanghai Agent / Standby
@hitman1106                           China Shanghai Agent / Standby
@KennanSHA                           China Shanghai Agent / Standby
@Stevemun                             China Shanghai Agent / Standby
@Sartine                                    China Shanghai Agent / Standby
@ArthurPenn                             China Shanghai Agent / Standby
@csho                                         China Shanghai Agent / Standby
@Boyboyboyboy                      China Hunan Agent / Standby
@JasonCC                                 China Guangdong Agent / Standby
@Gazbier                                   China Guangdong Agent / Standby
@080                                           Dubai Transfers
@MT81                                      Russia Transfers / Operator 
@lspacca                                  Russia Transfers
@greyreality                            Russia Transfers
@DntWorryBeHappy              Hong Kong Planning
@snowman2DX                      Hong Kong Planning
@Acasia                                   Thailand Planning
@CloudSound                          Thailand Planning
@HazSpot                                Australia, Data relay and information transfer

Many more Agents took part in this Operation but some have chosen to not be acknowledged. We would like to thank them and the many others who made invaluable contributions to the success of Operation Matahari. 


South Korea sitrep https://plus.google.com/100854612326061280565/posts/aYqYTYpw72N

Indonesian sitrep https://plus.google.com/u/0/+DimasRamadhanAbdillahFikri/posts/9iN4wbY9UY1

#ingress   #Matahari   #Helios   #Enlightened  #sitrep

+Brian Rose +Matilde Tusberti +Ingress +Anne Beuttenmüller +Joe Philley 
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Awesome level of real world coordination.
 
Operation: #GreenMarble  
If the Enlightened spread their message of new discoveries and the world of XM enhancement to all, would it be enough? Are there others out there, not on this Green Marble, that deserve the same opportunity? If exotic matter comes from somewhere else, should we not look for it there?

#Lighthouse  reached out to the travelers of the world to spread the word of XM. While successful, we realized it was too passive. We needed to travel ourselves. We needed to continue and move to actively seek the truth. The seeking IS the Enlightenment.

We will never have all the answers we seek. We will always have unfulfilled curiosities. Should that stop us? In the never-ending quest for better understanding of the truth, how far should we go? How far CAN we go? How BIG can the truth be? And, could we even hope to understand it? To look at the challenge and accept the possibility of failure is immediate failure in its own. It is reverting to fear, to past, to darkness. If the raw radio telescope data collected during Operation #Wildfir3  yields any clues, are we prepared to go wherever they may lead?

Dialtone. Epiphany. Simulacra. Recursion. Death and Rebirth. Interitus. Create New Future. The rise of one form of life, the subsiding of another. Change happens in cycles. From Earth, these changes are monumental. Can Interitus be the end? To think only on the human scale is selfish and arrogant. But lend some scale to the perspective and a bigger image starts to form. Do the changing tides matter outside our own gravitational constraints? If we give credit to the idea of Shapers, beings that summon and control mysterious forms of matter, encode it, control humans with it, we propose entities so powerful they need not concern themselves with our lowly earthly matters. If we don't look past the fear mongering of what the proposed "Alien" shapers have planned for us, will we miss the bigger questions? Are they real? Are they here? If so, lets find the proof. Equally, it would also be liberating to know there are no Shapers, and XM is a valuable natural resource we have been depriving ourselves of? Imagine that it goes one step further, and the Shapers are only servants to even greater masters, in an ever increasing scale of magnitude. Reflect on the microcosm of our human world. We only fear being controlled because of our own misuse of control. We mistrust the unknown because of our own human flaws. 

In the spirit of Lighthouse, Agents launch Operation: Green Marble. We turn the Earth into our beacon, signaling to ourselves, and whatever is out there, that this is marks a new cycle of peace and enlightenment beginning right here on Earth and going where the trail to truth leads us. Everything discovered along the way will be freely shared with all mankind and whoever else we may meet. This signal is sent into space and no Resistance agent can stop it. Like explorers, we set off on a journey into the unknown, not with fear but with excitement.

Tonight, Earth glows green with fields of natural XM. Tonight, we enlighten our world!

+Ingress +Niantic Project +Brian Rose +Joe Philley +Archit Bhargava +John Hanke +flint dille 

#ingress   #ingressreport   #enlightened   #ingressenlightened  
#greenmarble  
Ingress - It's time to Move.: http://youtu.be/92rYjlxqypM
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Ditch your fax machine! HelloFax makes it easy for you to fax online right from your computer. Keep your current number or get a new one. Try us free!
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James Burns

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How To Root Samsung Galaxy Note 3 (Snapdragon 800)
The early #rooting method of #galaxynote3 was pretty easy, but it ended up messing up the #knox counter, resulting in a voided warranty. And since there’s no way of resetting the KNOX counter on your #note3  at the moment, you pretty much end up saying good bye to your warranty. 
Luckily, the famous XDA developer #chainfire has released a new rooting process that won’t mess up the KNOX. However, this method is a bit tedious and only supports the the #snapdragon800 variant.

