Hi friends, firstly, I'm hopeless at writing stuff like this, but I'm going to try, with the hope, it may help anyone else in a similar situation.
I'm not looking for sympathy, you've all been amazing friends, with you kind thoughts and words, and I couldn't thank you all enough.
Following Julie's passing at the beginning of March, I've never really grieved, or cried for her passing. Throwing myself in to, sorting the house, garden, and garage out.
Back in 2005, Julie and I spent a magical three weeks in a holiday cottage, called White Cottage in Peebleshire, Scotland. About two to three miles down the road is an historic house, called Traquair House, it is Scotlands Oldest Inhabited House, dating back to 1107. The first time we visited the house, Julie had the most incredible feeling of dejavu, even down to describing parts of the grounds, although she had never been there before. We made many more trips there during our three week stay, and developed a great love and affinity for the place.
This last two three weeks, I've been drawn, and more drawn to making a return trip. Today, I decided to have a day trip, back to Traquair, along with Martha of course. It felt strange driving back up there, but also a sense of calm. When I arrived, I bought my ticket from the ticket booth. Then driving down the drive, to park the car, I just burst into tears, and cried and cried, like I've never cried before, and shed many more tears walking around the grounds, but afterwards, there was a sense of relief, and a great calmness surrounded me.
Hope this makes sense. Anyone who may have lost a loved one recently, and you find yourself being drawn to a particular place, please, just make the trip there. You maybe surprised at what you find, within yourself.
Photo below is Traquair House.