Heart Attack in a Skillet
So a friend and I invented this in early 2007, and I've made it probably a hundred times since then, but have never shared the recipe for this amazing(ly unhealthy) #breakfast
food. It bears some resemblance to a farmer's omelet, but is not nearly as good for you, and is twice as delicious! So here you go!Stuff needed
Suitable amounts of #bacon
, ground sausage (I like the Italian and/or Maple flavors), eggs, grated #cheese
(I like colby jack), butter, and maple syrup. For seasonings, gather up some salt, pepper, and a good heap of garlic. Optional ingredients include diced ham and tortillas.
Those that are chefier than me are welcome to share other seasonings and ingredients that might make it more pleasing to yourself.Construction steps
1. Hand-shred the bacon
into squarish chunks 'n drop it in the frying pan. You can cut it with kitchen scissors, too, but I feel more manly when I'm just ripping the bacon with my bare hands.
2. Start frying the bacon
, much as if you were scrambling eggs or browning hamburger. If your bacon did not come pre-peppered, pepper it now. Also sprinkle a thin layer of garlic on it (most of it will cook off, but it sure smells nice).
3. Once the bacon is about 3/4 of the way cooked, drop a hefty chunk of sausage in there
with it. Scramble the sausage and mix it together real nice. If you timed it right, the sausage and the bacon should finish cooking at nearly the same time. If your sausage is any good, you shouldn't need to put any seasoning on it
4. (Optional) If you're my mom, you can drain some of the extra bacon grease now. If you have the cubed ham, this is where you throw it in
to the pan and toast it.
5. Get a tablespoon or two of butter
(depending on how much Heart Attack you're making) and throw it in with everything else. Stir it around the other food and the bottom of the pan. The purpose of butter is two-fold: it coats the bacon/sausage combo in another delicious flavor, and it helps the eggs not stick to the pan.
6. Speaking of eggs, in they go
! For a half pound of bacon and sausage each, I generally put between 6-8 eggs in. Just as you did with the bacon and sausage, scramble it all together. You'll definitely want to salt, pepper, and garlic the whole mixture to make sure the eggs are suitably seasoned.Wife likes to add a bit of milk and cheese to the eggs before pouring them in, but I prefer without. Either way works, just do it how you like it.
7. After everything is finished cooking, you should have a hideous but wonderful-smelling amalgamation. Remove the frying pan from heat
, but before it has a chance to cool, sprinkle your cheese
onto it and fold it in.Warning: Despite the natural law stating that there is no such thing as "too much cheese", I have found that the Heart Attack is exempt. More scientific investigation is required to fully explain this.
8. Next, and again while it's still hot, lightly drizzle some maple syrup
across it (probably no more than you'd put on a single pancake). Some marvel or revile at the idea of syrup on all this stuff, but the syrup separates and leaves a slightly sugary and slightly mapley flavor on everything, and it's wonderful.
9. (Optional) Somewhere in the middle of it all, get your tortillas ready
: put a few of them in between two damp paper towels and microwave for ~30s. Expert mode
: Scoop all the food out of the frying pan and leave the greasy, wet remains. Warm your tortillas in the spoo for awesome flavor and terrible heart problems.
10. Wrap the Heart Attack up in a warm tortilla and consume immediately
. If you've done it right, your tortilla will probably have some yellowish grease leaking from the bottom; this is normal and perfectly healthy; it's mostly sugar, water, and maybe a bit of butter runoff. If you didn't feel like tortillas today, eat the stuff straight off your plate with a fork; nobody will criticize you.
The proper nomenclature is normally Heart Attack in a Skillet when eaten straight, and Heart Attack in a Tortilla when... well, you get the idea.
Thanks very much for reading! I welcome suggestions and improvements in the comments. Feel free to +1 and Share to anyone you want to give a Heart Attack to!