Read the Method at:
http://www.lostintechnology.com/miscellaneous/root-galaxy-note-3-n9005n9002/

#samsung #samsunggalaxy #smartphone #root 
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"The first public version of Doom was uploaded to Software Creations BBS and an FTP server at the University of Wisconsin–Madison on December 10, 1993" http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doom_(video_game)
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James Burns

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This is not the nature of law enforcement "authority". Cops having more hardware makes it worse.
 
This is a profoundly disturbing editorial. It's an op-ed written by a police officer in the Washington Post, and its message is very simple: 

"If you don’t want to get shot, tased, pepper-sprayed, struck with a baton or thrown to the ground, just do what I tell you. Don’t argue with me, don’t call me names, don’t tell me that I can’t stop you, don’t say I’m a racist pig, don’t threaten that you’ll sue me and take away my badge. Don’t scream at me that you pay my salary, and don’t even think of aggressively walking towards me. Most field stops are complete in minutes. How difficult is it to cooperate for that long?"

I wish I could tell you that this article betrayed a sense of the absurd, or that it was meant in some kind of satirical fashion. It isn't. His argument is simple: you have no idea what's going on for that cop or what the cop is going through. The cop has the right to use whatever force is needed. So if you don't want to get shot, do everything the cop says, never argue, never object. Later, he says, you can "ask for a supervisor, lodge a complaint or contact civil rights organizations if you believe your rights were violated."

To list a few of the exceptionally obvious things which this ignores:

(1) All of the arguments that you don't know what a cop is going through, that this "routine traffic stop" is actually very dangerous for them, and so on, apply just as well to the person being stopped. In fact, especially if you don't look white and upper-class enough, that routine stop is even more dangerous for you than for the cop: the cop doesn't know if you're armed and willing to become violent, but (by Dutta's own admission) you do know that the cop is. Saying that people being stopped need to be respectful and do what the cop says, but that the cop isn't under any such obligation to anyone else, is an invitation for violence.

(2) These post facto remedies which he suggests are incredibly limited in their value. Go ahead and lodge a complaint; it will promptly be filed in the appropriate place. Under the POBOR (Peace Officers' Bill of Rights, a California law) and similar laws elsewhere, you get all sorts of guarantees here: for example, that if a decision is made in regards to your complaint, you will be notified of that decision within 30 days. It does not guarantee, for example, that a decision will actually be made, and in fact it guarantees that if a decision isn't made within a year, the officer will face no consequences from it. The police have a tremendous degree of immunity, and outside of very exceptional situations, are investigated only by an internal system.

(You can read the text of the POBOR here: https://www.cslea.com/legal/pobor . Other states have similar laws, but you should check your own state's laws for the details)

(3) If a police officer does something wrong during a stop, it can have serious consequences for you, which will not be redressed no matter what. As far as the police are concerned, an arrest isn't a "consequence," since the courts can easily throw it out; but go ahead and explain that to your employer when you're telling them why you didn't come to work. Being threatened and harassed every time you walk out the door in your neighborhood isn't a "consequence," because if the cop didn't have a good reason, they wouldn't have done anything.

Knowing that you might be publicly bullied and humiliated, in front of your children, your spouse, or your employer, that you may be searched, beaten, or arrested at any time -- and that such things happen routinely to you and everyone around you -- is something acceptable, in the view of this editorial, because you have the right to file a grievance later with the same organization which has decided that this behavior is, at a baseline, OK.


My purpose here isn't to say that people should be rude or threatening to cops. I'm saying that the obligation of police and citizens is a reciprocal obligation. It is absolutely true that the work of police is dangerous and complicated, and they require certain allowances in order to be able to do their jobs; however, if you translate that to "they must be granted unlimited authority over the citizenry, and must never be challenged, except after the fact and in very limited ways," then the police have been set up to become villains, not heroes. 

Dutta's attitude is profoundly corrupted: he has taken the real and reasonable fears of police about doing their jobs, and expanded it into a notion of the police as being a class above the public, with tremendous powers of force and coercion, and subject to not even contradiction. If you heard this sort of statement from soldiers, you would think you were living in a military junta; if you hear this from police officers, you wonder if they think we are living in a junta.

h/t +Xenophrenia for the link.
It’s not the police, but the people they stop, who can prevent a detention from turning into a tragedy.
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We're almost out of time on our baby name poll - vote now!

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You should date an illiterate girl.

