Wonderful things have happened in our family’s lives and tests that will measure our faith. It’s amazing how in an instant a person’s perspective changes from slipshod to a parent for his child. The feeling of joy is inexplicable the first time I saw my son and of course there’s the long anxiousness before that while waiting.
Our 7 day experience in the hospital is an event we will never forget. First Joy was in the delivery room for 19hrs and after she gave birth she had a blood transfusion then hypertension and fever. Our son Ethan Jon has been in a series of tests and treatment because Joy had her water break for more than 24 hrs and then he was treated for jaundice. I’m thankful that all of those were treated. Then the news came from the doctors that they heard murmurs and came back to confirm that it’s a possible hole in his heart. Me and my wife were crying on the news and I started to ask God on why these things are happening again. We still had hope that the hole will close by itself but the doctors need to know precisely through a 2D echo. The results came to us as a great shock and pain. My son has a Ventricular Septal Defect (VSD) subpulmonic. The doctor concluded that it will not close itself due to the location of the hole which is near the pulmonary valve and he needs a heart surgery after 1 - 2 years. We also need to take extra measure in taking care of the baby and will have to raise a great amount of money for the operation. My wife still remains faithful and has hope in God while I could not even look at above of because of the anguish I have for God. The wounds are still very fresh for us because the time when Joy gave birth was also the time her father was to be cremated and the time we knew that Joy was pregnant was also the time when her childhood best friend died which is also my brother’s girlfriend. While our family and the people around us are saying that everything is possible with God and prayer and He still can do miracles but for me I kept silent and couldn’t nod my head in agreement. It is very painful to see each time my wife cries for our baby. I haven’t lost my belief on God but it’s hard for me to trust His promises. I was back to my independent self that I can find the solutions to these problems all by myself. But then this morning when my wife played the song “I will sing” by Don Moen, I was reminded that I need to put these problems on God’s feet and trust Him once again that he has the solution to what we’re facing now so He ultimately can be glorified. My faith is slowly restored and his promises are once again shining in my heart.
We’re planning now on how we can raise the 1M fund for Ethan’s heart operation and we know we can reach this through the help of good hearted people and God’s faithfulness. In the coming days we’ll let everyone know our plans and we’re open for any suggestion.
Here’s the lyrics of the song “I will sing”: Lord You seem so far away A million miles or more it feels today And though I haven't lost my faith I must confess right now That it's hard for me to pray
But I don't know what to say And I don't know where to start But as You give the grace With all that's in my heart
Chorus: I will sing I will praise Even in my darkest hour Through the sorrow and the pain I will sing I will praise Lift my hands to honor You Because Your Word is true I will sing
Lord it's hard for me to see All the thoughts and plans You have for me But I will put my trust in You Knowing that You died to set me free