Why we live here
Germans are always very cooperative. It's the English guys who remain adamant.
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c".. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
By Nikhil Buch
- DigitasLBI, Razorfish, VivaKiReinvention, Innovation, Futures, present
- Denuo, Publicis Groupe Media, Starcom Mediavest, Leo Burnett, Giant Step
Rishad Tobaccowala is chair of DigitasLBi and Razorfish, two leading, global digital marketing and business transformation networks that are part of the Publicis Groupe – the world’s third largest communications company.
Rishad is also the Chief Strategy and Innovation officer of VivaKi, a global leader in digital advertising solutions and a center of excellence and resource for the entire Publicis Groupe, the world’s third largest communication Groupe with 58,000 employees.
Rishad focuses on incubating new ideas, approaches and models for the next generation of data driven marketing, story telling, brand rethinking and the next two billion customers (China and India).
Rishad serves on the board of directors or board of advisers of several companies including Recycle Bank, Jana, Greycroft Ventures, and Abundant Ventures and is the Chairman of The Tobaccowala Foundation which helps 10,000 needy individuals in India in the areas of education and healthcare.Rishad has a BA in Math from the University of Bombay and an MBA in Marketing and Finance from the Booth School of Business at the University of Chicago
- University of Chicago
- University of Bombay