Date a girl who doesn't read. Find her in the weary squalor of a Midwestern bar. Find her in the smoke, drunken sweat, and varicolored light of an upscale nightclub. Wherever you find her, find her smiling. Make sure that it lingers when the people that are talking to her look away. Engage her with unsentimental trivialities. Use pick-up lines and laugh inwardly. Take her outside when the night overstays its welcome. Ignore the palpable weight of fatigue. Kiss her in the rain under the weak glow of a streetlamp because you’ve seen it in a film. Remark at its lack of significance. Take her to your apartment. Dispatch with making love. Fuck her.

Let the anxious contract you've unwittingly written evolve slowly and uncomfortably into a relationship. Find shared interests and common ground like sushi and folk music. Build an impenetrable bastion upon that ground. Make it sacred. Retreat into it every time the air gets stale or the evenings too long. Talk about nothing of significance. Do little thinking. Let the months pass unnoticed. Ask her to move in. Let her decorate. Get into fights about inconsequential things like how the fucking shower curtain needs to be closed so that it doesn't fucking collect mold. Let a year pass unnoticed. Begin to notice.

Figure that you should probably get married because you will have wasted a lot of time otherwise. Take her to dinner on the forty-fifth floor at a restaurant far beyond your means. Make sure there is a beautiful view of the city. Sheepishly ask a waiter to bring her a glass of champagne with a modest ring in it. When she notices, propose to her with all of the enthusiasm and sincerity you can muster. Do not be overly concerned if you feel your heart leap through a pane of sheet glass. For that matter, do not be overly concerned if you cannot feel it at all. If there is applause, let it stagnate. If she cries, smile as if you’ve never been happier. If she doesn't, smile all the same.

Let the years pass unnoticed. Get a career, not a job. Buy a house. Have two striking children. Try to raise them well. Fail frequently. Lapse into a bored indifference. Lapse into an indifferent sadness. Have a mid-life crisis. Grow old. Wonder at your lack of achievement. Feel sometimes contented, but mostly vacant and ethereal. Feel, during walks, as if you might never return or as if you might blow away on the wind. Contract a terminal illness. Die, but only after you observe that the girl who didn't read never made your heart oscillate with any significant passion, that no one will write the story of your lives, and that she will die, too, with only a mild and tempered regret that nothing ever came of her capacity to love.

Do those things, god damnit, because nothing sucks worse than a girl who reads. Do it, I say, because a life in purgatory is better than a life in hell. Do it, because a girl who reads possesses a vocabulary that can describe that amorphous discontent of a life unfulfilled—a vocabulary that parses the innate beauty of the world and makes it an accessible necessity instead of an alien wonder. A girl who reads lays claim to a vocabulary that distinguishes between the specious and soulless rhetoric of someone who cannot love her, and the inarticulate desperation of someone who loves her too much. A vocabulary, goddamnit, that makes my vacuous sophistry a cheap trick.

Do it, because a girl who reads understands syntax. Literature has taught her that moments of tenderness come in sporadic but knowable intervals. A girl who reads knows that life is not planar; she knows, and rightly demands, that the ebb comes along with the flow of disappointment. A girl who has read up on her syntax senses the irregular pauses—the hesitation of breath—endemic to a lie. A girl who reads perceives the difference between a parenthetical moment of anger and the entrenched habits of someone whose bitter cynicism will run on, run on well past any point of reason, or purpose, run on far after she has packed a suitcase and said a reluctant goodbye and she has decided that I am an ellipsis and not a period and run on and run on. Syntax that knows the rhythm and cadence of a life well lived.

Date a girl who doesn't read because the girl who reads knows the importance of plot. She can trace out the demarcations of a prologue and the sharp ridges of a climax. She feels them in her skin. The girl who reads will be patient with an intermission and expedite a denouement. But of all things, the girl who reads knows most the ineluctable significance of an end. She is comfortable with them. She has bid farewell to a thousand heroes with only a twinge of sadness.

Don’t date a girl who reads because girls who read are storytellers. You with the Joyce, you with the Nabokov, you with the Woolf. You there in the library, on the platform of the metro, you in the corner of the café, you in the window of your room. You, who make my life so goddamned difficult. The girl who reads has spun out the account of her life and it is bursting with meaning. She insists that her narratives are rich, her supporting cast colorful, and her typeface bold. You, the girl who reads, make me want to be everything that I am not. But I am weak and I will fail you, because you have dreamed, properly, of someone who is better than I am. You will not accept the life of which I spoke at the beginning of this piece. You will accept nothing less than passion, and perfection, and a life worthy of being told. So out with you, girl who reads. Take the next southbound train and take your Hemingway with you. Or, perhaps, stay and save my life.


Charles Warnke
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