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Dimi Goddard
Works at Orange
Attended Auckland University of Technology
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Dimi Goddard

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Dimi Goddard

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I received this via someone that I know in New Zealand. This is the CV of a job applicant at my friend's office based workplace. This is genuine and 100% real. See Facebook page....

 (name)
Curriculum Vitae 

I'm now physically and mentally fit and able to start work immediately.
Weight: kg
Height:  feet  inches

I'm now a  year apprentice electrician. I've completed most of the  year electricians course at the  Institute apart from the trade and one day exams. I attended College from January 20 - December 20 (left at the end of 6th form) and:

Passed NCEA Level 1 in:
• Maths
• Maori language
• English
• Accounting
• Computers

Passed NCEA Level 2 in:
• Maths
• Maori language
• English
• Accounting
• Computers
• Physical Education

Previous jobs
January 2002 - January 2005, Petrol station
Controlled stock, served people and handled cash.
January 2006 - September 2007, Company
Wired houses, apartments, commercial buildings and industrial buildings.
September 2007 - December 2007, Company
Wired apartments and houses.
December 2007 - January 2009, Company
Wired apartments and commercial buildings.
January 2009 - Now, Unemployed, looking for and wanting to taxable work 

Current living situation: I'm living in a house with my parents in  for roughly the past year because i've no money (I get paid the weekly benefit from the government). I'll flat the day after my next taxed pay for working is deposited into my bank account. I'm unemployed, looking for and wanting to taxable work because according to my verbal referees I was the last person to be employed at their companies so then I was the first person to be made redundant because of the lack of work given to me

Date of birth: 
Gender: M

Ever owned or do I now own my own child: I'm not now having, i'll never have, i've never had sex activities with a living thing that's not female human being, unrelated, can't grow her own natural orange hair, isn't asian, weighs under 80 kilograms, is aged 18 or older, isn't retarded, is taller than 160 centimetres. From now until i'm aged 40 i won't have sex activities with a female that's older than 40 (that age will go up when i'm aged 40). I've never, i'm now not and I never will merge my bank account with anyone, give anyone my to purchase card to keep or my to get cash out card to keep, get married to anyone or anything. I've been to a family restaurant to eat and play in a playground. I've ever been to a fancy restaurant to eat 10 times for 45 minutes each time, it was free for everything each time. I'm now not and i've never been an uncle

Religious: I've never been and never will be. I've ever been in a church to praise a god 10 times, each time for an hour to see what they did

Nationality: New Zealander
Blood in me when I was born:  Scottish, % Maori and % Danish

Drivers licence: New Zealand full class 1 and i've no demerit points. I can drive a manual

IRD number: 
Bank account number: 

Family: I've never had a sibling, mum or dad that has died or is about to die in the next 50 years. I've a mum (54), dad (53), brother (32) and a sister (27)
Pet: No

Ever owned or do I now own part of a house, a piece of land or a big toy: I now own a car that's now all roads legal in earth. It now works, it's 199 Mazda Eunos 500 manual. I'll use that car to get to and home from work
New Zealand elections: I vote for legalise cannabis
Criminal history: I've never been in jail. I'll never go to jail unless to do taxable work. I've done between 100-200 hours of community service work that was given to me with force by a ministry of justice court judge. I'm now not, never will and never did commit a crime that was pre planned. I've done and been convicted for driving when drunk. I've done and been convicted for peeing on a vacant public bush at dark (I needed to pee, I thought there wasn't a toilet or urinal near me and nobody could see me before I started a 10 second urination). I used diversion the first time I could for peeing on a vacant public dry concrete at dark (I did that crime, I needed to pee, I thought there wasn't a toilet or urinal near me and nobody could see me before I started a 10 second urination). I've done and been convicted for trying to escape from police custody (I sprinted away for a minute before being handcuffed) to a bar

Current site safe: No
Do I now own protective gear: Steel capped lace up boots, ear muffs and clear glasses

My contacts: Mobile - 
Email - 

I support New Zealand in everything. I first left living with my parents aged 17 (went flatting) then moved back to living with my parents aged 21 because I was unemployed, looked for and wanted to taxable work (I had no money). I was born in , Australia, lived there until aged 3 then moved to , Australia then aged 5 moved to , New Zealand. Stayed in since then apart from I flatted in  for 5 months when I was 17 years old and where i'm living now. Aged 17 I went to Scotland, England, Germany, Holland and Thailand. I'm now not, i've never been and never will be a cop, dj at a bar, stripper, jeweller, make up maker, technology maker, aa mechanic, giglo, massagist, accupuncturer, photographer, breast implanter for people with normal breasts, beauty therapist, sales rep that knocks on doors and talks to non mute or non deaf people, hairdresser, lifeguard, security guard, bartender, bar owner or in a government armed force. 

• Frequently play and watch most sports (mostly rugby league, fishing, touch rugby, rugby league tag, softball and surf on a board that's 6 feet long at a beach (mostly with one or more of my friends, sometimes with myself or with one or more of my family) ) apart from rugby union and soccer. I've played for  softball club for 9 years until the club became nonexistent (I don't know why it became and is nonexistent)
• Listen to a little bit of music
• Party
• Play a few video games
• Gamble on a few New Zealand tab horses (gallops) and most sports apart from rugby union and soccer roughly weekly at most places mostly at a pub or at home, mostly with one or more of my friends, sometimes with myself or with one or more of my family
• Search for then be the new owner of a bargain or bargains at most free entry roadside inorganics roughly yearly
• Drink alcohol (mostly beer). I don't smoke tobacco. I've smoked and chewed tobacco
Glynn Rudolph's profile photoEmily Hobbs's profile photo
10 second urination.
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A witty one-liner about me: Digital Media Specialist and geek girl, ex-gamer and Drum & Bass lover... Music=Life
  • Auckland University of Technology
    Marketing & Business
Head of Design Production
  • Orange
    Head of Design Production, 2013 - present
  • Ogilvy
    Digital Manager, 2010 - 2012
  • Billington Cartmell
    Digital Project Manager, 2008 - 2010
  • Engine Group
    Digital Project Manager, 2007 - 2008
  • Loveurope
    Digital Delivery Director, 2012 - 2013
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